SUMMARY KEYWORDS

communication, laughter, podcast, parents, share, speak, communicate, foul language, absolutely, life, person, episode, teenager, agree, listening, support, important, comment, dialogue

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:02

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the mindset evolution podcast hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are until your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:26

Hi everybody. This is Kathi Tait, the baldwarrior here talking to you live from Australia on the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. And with me as always is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys. Hi Daisy, how are you?

Daisy 00:43

Hi, I'm extremely well thank you so much for making your time in a timely manner to meet again and to do this because this is so exciting and I love doing it and I'm very busy on the other hand, of course with clients, but I just make it a priority to take that time and set it aside and don't take appointments and don't work late at night, but meet with you to make the world a better place. And this is just lovely. How are you, my dear friend?

Kathi 01:13

Wow, I love that Daisy, because we have done a whole episode around time. And we actually mentioned being on time in our last episode as well, which was on boundaries. 

Kathi 01:25

I am great Daisy. I'm having a very busy and very productive week. So I'm excited to be here also and dedicate this time to our special baby, this podcast where we get to help people out there and today, I've decided we're going to talk about communication. 

Daisy 01:43

Mmh?

Kathi 01:44

Now it is a bit of a lead on from our last episode where we spoke about boundaries. And in that episode, Daisy brought up a really important key point that I think is so important to communication that I think we're going to talk about it again briefly. In case you haven't listened to the last episode, but if you haven't guys, you must go back and do that. So before we get into that, communication to me is a two-way street. I think success in communication relies on one person being able to express themselves and the other person being willing to listen to understand. And if any of those elements aren't quite right, communication can go very wrong very fast. To bring us back to the important key point is Daisy was speaking about the first person singular and what that means within the communication framework. Can we revisit that briefly Daisy to explain what I'm talking about?

Daisy 02:49

Of course, anything. Before I go there to first person singular, let me express my okay because we're communicating right? (Laughter). Healthy communication to me is to understand and be understood without the need to be right. 

Kathi 03:05

Yes. 

Daisy 03:06

So that's a very important essential part, I'd say without the need to be right.

Kathi 03:11

Absolutely. I absolutely agree with that. 

Daisy 03:14

I'm glad you do. (Laughter) So that is one part. Then the next thing is when you say it's a two-way street, it depends on the form of communication, our listeners out there, it's a one way street to them. They are listening to us.

Kathi 03:28

That is true. And of course we address that by putting the ability to give us feedback everywhere. (Laughter)

Daisy 03:37

True, in the group and even on the website, that's brand new, because we have just amazing news, but I let Kathi pop that pop of news. 

Daisy 03:48

We want to define, okay, what is it? Is it a monologue, or is it a dialogue? Mono means okay, it's one. Those who are in the music industry are doing podcasts or recording or listening to music, you usually enjoy stereo, much more than mono. Me personally, I do, I think other music lovers as well. Once it is agreed upon that this is going to be a dialogue, then both parties should be responsible to be open both ways. 

Kathi 04:18

Yes

Daisy 04:19

So when I'm speaking, I'm the one sending a message. You can imagine now, an old fashioned envelope where I'm putting something in there that I want to send to Kathi, and then she's the receiver. Now I can actually look, is it a good time that I'm sending, is she occupied, is she in the mood? That's what I can control kind of thing by my observation. That I sent the message and then now I turn into the receiver, because you become the sender. It's like the two tennis giants, Djokovic and Federer, I know there are others out there too, but I'm still, I like Roger Federer, yes Switzerland and who is number one, these gentlemen, on and off the tennis courts, my personal applause to him. And on the tennis court, what do they do? The ball goes back and forth, so that there must be some flow in the communication. And of course, it is helpful when we speak the same language. 

Kathi 05:17

Very helpful.

Daisy 05:18

Because wenn ich jetzt mit dir auf Deutsch weiterspreche, dann verstehst du mich nicht mehr, pause, because you're trying to find any data that's related to 

Kathi 05:28

not even one word (Laughter)

Daisy 05:32

I just said in German that if I continue speaking German to you, then you would probably not understand one word of it. So I think it is helpful that we speak in a language that we can agree upon, we both understand and enjoy. 

Kathi Tait 05:46

Yes

Daisy 05:47

I can give you an example about that. My son and I, we both speak three languages, the same three languages and we switch back and forth and something and sometimes he says mom, can you say it in German, please? if he's in the mood, or if he's not in the mood to set sail in English, so that's okay. And then we can agree upon. So that's why the part of language can be really important. 

