SUMMARY KEYWORDS

communication, laughter, podcast, parents, share, speak, communicate, foul language, absolutely, life, person, episode, teenager, agree, listening, support, important, comment, dialogue

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:02

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the mindset evolution podcast hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are until your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:26

Hi everybody. This is Kathi Tait, the baldwarrior here talking to you live from Australia on the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. And with me as always is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys. Hi Daisy, how are you?

Daisy 00:43

Hi, I'm extremely well thank you so much for making your time in a timely manner to meet again and to do this because this is so exciting and I love doing it and I'm very busy on the other hand, of course with clients, but I just make it a priority to take that time and set it aside and don't take appointments and don't work late at night, but meet with you to make the world a better place. And this is just lovely. How are you, my dear friend?

Kathi 01:13

Wow, I love that Daisy, because we have done a whole episode around time. And we actually mentioned being on time in our last episode as well, which was on boundaries. 

Kathi 01:25

I am great Daisy. I'm having a very busy and very productive week. So I'm excited to be here also and dedicate this time to our special baby, this podcast where we get to help people out there and today, I've decided we're going to talk about communication. 

Daisy 01:43

Mmh?

Kathi 01:44

Now it is a bit of a lead on from our last episode where we spoke about boundaries. And in that episode, Daisy brought up a really important key point that I think is so important to communication that I think we're going to talk about it again briefly. In case you haven't listened to the last episode, but if you haven't guys, you must go back and do that. So before we get into that, communication to me is a two-way street. I think success in communication relies on one person being able to express themselves and the other person being willing to listen to understand. And if any of those elements aren't quite right, communication can go very wrong very fast. To bring us back to the important key point is Daisy was speaking about the first person singular and what that means within the communication framework. Can we revisit that briefly Daisy to explain what I'm talking about?

Daisy 02:49

Of course, anything. Before I go there to first person singular, let me express my okay because we're communicating right? (Laughter). Healthy communication to me is to understand and be understood without the need to be right. 

Kathi 03:05

Yes. 

Daisy 03:06

So that's a very important essential part, I'd say without the need to be right.

Kathi 03:11

Absolutely. I absolutely agree with that. 

Daisy 03:14

I'm glad you do. (Laughter) So that is one part. Then the next thing is when you say it's a two-way street, it depends on the form of communication, our listeners out there, it's a one way street to them. They are listening to us.

Kathi 03:28

That is true. And of course we address that by putting the ability to give us feedback everywhere. (Laughter)

Daisy 03:37

True, in the group and even on the website, that's brand new, because we have just amazing news, but I let Kathi pop that pop of news. 

Daisy 03:48

We want to define, okay, what is it? Is it a monologue, or is it a dialogue? Mono means okay, it's one. Those who are in the music industry are doing podcasts or recording or listening to music, you usually enjoy stereo, much more than mono. Me personally, I do, I think other music lovers as well. Once it is agreed upon that this is going to be a dialogue, then both parties should be responsible to be open both ways. 

Kathi 04:18

Yes

Daisy 04:19

So when I'm speaking, I'm the one sending a message. You can imagine now, an old fashioned envelope where I'm putting something in there that I want to send to Kathi, and then she's the receiver. Now I can actually look, is it a good time that I'm sending, is she occupied, is she in the mood? That's what I can control kind of thing by my observation. That I sent the message and then now I turn into the receiver, because you become the sender. It's like the two tennis giants, Djokovic and Federer, I know there are others out there too, but I'm still, I like Roger Federer, yes Switzerland and who is number one, these gentlemen, on and off the tennis courts, my personal applause to him. And on the tennis court, what do they do? The ball goes back and forth, so that there must be some flow in the communication. And of course, it is helpful when we speak the same language. 

Kathi 05:17

Very helpful.

Daisy 05:18

Because wenn ich jetzt mit dir auf Deutsch weiterspreche, dann verstehst du mich nicht mehr, pause, because you're trying to find any data that's related to 

Kathi 05:28

not even one word (Laughter)

Daisy 05:32

I just said in German that if I continue speaking German to you, then you would probably not understand one word of it. So I think it is helpful that we speak in a language that we can agree upon, we both understand and enjoy. 