Daisy 06:09

And then the next thing is okay is the other person open to receive, because let's say you're absolutely stressed, you're late, you have two other tests to do and it's almost midnight and you're tired and you have toothache and you have headaches and you need to go use the bathroom. It's probably not an opportune moment to communicate to you about the vacation we want to take in 2025 or the retreats that we're planning on doing in Fiji next year, so it's probably not opportune. So it's my responsibility. 

Daisy 06:36

And then when we communicate, what is it, it's actually it's sharing and caring. So I share with you what's going on in my head, my thoughts. I share with you what's going on in my heart, my feelings, emotions, I share with you, maybe some of my concerns, I share with you some of my experiences and then that is the tennis, is just going back and forth. And we are not like two tennis players on the court. This is not about winning the US Open or the Australian Open, none of that, mmh?

Kathi 07:07

No 

Daisy 07:07

That's what communication is not! But the ball in this metaphor, the back and forth, that is why it's a dialogue. So let's go back to the tennis court, because communication can be healthy and we can discuss something or we can move forward, we can come to a conclusion, to an agreement or we come to laughter together, or we cry together. These are all aspects of communication. 

Kathi 07:32

Yes. 

Daisy 07:33

And the communication is only over when I put down my racket. Game over. Okay, so we discussed that there are these people they repeat themselves over and over again.

Kathi 07:43

(Whispering) I have a couple of family members. (Laughter and indistinct whispering...we agree not....not close family.) I know a couple people like that in my life that do tend to repeat themselves. 

Daisy 08:01

So what do you do then? 

Kathi 08:02

Then there was this one particular person who was just an acquaintance and I genuinely didn't know what to do because she thought she was funny. She would tell these stories and laugh at herself and it was like, she was just entertaining yourself. But she also would repeat things and tell the same stories over and over. 

Daisy 08:22

What did you do? How did you respond? 

Kathi 08:24

 I didn't hang out with her as much.

Daisy 08:26

How sad, I think.

Kathi 08:28

Yeah, because in those days, there's no way I would have confronted somebody with that in fear of hurting their feelings. Which we spoke about last episode.

Daisy 08:40

Yeah. 

Kathi Tait 08:40

Boundaries. 

Daisy 08:40

The boundaries episode

Kathi 08:41

Yeah. 

Daisy 08:41

So okay, but let's go back to communication. 

Kathi 08:44

Yes. 

Daisy 08:45

Because maybe the two of you could have had great communication had you communicated with her, that it's not that entertaining for you when she's repeating the same story over and again, so there was a lack of communication producing some problem. 

Kathi 09:01

Yeah, sure, yeah. 

Daisy 09:02

Now part of communication is also that I share with you, I help you remember that you already told me, so I can do that in a gentle way. I can say, I remember you already told me that. I help you remember what you did or didn't say.

Kathi 09:18

Yeah

Daisy 09:18

That's gentle. And maybe she could have told you some incredible life stories, or maybe laughed together or maybe laughed about her telling the same story again, because the moment when we stop communication, that's quite a statement too, isn't it? 

Kathi 09:32

Yes, it is. 

Daisy 09:33

So you see, there's so many aspects it's exciting. Communication is so important. I love it, by the way, when I see people who communicate through sign language.

Kathi 09:43

Oh, they're amazing, aren't they?

Daisy 09:45

And they can be so expressive, and it is, wow, I wish I understood, mmh?

Kathi 09:51

Yes, for sure.

Daisy 09:52

So you see, communication is very important. Now what I think is very good for all humans, be fair, choose your words wisely and remember foul language is a no go. 

Kathi 10:03

Yeah.

Daisy 10:03

I don't care where anyone acquired their talents of using foul language. It's a no go. Because the moment I add that kind of, to me personally unnecessary, spice into communication, it goes a certain way. Leave it out, try to leave it out. Actually, let me correct that. I do care where you acquired the foul language. Let's address it. Let's heal it and stop doing it because you will feel better about yourself.

Kathi 10:30

That's a great point. Daisy. Absolutely,

Daisy 10:32

Yes, I got a point. Yes. (Laughter)

Kathi 10:37

Let's give our listeners a simple communication exercise they can go home and do with someone in their family.

Daisy 10:45

First person singular. 

Daisy 10:46

Now I go back to your requests next time when you say hey, you're leaving the socks out there again, turn it around, speak what you're observing as if you were a surveillance camera. I see some socks here and I'm not really sure what I should think about that. That's a great skill. By the way, the mother of one of my teachers, she was so elegant because instead of her reacting, she always inserted that little thingy. She asked herself a question. She did this in German language. And she asked as to what should I think about that now? So she gained some time to respond instead of react. So next time you see the laundry still in the hallway, or on the floor, or on the bedroom, or the couch or wherever, just say what you're experiencing and share how it makes you feel. And then add your request what you would like instead. That's clear and then let's see what happens. Give us feedback. 

Daisy 11:38

I love that. I love that, so simple. And how about one that a teenager could do?

Daisy 11:45

A teenager? 

Kathi 11:45

Yes. 

Daisy 11:46

What would be a topic? What's the context?

Kathi 11:48

How about they have got a new boyfriend or girlfriend and the parents trying to ask about it and they don't want to talk about it, but they also don't want to cause conflict with their parent.

Daisy 12:00

Okay, so we're trying to help the parents out there or the teenager, hmm? Two different things. (Laughter)

Kathi 12:09

I don't know, I have a feeling that this will reach into some teenagers' ears, so let's do it from the teenager's point of view.

Daisy 12:16

So let's say that there is a nagging parent, hey, but tell me that so you have a girlfriend finally or you have a boyfriend now or what's going on there, is that the kind...?

Kathi 12:24

Yeah, yeah. And all the stuff that parents do around that can be very frustrating for a teenager when they just want to do their thing. 

Daisy 12:33

Explore. I think for all teenagers out there, when your parents are caring parents, they can still be annoying at times. I'm a mother myself. And so is Kathi.

Kathi 12:42

I am, yes. 

Daisy 12:43

We do really care for what you do at all times, all the time, a lifetime long. So you will not be able to outgrow this. It will not go to disappear. That's it, that's mom.

Kathi 12:56

We can both attest to that, mine's 26, yours is 28, I think?

Daisy 13:01

No sir he's just turned 30 (laughter & indistinct comments)

Kathi 13:08

It doesn't change no matter how old they get.

Daisy 13:11

Imagine that your parents care, they don't ask for nagging. They don't ask because they want to nag you, they ask probably because they're curious. They want to know what's going on in your life and they want to also be sure that you're okay, wherever you are in your life.

Kathi 13:26

Yes, it is often your safety whether it seems reasonable or not, parents worry about their kids.

Daisy 13:32

Yeah. So now as a teenager, what you can do. Let's say your parent asked you once, I would be frank, I'd say, depends if you have a new friend or not. Yes, I'm trying to figure out I really like that one person and I thought it's a wise thing to get to know them better. 

Kathi 13:47

Hey, kids say that to your parents and see if it leaves them speechless. (laughter)

Daisy 13:56

Could be.

Kathi 13:56

I think it might.

Daisy 14:00

 And then here to the parents let's... because I don't want to abandon them in this case scenario.

Kathi 14:04

No, let's help them too.

Daisy 14:05

Parents, yes. Ask them. And if you have the experience that your children are honest, sincere, then believe them. If you have a cheeky sneaky child that has the tendency to bend here a little bit or bend there a little bit, then there's a different problem involved as well, that can be addressed. When it's about, okay, let's build trust here, because you're going to be a grown up shortly and I would like to make sure that you're aware of it, how important it is for me that you're responsible human being that is sincere and can be trusted, because I want to treat you as a young adult. And in order for me to do that, I need to be able to trust you and know that when you say something to me that I can take it to the bank that it's true.

Kathi 14:49

Absolutely. And I think that is an extremely important pillar in any of our relationships, and it's especially apparent when we're talking about teenagers 'cause you go through so much as a teenager and having your parent on your side is going to make your life a lot easier. And I worked hard to build a great relationship with my son when he was a teenager, so he felt safe in coming to me with anything he was struggling with. So, you know, we want to support and encourage that.

Daisy 15:20

I think honesty is very key. That's another part of communication. Unless I'm a stand up comedian and tell you the green, the blue and the yellow from the walls, then that's my job because I'm entertaining you in that setting. But I do believe that honesty is very important, because otherwise, who am I lying to? I'm setting up already lies in the entire setting. 

Kathi 15:40

Absolutely. 

Daisy 15:41

So if I want honesty, then I better be an honest person. 

Kathi 15:44

Absolutely 

Daisy 15:44

Agreed?

Kathi 15:45

Yes, absolutely. Definitely another pillar. 

Daisy 15:48

And I want to say I honestly appreciate our supporters. Thank you so much. Really, that's wonderful. Thank you, what a nice gesture to share with us that you appreciate what you're doing and your comments as well with the support, so that we can keep up with our technical stuff here and the staff.

Kathi 16:04

Yes.

Daisy 16:05

That's wonderful, thanks so much.

Kathi 16:07

We're very thankful for everyone out there who's supported us in all the ways they can. And actually we have a little announcement today we have... 

Daisy 16:16

Bring it on! 