Kathi Tait 05:46

Yes

Daisy 05:47

I can give you an example about that. My son and I, we both speak three languages, the same three languages and we switch back and forth and something and sometimes he says mom, can you say it in German, please? if he's in the mood, or if he's not in the mood to set sail in English, so that's okay. And then we can agree upon. So that's why the part of language can be really important. 

Daisy 06:09

And then the next thing is okay is the other person open to receive, because let's say you're absolutely stressed, you're late, you have two other tests to do and it's almost midnight and you're tired and you have toothache and you have headaches and you need to go use the bathroom. It's probably not an opportune moment to communicate to you about the vacation we want to take in 2025 or the retreats that we're planning on doing in Fiji next year, so it's probably not opportune. So it's my responsibility. 

Daisy 06:36

And then when we communicate, what is it, it's actually it's sharing and caring. So I share with you what's going on in my head, my thoughts. I share with you what's going on in my heart, my feelings, emotions, I share with you, maybe some of my concerns, I share with you some of my experiences and then that is the tennis, is just going back and forth. And we are not like two tennis players on the court. This is not about winning the US Open or the Australian Open, none of that, mmh?

Kathi 07:07

No 

Daisy 07:07

That's what communication is not! But the ball in this metaphor, the back and forth, that is why it's a dialogue. So let's go back to the tennis court, because communication can be healthy and we can discuss something or we can move forward, we can come to a conclusion, to an agreement or we come to laughter together, or we cry together. These are all aspects of communication. 

Kathi 07:32

Yes. 

Daisy 07:33

And the communication is only over when I put down my racket. Game over. Okay, so we discussed that there are these people they repeat themselves over and over again.

Kathi 07:43

(Whispering) I have a couple of family members. (Laughter and indistinct whispering...we agree not....not close family.) I know a couple people like that in my life that do tend to repeat themselves. 

Daisy 08:01

So what do you do then? 

Kathi 08:02

Then there was this one particular person who was just an acquaintance and I genuinely didn't know what to do because she thought she was funny. She would tell these stories and laugh at herself and it was like, she was just entertaining yourself. But she also would repeat things and tell the same stories over and over. 

Daisy 08:22

What did you do? How did you respond? 

Kathi 08:24

 I didn't hang out with her as much.

Daisy 08:26

How sad, I think.

Kathi 08:28

Yeah, because in those days, there's no way I would have confronted somebody with that in fear of hurting their feelings. Which we spoke about last episode.

Daisy 08:40

Yeah. 

Kathi Tait 08:40

Boundaries. 

Daisy 08:40

The boundaries episode

Kathi 08:41

Yeah. 

Daisy 08:41

So okay, but let's go back to communication. 

Kathi 08:44

Yes. 

Daisy 08:45

Because maybe the two of you could have had great communication had you communicated with her, that it's not that entertaining for you when she's repeating the same story over and again, so there was a lack of communication producing some problem. 

Kathi 09:01

Yeah, sure, yeah. 

Daisy 09:02

Now part of communication is also that I share with you, I help you remember that you already told me, so I can do that in a gentle way. I can say, I remember you already told me that. I help you remember what you did or didn't say.

Kathi 09:18

Yeah

Daisy 09:18

That's gentle. And maybe she could have told you some incredible life stories, or maybe laughed together or maybe laughed about her telling the same story again, because the moment when we stop communication, that's quite a statement too, isn't it? 

Kathi 09:32

Yes, it is. 

Daisy 09:33

So you see, there's so many aspects it's exciting. Communication is so important. I love it, by the way, when I see people who communicate through sign language.

Kathi 09:43

Oh, they're amazing, aren't they?

Daisy 09:45

And they can be so expressive, and it is, wow, I wish I understood, mmh?

Kathi 09:51

Yes, for sure.

Daisy 09:52

So you see, communication is very important. Now what I think is very good for all humans, be fair, choose your words wisely and remember foul language is a no go. 

Kathi 10:03

Yeah.

Daisy 10:03

I don't care where anyone acquired their talents of using foul language. It's a no go. Because the moment I add that kind of, to me personally unnecessary, spice into communication, it goes a certain way. Leave it out, try to leave it out. Actually, let me correct that. I do care where you acquired the foul language. Let's address it. Let's heal it and stop doing it because you will feel better about yourself.

Kathi 10:30

That's a great point. Daisy. Absolutely,

Daisy 10:32

Yes, I got a point. Yes. (Laughter)

Kathi 10:37

Let's give our listeners a simple communication exercise they can go home and do with someone in their family.

Daisy 10:45

First person singular. 

Daisy 10:46

Now I go back to your requests next time when you say hey, you're leaving the socks out there again, turn it around, speak what you're observing as if you were a surveillance camera. I see some socks here and I'm not really sure what I should think about that. That's a great skill. By the way, the mother of one of my teachers, she was so elegant because instead of her reacting, she always inserted that little thingy. She asked herself a question. She did this in German language. And she asked as to what should I think about that now? So she gained some time to respond instead of react. So next time you see the laundry still in the hallway, or on the floor, or on the bedroom, or the couch or wherever, just say what you're experiencing and share how it makes you feel. And then add your request what you would like instead. That's clear and then let's see what happens. Give us feedback. 

Daisy 11:38

I love that. I love that, so simple. And how about one that a teenager could do?

Daisy 11:45

A teenager? 

Kathi 11:45

Yes. 

Daisy 11:46

What would be a topic? What's the context?

Kathi 11:48

How about they have got a new boyfriend or girlfriend and the parents trying to ask about it and they don't want to talk about it, but they also don't want to cause conflict with their parent.

Daisy 12:00

Okay, so we're trying to help the parents out there or the teenager, hmm? Two different things. (Laughter)

Kathi 12:09

I don't know, I have a feeling that this will reach into some teenagers' ears, so let's do it from the teenager's point of view.

Daisy 12:16

So let's say that there is a nagging parent, hey, but tell me that so you have a girlfriend finally or you have a boyfriend now or what's going on there, is that the kind...?

Kathi 12:24

Yeah, yeah. And all the stuff that parents do around that can be very frustrating for a teenager when they just want to do their thing. 

Daisy 12:33

Explore. I think for all teenagers out there, when your parents are caring parents, they can still be annoying at times. I'm a mother myself. And so is Kathi.

Kathi 12:42

I am, yes. 

Daisy 12:43

We do really care for what you do at all times, all the time, a lifetime long. So you will not be able to outgrow this. It will not go to disappear. That's it, that's mom.

Kathi 12:56

We can both attest to that, mine's 26, yours is 28, I think?

Daisy 13:01

No sir he's just turned 30 (laughter & indistinct comments)

Kathi 13:08

It doesn't change no matter how old they get.

Daisy 13:11

Imagine that your parents care, they don't ask for nagging. They don't ask because they want to nag you, they ask probably because they're curious. They want to know what's going on in your life and they want to also be sure that you're okay, wherever you are in your life.

Kathi 13:26

Yes, it is often your safety whether it seems reasonable or not, parents worry about their kids.

Daisy 13:32

Yeah. So now as a teenager, what you can do. Let's say your parent asked you once, I would be frank, I'd say, depends if you have a new friend or not. Yes, I'm trying to figure out I really like that one person and I thought it's a wise thing to get to know them better. 

Kathi 13:47

Hey, kids say that to your parents and see if it leaves them speechless. (laughter)

Daisy 13:56

Could be.

Kathi 13:56

I think it might.

Daisy 14:00

 And then here to the parents let's... because I don't want to abandon them in this case scenario.

Kathi 14:04

No, let's help them too.

Daisy 14:05

Parents, yes. Ask them. And if you have the experience that your children are honest, sincere, then believe them. If you have a cheeky sneaky child that has the tendency to bend here a little bit or bend there a little bit, then there's a different problem involved as well, that can be addressed. When it's about, okay, let's build trust here, because you're going to be a grown up shortly and I would like to make sure that you're aware of it, how important it is for me that you're responsible human being that is sincere and can be trusted, because I want to treat you as a young adult. And in order for me to do that, I need to be able to trust you and know that when you say something to me that I can take it to the bank that it's true.

Kathi 14:49

Absolutely. And I think that is an extremely important pillar in any of our relationships, and it's especially apparent when we're talking about teenagers 'cause you go through so much as a teenager and having your parent on your side is going to make your life a lot easier. And I worked hard to build a great relationship with my son when he was a teenager, so he felt safe in coming to me with anything he was struggling with. So, you know, we want to support and encourage that.