Kathi 16:19

We have just launched our website, the home of the Bald and Blonde podcast and the address is baldandblonde.live. So you can head over there and check out information about Daisy and I and our backgrounds and to get access to all the other things that we do. Plus we have special write-ups on each episode, the ability to listen right there on the website, and so much more. We are going to produce special podcast packs for every episode we do that helps you dive deeper into the topic, into the lessons we discuss and give you some exercises that you can actually do at home. So we're really excited. Every episode that has been published to date has a podcast pack there for you to go and download today. So check it out!

Daisy 17:15

That's wonderful, so much effort in that and I believe this is the future of learning because you can go precisely to topic and you can dive in deeper, you can share, you can learn something, change your own life, create the life you really dream of. That's why it's called Dream Life Creators on Facebook in the group and we share a lot of specials there that are dear to us. And you can get to know us a little bit closer as we are sharing some personal insights and we share some live videos and we say hello to everyone. And if you have a question just come on and ask us because we believe that it's part of communication to ask questions.

Kathi 17:54

Absolutely. And that group is designed to be there to support you guys with what you're going through and help you create change in your life. So we do urge you to come on over and join us and get to know Daisy and I much better as there's a lot of stuff happening in there that you will not see anywhere else. So we're going to wrap it up for our episode on communication there today. And we thank you for your time, your support and please do get in touch with us if there's anything you'd like to say. We love feedback. And don't forget to hit subscribe on your favorite podcast listening platform.

Daisy 18:32

That is wonderful. Exactly and share because we share so much with you. So you're welcome to share with us. Thank you so much for listening and talk to you soon. 

Kathi 18:42

See you next time. 

Daisy 18:43

Bye. 

Daisy 18:44

Thank you so much for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde mindset evolution podcast. Make sure you like our podcast, comment and leave us a five-star review. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you consume podcasts. Share with your friends and loved ones. Leave a comment and reach out to us with questions and how we can help you change your life. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Talk to you next time.

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:02

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the Mindset Evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are. And are your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:26

And Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution. I'm Kathi Tait, the Baldwarrior from Australia and with me as always, is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys. Hi, Daisy.

Daisy 00:42

Hi, Kathi to Australia and hello to all the listeners around the globe. It's so exciting to just sit here and see you Kathi and just I'm sitting on pins and needles not literally but mentally almost. And I'm waiting what you're throwing at me this time so we can share with the listeners here around the globe.

Kathi 01:04

Yes, this is one of my favorite parts is not telling Daisy the topic until we press record, he, he, he! (laughter). Daisy, today we are going to talk about routines.

Daisy 01:22

Mmm, aha. So like you and I, we have our weekly routine when we meet and produce our podcasts, interesting, routines.

Kathi 01:31

Yes, now I think that routines are probably something a lot of people do consciously, but I think we also have a lot of routines in our lives that we don't even realize are there. But I have to say this, as an innate rebel, I instinctively don't want to routine, (laughter) and I even fight them. I kind of have designed my life to be fairly easygoing and then I really think about it and go what actually I still do have routines myself as well.

Daisy 02:03

Mmm, yes well, your need for variety is probably bigger than your need for security, in this case, when it comes to routines. And that is okay, because we all have human needs. So there are basic human needs that we all do have. Now, routines, actually, what are they? They're some things, chores or specific habits that we do repeatedly at specific times, or during specific seasons, or in specific ways. And I can really go to, let me bring you up a really funny comparison, spaghetti. How do you eat your spaghetti? So are you the person, are you the person like putting the fork on the plate and then you're trying to throw them up and then you put them in your mouth? Or are you the person using a fork and a spoon and then put them on your spoon and then turn the fork around, around, around and then eat it? And then question is, are you eating it off the fork or off the spoon? Or are you the person with the fork and knife who cuts them into tiny little pieces and eat it that way? So what's your routine when it comes to spaghetti?

Kathi 03:10

Oh, I don't know. I think cutting the spaghetti up defeats the purpose of having spaghetti, (laughter).

Daisy 03:27

I agree. I agree. Hello to our Italian friends out there and we have many, thank you. And we love spaghetti, we love all the pasta, I personally.

Kathi 03:41

It was actually an Italian person who showed me how to eat spaghetti and they showed me the fork and the spoon and the twirling. So that's how I do it now.

Daisy 03:52

Okay, so now interestingly, the real Italians from Italy, they think that oh, so you're a child when you're using the spoon to it, but without judgment. Now let's put the spaghetti a little bit away for a moment. But how did you and where did you learn how to eat spaghetti. And now I want to give you a cute little antidote, the spaghetti brain. When we are born, then we have mirror neurons. We all have them still as adults, but when we're born and then these mirror neurons, they kick in because so we're observing a person what they're doing and, in the meantime, let's say we're one year old, we are not eating spaghetti yet, but we're observing the people in our environment in the family who are eating spaghetti. That is when we already learned eating spaghetti or how to eat spaghetti, although we're not aware of it as a one-year-old. Then we are two years old and then automatically, routinely, we're trying to train ourselves how to eat spaghetti, how the adults in our environment or the older siblings, or friends or neighbors are eating spaghetti. So now why is that so important? When our mirror neurons have an impact on how we eat spaghetti, subconsciously, because we're not consciously aware of it when we're learning, then imagine how many routines we're doing, only because we saw someone else doing it. So whose routine is it?

Kathi 05:28

This sounds like subtle conditioning.

Daisy 05:30

Yes. And now we want to use these mirror neurons for our own benefit. Now, how can we do that? So let's say I'm a little lazy when it comes to exercise or my calendar is too busy to do exercise.

Kathi 05:49

You can't see people, but Kathi's hand just went up (laughter).

Daisy 05:53

Yes, her hands up, I saw it, I saw it, I witnessed her hand's up! So let's say when you have that, then now how can you promote a new routine so that more likely you will pick it up?

Kathi 06:09

Oh, do tell.

Daisy 06:10

So tell me,

Kathi 06:11

I want to know this.

Daisy 06:13

Oh, you want to know?

Kathi 06:13

I don't have this answer because I'm the rebel (laughter).

Daisy 06:16

I wasn't certain, I thought you will tell. Okay, she's curious already. So here's the thing. Motivation itself in the way it is promoted to us in most seminars and workshops are not as they work by my humble experience. But when we make attractive, what's not attractive, and we make unattractive, what is attractive, then it's a win, win situation. So let's say if your laziness or skipping your exercise routine is attractive to you, let's make that unattractive and let's make it so super hyper mega attractive to exercise. Now, why is it so easy when we see someone doing the exercise, then? Oh, yeah, well, okay, so I could do that too. But when you are surrounded by people who are all not exercising, you eventually will also be an exercise, lazy avoider. There's a saying out there where they say, the four closest people in your life will influence who you become.

Kathi 07:27

Yeah.

Daisy 07:28

And I agree. Totally.

Kathi 07:29

Yeah.

Daisy 07:30

And that is also something with the spaghetti, you see the spaghetti parade? That's exactly it. When we were little, we couldn't choose who's going to be around us when they ate spaghetti. So I didn't choose how to start eating them, you see.

Kathi 07:46

I want to know how you switch your brain from thinking something is attractive to not attractive. This is intriguing.

Daisy 08:00

Okay, I appreciate I take that as a compliment, I appreciate. Well, how do we make something attractive, unattractive? Well, I do believe, again, that it is important to put some logic to it. So when I know of the benefits of physical exercise, or even if it's just taking a walk or riding the bicycle comfortably, not racing or something like that, when I know it's beneficial and I ignore that, because of my laziness is more attractive, or the couch is more attractive to me than the saddle on the bicycle, or my exercise shoes. There's a very simple trick, and I'm trying to explain it here. And please, dear listeners, don't do that while you're driving in the car and listen to our podcast. When you sit on a plane, you can do it because you're not the pilot unless you're the pilot, don't do it. So imagine, so close your eyes, and then just imagine a picture what you would like to find attractive. For example, you Kathi exercising, I don't know how it would be your desired outcome. How often would you like to exercise to feel really good about yourself? Three, four times a week?

Kathi 09:09

Yes. Okay. Yes, any number bigger than zero is probably better (laughter!)

Daisy 09:15

But we want to create a routine so that it's not only always Mondays, let's say but maybe more frequently. Okay, close your eyes, sweetheart. And just make up a picture, just imagine you exercising three or four times a week. Is it in color or black and white?

Kathi 09:32

Color.

Daisy 09:33

Okay. How does it feel for you when you see that picture? Kathi is exercising, you can even imagine her having a smile on her and she's just feeling good about herself that she's doing it, especially afterwards.

Kathi 09:45

Did you all notice how Daisy just dropped me straight in this? (laughter)

Daisy 09:51

Well, I'm giving you a little suggestion what to focus on, yes.

Kathi 09:54

Yes. Okay, so I'm in color and I'm smiling and I'm feeling good 'cause I'm moving and stretching, and my exercise of choice is a rowing machine, and it feels really good to stretch out the muscles and then actually have my heart rate increase so I can picture that.

Daisy 10:16

Okay, very good. So if you want to, you can add a little sound to that short movie, I assume. When you see yourself moving, is it a short movie?

Kathi 10:25

Yes, yes. It definitely needs to be some sort of music because that keeps me motivated.

Daisy 10:32

Okay, put your favorite music in it. She's nodding her head to the rhythm.