Daisy 15:20

I think honesty is very key. That's another part of communication. Unless I'm a stand up comedian and tell you the green, the blue and the yellow from the walls, then that's my job because I'm entertaining you in that setting. But I do believe that honesty is very important, because otherwise, who am I lying to? I'm setting up already lies in the entire setting. 

Kathi 15:40

Absolutely. 

Daisy 15:41

So if I want honesty, then I better be an honest person. 

Kathi 15:44

Absolutely 

Daisy 15:44

Agreed?

Kathi 15:45

Yes, absolutely. Definitely another pillar. 

Daisy 15:48

And I want to say I honestly appreciate our supporters. Thank you so much. Really, that's wonderful. Thank you, what a nice gesture to share with us that you appreciate what you're doing and your comments as well with the support, so that we can keep up with our technical stuff here and the staff.

Kathi 16:04

Yes.

Daisy 16:05

That's wonderful, thanks so much.

Kathi 16:07

We're very thankful for everyone out there who's supported us in all the ways they can. And actually we have a little announcement today we have... 

Daisy 16:16

Bring it on! 

Kathi 16:19

We have just launched our website, the home of the Bald and Blonde podcast and the address is baldandblonde.live. So you can head over there and check out information about Daisy and I and our backgrounds and to get access to all the other things that we do. Plus we have special write-ups on each episode, the ability to listen right there on the website, and so much more. We are going to produce special podcast packs for every episode we do that helps you dive deeper into the topic, into the lessons we discuss and give you some exercises that you can actually do at home. So we're really excited. Every episode that has been published to date has a podcast pack there for you to go and download today. So check it out!

Daisy 17:15

That's wonderful, so much effort in that and I believe this is the future of learning because you can go precisely to topic and you can dive in deeper, you can share, you can learn something, change your own life, create the life you really dream of. That's why it's called Dream Life Creators on Facebook in the group and we share a lot of specials there that are dear to us. And you can get to know us a little bit closer as we are sharing some personal insights and we share some live videos and we say hello to everyone. And if you have a question just come on and ask us because we believe that it's part of communication to ask questions.

Kathi 17:54

Absolutely. And that group is designed to be there to support you guys with what you're going through and help you create change in your life. So we do urge you to come on over and join us and get to know Daisy and I much better as there's a lot of stuff happening in there that you will not see anywhere else. So we're going to wrap it up for our episode on communication there today. And we thank you for your time, your support and please do get in touch with us if there's anything you'd like to say. We love feedback. And don't forget to hit subscribe on your favorite podcast listening platform.

Daisy 18:32

That is wonderful. Exactly and share because we share so much with you. So you're welcome to share with us. Thank you so much for listening and talk to you soon. 

Kathi 18:42

See you next time. 

Daisy 18:43

Bye. 

Daisy 18:44

Thank you so much for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde mindset evolution podcast. Make sure you like our podcast, comment and leave us a five-star review. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you consume podcasts. Share with your friends and loved ones. Leave a comment and reach out to us with questions and how we can help you change your life. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Talk to you next time.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS 

social norms, norm, people, human, skin pigmentation, genetic lottery, person, australia, normal, born, pressure, children, specific, theater, world, laughter, behave, episode, culture

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:02

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the Mindset Evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are. And here are your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:27

And Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution, I'm Kathi Tait, the baldwarrier, your host from Australia. And with me is Daisy Papp, your host from Florida Keys. Hi, Daisy.

Daisy 00:43

Hi, Kathi. Hello, world hello, future and hello past.

Kathi 00:49

We are embracing the globe. That is what we do, all the time zones. Yes,

Daisy 00:54

that's so wonderful, love doing that.

Kathi 00:56

So Daisy, we have a really great topic today that I have been busting to talk about, because it's one of my purposes with the baldwarrior movement. So the topic today is social norms. I really want to get into it in today's episode, because it's so important to me and what I feel had a very strong effect on me my whole life was having to live up to these social norms around body image and beauty. And I wanted so much to look normal and feel like everybody else that I hid myself under wigs, for 30 years. When I look back at some of the things I did, I just, I can't believe it now. And I know also that there are millions of women out there doing it right now.

Daisy 01:47

Sure, sure. I did it. I did it a different way, but yes, I did it.

Kathi 01:52

Yes

Daisy 01:52

Social norms. What a great topic. Thank you for throwing that one on me. It's very exciting. Social norms. Let's start with one part of it. What is normal?

Kathi 02:02

Yes, great point.

Daisy 02:05

So let's start here. So what is normal? And based on what? Because that's where we lead them to the social norms. So what is normal is something that on average, fits into a specific box,

Kathi 02:19

yes,

Daisy 02:19

in a specific place of time, era, tradition, culture. And now let's start with me. I was born in Germany, some moons ago. And in that time of age, it was very unusual that a German woman would marry a Hungarian man who was my father, that was already almost out of the norm. And then my mom expected me to be a boy. And then da dada da da,

Kathi 02:49

not a boy,

Daisy 02:50

the bundle of joy. No, the bundle of joy arrived. And here I was. And my mom did not have a girl's name because she didn't even think about it

Kathi 03:01

Oh?

Daisy 03:02

So now, you know that Daisy is not really a German name.

Kathi 03:06

I hadn't actually thought about that. But yes, I guess you're right.

Daisy 03:10

Back in those days, the child of a German mother and a Hungarian father and an English first name. That was unheard of.

Kathi 03:21

Wow.

Daisy 03:21

And for me, that was the norm because everyone called me Daisy. Then I started to write, I started learning how to letters to draw and so forth. And then the Y, I always liked the Y at the end, because it's such a rare letter. You don't really see it oftentimes in a German paper or a book or something like that. And then I went to kindergarten, and then all the children were there to write down their names, and nobody could read my name. What's that? I said, Daisy, I never heard of that. How can you be called Daisy Duck?

Daisy 03:52

So duck, boom.

Daisy 03:55

So I was Daisy Duck. Now my last name is Papp by sound, Daisy Duck or Daisy Papp, there's a little similarity. And then, because of that, I got the belief, oh, my goodness, now I look like a duck. And then I went in front of the mirror, right and looked at my lips, but that we're not ducky at all. They're still not.

Daisy 04:16

And then I looked at my booty. Is it the kind of ducky? I was born in an era completely under circumstances out of the norm!

Kathi 04:25

Yeah.

Daisy 04:25

Now on top of that, my father was an inventor and was ahead of time with all his really security devices and so forth electronic toys that we had at home, the hands and the radios switched on, or you walk by and the lights switched on. I'm talking early 1970. Just before you were born, sweetie,

Kathi 04:42

Way ahead of his time.

Daisy 04:44

And so that was un-normal. And in the neighborhood, we were not fitting so well in the norm. But now let's go back, what's normal? And who says it's normal?

Kathi 04:54

Yes.

Daisy 04:55

The peer pressure, right?

Kathi 04:57

Yes, yes, absolutely. It does come back to that, I think because you're right when you say what is normal, and it's the average. So that means that if you have 100 people, then half of them are going to behave in this similar way. And that becomes the norm.

Daisy 05:17

Mm hmm

Kathi 05:17

Whereas there's always gonna be people on the extremes, people that aren't like the norm, whether by choice or not, there are people that are outside the norms. And that was what I struggled with, because for me, it was not by choice.

Daisy 05:34

Yes.

Kathi 05:35

And I felt powerless to it. And the only way I could try and take my power back at the time was to look as much like the norm as I could. And that's what I thought was the right thing to do. In fact, it was the opposite of what was the right thing to do for me; I finally figured that out, of course.

Daisy 05:57

I'm so glad that you did. Because in the past, you adjusted, you wanted to adjust and be more like them to fit in.

Kathi 06:05

I wanted to fit in, because I'd never fit in, because I have, of course, my own childhood story of social norms. And not only did I look different because of a hair loss and was teased. And so I had that element, I was also being experimented on by doctors,

Daisy 06:24

that is horrible

Kathi 06:24

to try & fix me. So that was another whole element to the mindset that I was a freak. I believed that about myself. What a horrible thing for a little person to grow up believing.

Daisy 06:35

Horrible, horrible.

Kathi 06:37

You know and I couldn't articulate that thought.

Daisy 06:40

No,

Kathi 06:40

let alone share it with an adult to help me through it. But it's rooted in social norms.

Daisy 06:47

Mmm, yes

Kathi 06:47

and peer pressure and people not accepting others for the way they are but wanting them to be a different way. For what? To satisfy what they think is normal.