Kathi 10:36

I am, only I hear. I would sing but you don't want to hear that guys (laughter). Okay, I'm not I'm not the songstress out of us.

Daisy 10:43

Okay, so here's what I'd like you to do with that short movie or that picture frame what you have, and I'd like you to push it a little further away from you. Okay, and now, so you push it further in the distance, so it's a little bit blurry, you don't really see it anymore. And now here's what I'd like you to do. I'd like you to pull up another picture, where you're really the lazy avoider of exercise. I'd like you to have a look at that picture, color or black and white?

Kathi 10:48

Ah yes, she's color too.

Daisy 10:53

Okay, she's colored too, what's the expression on her face?

Kathi 11:14

Ah, relaxed, chilled

Daisy 11:20

Okay, yeah. Okay. Now, here's what I'd like you to do. I'd like you to turn that picture in color, I'd like you to turn it into black and white.

Kathi 11:28

Okay, yeah.

Daisy 11:29

Okay. Okay. And now here's what I'd like you to do. I'd like you to make it also a little blurry. This is not that important.

Kathi 11:39

Okay.

Daisy 11:40

Okay. And now, what I'd like you to do, I'd like you to keep that picture there, as it is, there's no sound to it, and what I'd like you to do the picture that is there in the distance, I'd like you to bring that closer, but keep it behind the black and white picture.

Kathi 12:00

So the color movie of me exercising, bring it closer, but keep it behind my lazy black and white picture.

Daisy 12:09

That's right, and really put it very, very close one on top of the other. Good?

Kathi 12:14

Okay. Yeah.

Daisy 12:15

Okay. Now what I'd like you to do, I'd like you to just open your eyes for a moment. And I'd like you to think about exercise. What's the first thought that comes to your mind?

Kathi 12:25

The rowing machine is the first thought.

Daisy 12:28

Okay? So because now here's what happens, I give a little insight here. The picture in the back ,in the background is always stronger than the one on top. And whenever you feel okay, so now I'm going to chill out, you will more likely feel like okay, I need to move. If you get bored of that new routine, you call me and we undo it. Okay?

Kathi 12:52

You're tricky, Daisy. (Laughter)

Daisy 12:56

I wanted to help you, to make attractive what's not attractive and to make unattractive, what you felt attractive. That's why we changed the color on it.

Kathi 13:04

You know what I think actually changing the color of it is a really important part. Because when I close my eyes again, it's almost see-through.

Daisy 13:13

Mm-hm, because the one behind is so much stronger, exactly. But now here's the point. So the key is to be making unattractive what you felt attractive, and making unattractive what you felt attractive, instead of right now?

Kathi 13:28

I think so. It's a bit of a tongue twister. But I think we've got it. We've just visited opposite land and switched our brains around and did a little bit of a brain trick there. But I actually feel like that might work. Well, yeah,

Daisy 13:42

We hope that or let's do it this way. Next time we record, you're going to inform the listeners how it goes with your exercise routine. I'm going to hold you accountable. How often did you exercise?

Kathi 13:56

Right, I'm just writing that down everybody.

Daisy 14:00

You're not going to get any points for that.

Kathi 14:02

Oh!

Daisy 14:03

You don't get plus points or more negative points for that, I'm just curious how it goes. Now the point here is that we want to create routines. Now once it is attractive. Let's face it, when that coffee in the morning would really taste ugly. Let's say...

Kathi 14:22

Don't you ruin my coffee, Daisy!

Daisy 14:24

No, no, I'm not, (laughter). I'm not I'm not trying to, because I enjoy my coffee too, in the morning. But let's say your coffee would taste like fresh cut grass mixed with what is something ugly, I don't even know. So with something you dislike.

Kathi 14:45

Oysters?

Daisy 14:46

Yes, okay, well, for me, it's oyster. Let's say you then imagine your coffee in a different light, than that coffee all of the sudden is not that attractive anymore.

Kathi 14:56

Mmm.

Daisy 14:56

You see and when we then make for example, what's not so attractive, like your exercise, or bringing out the garbage. I know of people who are almost traumatized when they have to bring out the garbage from their apartment door, entrance door to the trash chute. And they find that horrible. So I help them sometimes to make that attractive. It's important because these are things we can help ourselves to get chores done more happily, instead of, ugh, I don't like it, I don't like it. It's again let me go back to our cute little dogs one, which is really the good, good, good dog and the bad, bad, bad dog, then we want to put more attention into what we want to achieve.

Kathi 15:40

Yes,

Daisy 15:40

and there some brain, not tricks, because it's not a trick, but there are ways. It's like gymnastics, you know, like brain yoga, or something like that, brain stretching, how you can then become more flexible and create new routines.