Daisy 06:59

Yes. And now here comes the point. So what is normal, I would like to go into different culture for a moment. So in India, they have one specific hand with which they eat when they don't use silverware, there are specific areas, and that's the norm. Now, you and I in the Western world, although you are east of India, or southeast of India, but in the Western world, we think that's not normal. But for them, that's very normal. So therefore, it becomes already clear that these social norms are artificial. It's not something like that is ruled like gravity.

Kathi 07:37

Right!

Daisy 07:38

You have gravity in Australia.

Kathi 07:40

Yes

Daisy 07:40

We have it in India, we have it here in the Florida Keys. We have it in Seattle, we have it everywhere, Hawaii, Germany,

Kathi 07:47

which further means they're created by man. And it's localized to their neighborhood, to their culture, to their community,

Daisy 07:54

Mm hmm

Kathi 07:55

but also spreads further to the country, the nation.

Daisy 07:59

Yes, I'm so with you on that. Breaking social norms or bridging. I'm not so much about breaking, I'm always about building bridges. That's my attitude. So instead of judging the other way they do what they're doing, why they do what they do, have a look and ask questions. Now when I ask questions, I get data.

Kathi 08:20

Yes.

Daisy 08:20

 And then I can form an opinion.

Kathi 08:22

Yes, for sure.

Daisy 08:24

An acquaintance of mine, growing up here in the United States and he was raised in an area that was extremely racist. And he as a child he never understood. And for him, it was horrible,

Kathi 08:37

of course.

Daisy 08:38

And when he grew up, he really looked into that and he said, this is not right. And he is the most embracing person I know, in my closer field of acquaintances.

Kathi 08:49

Yeah

Daisy 08:50

He's open.

Kathi 08:51

Yeah.

Daisy 08:52

So I would go back even further. When you were born, did you choose your eye color, skin pigmentation, height, your genetics?

Kathi 09:02

Well, no I kind of think that's a bit of a genetic lottery, isn't it?

Daisy 09:06

You got it from your parents, right? Genetically.

Kathi 09:08

Yeah,

Daisy 09:09

But you didn't choose it. You Kathi did not choose it.

Kathi 09:11

No, no.

Daisy 09:12

So therefore you Kathi did not choose to lose your hair.

Kathi 09:16

No, I did not.

Daisy 09:17

Oh, okay. So that's great news. So therefore, how can you possibly be judged when you lose your hair? I know that humans out there are different, but it's the peer pressure. Because everything that is not the norm, now let's go back to the reptilian brain for a second, everything that's outside of the norm could be a threat.

Kathi 09:37

Yes, that's right. It creates fear. And I'm sure that was part of it in the teasing is that other children, if they're scared or unsure or uncertain of something, their instinct is to make a joke about it. And that's just what children do. And as an adult, it's very easy to understand that and to look back and see that a lot of what affected me, had I the knowledge I have now, it wouldn't have. I think that part of these things happening to us is certainly a journey in learning about yourself and others. But I also think it's important to address that social norms are often unreasonable. And for those people on the extremes especially, have a hard time coping with them, because of whatever it is for them. For me, it was my hair for you, you had a funny mix of parents and an English name where it was unheard of. And for somebody else, it will be whatever it is for them. And I think that the only way to change these things is to change it at community level. And that's the point I want to make is that we can accept that there are these social norms, or we can ask questions, we can be talking to people, we can be teaching people, think outside of these norms, let's not be sheep any longer.

Daisy 11:07

Mmm hmm

Kathi 11:07

We have these brains, let's teach our children to use their brains and not learn by rote. Oh, for God's sake, somebody's got to change. That's a whole another episode, isn't it? (Laughter)

Daisy 11:18

I think it goes back. What can parents teach their children? Only what they already know and now you hit the nail on the head, because it's about education.

Kathi 11:27

Yeah.

Daisy 11:27

Now, the more educated people get and become, and today, ignorance is a choice.

Kathi 11:34

That's right. Information is much freer than it's ever been in our history, right now. So I think you're right, unless you absolutely had no access to any technology.

Daisy 11:46

That's possible too.

Kathi 11:48

Then other than that, then yes, I think that ignorance is a choice. Yes.