Kathi 15:55

Yeah, I like that. That's a really good way of looking at it. I want to revisit something that you said in the beginning, though.

Daisy 16:04

Please

Kathi 16:04

When I mentioned how I instinctively want to rebel against routines, you mentioned that perhaps my need for variety was higher than my need for security.

Daisy 16:16

Mm-hmm.

Kathi 16:16

Now I find that quite a fascinating statement and so I want to just explore that with our last few minutes. Because I think that I'm probably not alone out there in this. And so is that what it is, my instinctiveness that I don't want a routine is because I'm happier with variety and perhaps impulsiveness. And personally, I'm thinking perhaps this is part of me, because my day job, so to speak is quite logically brained, I'm actually an accountant. So in that job, my brain has to think a certain way, do certain things. It certainly has routines attached to that role. But when I'm not doing that, perhaps I feel like I want to be the opposite. Do you think that that could be what's going on with me?

Daisy 17:04

That can be that you're looking for a counterbalance, that's possible. Nevertheless, people also with counterbalances still may have specific needs that are not met. And that is very important to explore. So if you have a need for variety that you feel is holding you back from creating a routine, then your need for variety can help you to create a routine that is healthy for you, that you want to achieve, but you do it with more variety, so you do not have to rebel against the routine part.

Kathi 17:40

So perhaps instead of doing it on my rowing machine four times a week, I use the rowing machine once, I walk once, I play tennis once, I do a team sport once, is that what you mean by variety? In the routine?

Daisy 17:56

Well, I do not know exactly what variety means to you. Because that's very individual and subjective, but you can spice it up. I saw a girl the other day, I couldn't believe what she was doing. So I really liked horses and I miss them a lot because here in the very south of Florida, it's very hot and here on the islands we don't have any horses, police horses in Key West. Yes, they do. But they're not accessible, only for policeman. And I saw a girl and what she did on a video, she was sitting on the horse the other way around and she was doing phenomenal pirouettes with a horse and so like dressage exercises, I was, wow, what a variety. So I'm not telling you to sit the wrong way on your rowing machine, because I don't want to see how entangled you end up at the end. But maybe you want to row then on the river, you have this wonderful river there in Brisbane. So maybe you can go and row there. I'm not sure if it's allowed or not. But something that spices it up for you individually, subjectively.

Daisy 18:59

And there are ways to find out what variety means to you, so we go and look at the sub modalities, that meaning, so what does it mean to you, and then we can break that down and then can implement that into something that you would like to do, although you don't want to routine, but then it will become attractive. And then you can see it as variety. Because maybe it's a good idea to look at. Now here comes the logical part again, you see it needs to be in balance, emotional and the logical, rational part, I do believe, the mind body or the brain heart coherence, we could say, it's very important to find that balance. So maybe it will be a variety when you start creating a routine to exercise three, four times a week because it is not what you used to do.

Kathi 18:59

Mmm.

Kathi 19:48

Yeah.

Daisy 19:48

You see making the unattractive attractive and making the attractive unattractive. That's the key here.

Kathi 19:55

Yeah, I just had to bring in the other thing because I know that there's probably thousands and thousands of rebels out there just like me, who don't want to follow social norms, because that's what I'm all about not doing that. So yeah, I'm glad that we covered that. But yeah, I can see that the crux here is switching that in our brains, that if it's currently unattractive, we need to find a way to make it attractive in order to make it doable consistently.

Daisy 20:28

Yes, because you see, it will be so easy. For me, for example, I have contacts in my phone that I am not really happy if I see them and then Oh, I should call them Oh, because there are some things you don't maybe you don't want to call your, your dentist or your banker or your car mechanic or your gardener or your friend you just had an argument with, so there's some moments or some names maybe that we have a feeling attached to that, Oh, no, no, no. So but then I can also make that attractive and realize that when it needs to be done, it needs to be done. So I better then make it pleasant for me. Now, nobody forces you to make an exercise routine. But if you believe that's something that you want to achieve, then go ahead and do it. And when I know I need to call my attorney, my bank or my gardener, my dentist or the friend we just had an argument with, and I feel like I don't want to call them but then I do it. When it needs to be done, then let's get it done sooner than later. Because otherwise, I'm creating a new routine by avoiding and procrastinating.

Kathi 21:36

Oh, yes, now I was just going to bring that up. Because I know that within myself, it is a form of avoiding. It's a form of sabotaging myself, I know that. I recognize it, I see it, I acknowledge it and I actually I know I need to change it. And it's that rebeller that gets in my way, so to speak. And so I know that if I'm going through that, then I'm sure that there are a lot of other people also going through that because it takes all personalities, right. So yeah, I think it's really important that we acknowledge that,

Daisy 22:14

I can give you an example, the Patreon account that we just built on Patreon, I had that account for years. And I didn't find it attractive to put my name out there or any of my books or projects that I'm doing. I didn't find it attractive until a few of our listeners reached out to us and said, Hey, you know, I really appreciate what you're doing. I would love to invite you for a bottle of champagne. But how am I going to do that because you're on a different continent. So that made it attractive for me to give other people the joy of giving and showing their appreciation. That is how I was then able to go ahead with you, Kathi to create that Patreon account, the Bald and Blonde on Patreon so that people can show us their appreciation and their support so we can keep our shows advertisement free. And I appreciate that. Because otherwise I would be depriving people from giving, so that's not fair either.

Kathi 23:16

Yes. And we did a whole episode on that, that we released at Christmas time about giving and receiving, so make sure you go and have a listen to that one guys.

Daisy 23:27

Yeah. So you see, again, it goes down to okay, so I avoided it. I procrastinated that particular task in my life because I didn't find it important, it was not relevant for me, until I realized that it is relevant for me or for us and our podcasts and the project that we're doing here globally, by embracing the world. So I needed to shift my own mindset and now it's a routine and we're posting on there. And we're even having for a specific group of people who want to support us even more, we have there some content that we only share with those. And that's wonderful. And we appreciate it all because here's the thing. I don't want to stand in my way, by not creating a new routine.

Kathi 24:12

Yes, I mean, and that is the key here. And as we spoke about in our self-sabotage episode, it's usually us that gets in our own way, for some reason or another.

Daisy 24:24

Sure,

Kathi 24:24

and it's definitely one of the reasons I love doing this podcast so much is because even since we've started recording a few months ago, I think that I have evolved just from talking about these things with you, Daisy.

Daisy 24:39

Thank you. I'm so glad to see you grow and evolve. And I'm growing and evolving too through this because I learned how to edit these episodes and how to upload files in different formats and connecting with other podcasters, doing interviews and being invited and being asked for help. So what is the setting? How do you set your microphone? And I'm growing and evolving too and mostly, the growth is really exponential. Because here's what happens, we started with zero listeners and then you started sharing it with your friends, they're down under, I started sharing it with my friends here and there. And it's just really literally now in so many countries in this world. And now it became a routine to record even more, because in the beginning, we could have looked at oh, okay, so we're doing another podcast, okay. Or we can say, as you know what, let's do that, because this makes sense. There's a lot of variety in it.

Kathi 25:44

Yes.

Daisy 25:45

So you don't have to rebel on me, sweetheart, (laughter).

Kathi 25:46

And I do have to admit that our recording sessions are one routine that I really do find attractive and look forward to.

Daisy 25:56

Now, there's another trick. Now when you have a routine that you find attractive, then glue it together with something that you would want to make a routine. And next time when you feel like, okay, I should be exercising, because you, you said that, I didn't come up with that, so this is your own will, your free will. The next time while you may be sitting on your rowing machine, think about the podcast episodes, and that will help you too. So the mind is so wonderful and once we start realizing that we can become the master of our mind, and there are ways to do that. And they're smooth and the repetition makes it then so smooth to learn and learn more and make it into a habit. Habits create routines, routines create a lifestyle and therefore the results will show up. It's kind of logical.

Kathi 26:46

Yes.

Daisy 26:47

I hope you enjoyed this episode.

Kathi 26:49

Yes, I think it's been a really great discussion. And I do hope that it has helped everyone out there that's listening to us, rebels and non-rebels alike.

Daisy 27:00

You can still remain a rebel in one part of your life or in one section of your life. That's wonderful. It doesn't mean only because you create a routine that then you cannot rebel anymore. You see, that's also beliefs that will hold you back from creating routine.

Kathi 27:15

Yes

Daisy 27:15

Well, well, well. We hit the nail on the head.

Kathi 27:18

Yes, once again. (Laughter)

Kathi 27:22

This has been a really fun episode to record. So I hope you guys out there have had fun listening to us talk about this and we hope that you've got some value from it.

Daisy 27:33

Thank you so much for your time and listening in and we're looking forward to hearing back from you.

Kathi 27:38

Yes. So that's it for us today. Thank you for listening. We are Bold and Blonde

Daisy 27:45

Mindset Evolution.

Daisy 27:48

Thank you for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. If you love what you're hearing, please subscribe to our podcast. In our show notes, you'll find the link to our Facebook group where you can personally connect with Daisy and Kathi and the link to our website where you can find all of our previous episodes and much more of goodies so you can get more value. Please leave us a review on Apple podcast or Podchaser, that really helps out the show and helps us to get some powerful feedback from you. Talk to you soon.