Daisy 11:54

So and therefore, I think when we start educating people, not you and I, but we as a human community, we start sharing our own experience. And then we also listen and receive more knowledge. And then we can brainstorm about it. And then we can understand it. When I wrote the book, The Island Model that's exactly about that. Why are other people doing things the way they do it? And why do I do things the way I do it? And who says the one is better than the other?

Kathi 12:25

Yeah

Daisy 12:25

No one can really judge that.

Kathi 12:27

Yes.

Daisy 12:27

Because in specific cultures or in specific geographics, specific habits are the norm.

Kathi 12:34

Yeah

Daisy 12:35

Look, here people walk in flip flops all day long, even when they could dress up kind of nicer. But here people go fishing, they go snorkeling, they go diving, they go to the beach, it's warm. It's hot. We have 360 days, sunny days, probably maybe it's only 340. Okay, I was exaggerating. But here the norm is oh, here this is the normal you can go with flip flops to the theater. For me, this is unconscionable.

Kathi 12:59

Oh, it's the norm in Australia too; like we don't call them flip flops. We have a real name for them. (Laughter) But yeah, they're the norm here too.

Daisy 13:09

 Sandals.

Kathi 13:10

No thongs, sandals are different.

Daisy 13:14

Okay. Okay, thongs. Okay. So in Germany, they don't allow you into the theater unless it's maybe somewhere where it's an open-air thing. No, you dress up for the theater, you dress up because the people who were rehearsing for months to create this play and put it on stage, we honor them.

Kathi 13:33

Yeah.

Daisy 13:34

So for me, it was really interesting. We have this cute little community theater here and I like to volunteer to support the culture that we have. And so I went and volunteered and I looked at the men, especially with shorts, fishing shirts, and flip flops, (thongs in Australia, laughter). They, go to the theater. But let's look beyond that, beyond that social norms. At the end of the day, what really matters is a person has a good heart, or they do not have a good heart. If they're people with a good heart, does it really matter at the end of the day if they're wearing thongs or flip flops? If they have hair or don't have hair? Do they have teeth or don't have teeth? Are they short? Are they tall? Whatever their skin pigmentation is? Do they have blue eyes? green eyes, black eyes? No, it does not really matter?

Kathi 13:44

Of course not, because it's a genetic lottery. We all get what we get.

Daisy 13:45

That's it.

Kathi 13:47

And there's not much we can do about that. Yeah.

Daisy 13:50

But even what happens later on in life, let's say a person had an accident, and now they have only one leg left. And then okay, something must have happened to them.

Kathi 14:37

Yes, I would even venture to say that trauma probably made them a better person. Because trauma does tend to evolve us.

Daisy 14:46

Yeah, oftentimes.

Kathi 14:48

But we're off track, social norms. I think it's a really interesting conversation, especially to have with our families. And I urge you out there listeners, to do that, to talk with your kids and your friends and your loved ones about social norms and encourage others to have open minds, because you don't know what's really going on sometimes in people's lives. I know that when children are bullied they often never say anything, when teenagers being peer pressured, really rare for them to tell their parents. So have these conversations within the family.

Daisy 15:28

Also question, ask questions, ask the question in your own head. So where do social norms actually come from? Why do I do that? Because everybody did it? So start asking and start investigating, why other things the way they are? Why do we celebrate this, but we don't celebrate that? Why do others don't celebrate anything? Then it's okay and we can all be peaceful with the beautiful differences. We just play on this beautiful, colorful Earth.

Kathi 15:59

I think that's a big part of the beauty.

Daisy 16:02

Absolutely.

Kathi 16:03

The beauty of the Earth is how unique and varied we are, like we're quite amazing if you take a step back from the human species for a minute, and look at us, we're a multitude of variation. It's incredible, how different, but similar we can be. And I think that differences should be celebrated and not feared. And I think that's probably a huge part of what needs to be changed in the world.

Daisy 16:34

I do believe that the root of it is when we go down, really, there will be another episode. But when we go down to love, am I behaving in a loving way? And if I'm behaving in a loving way, no matter if somebody is walking towards me, with hair, without hair, with one leg, or no legs in a wheelchair, or somebody comes on a horse, or somebody comes on a Harley, or... then it does not matter anymore. When I'm behaving as the human being, the generous, gentle, creative genius human being I was born to be, when I can behave that way, then social norms will not be a pressure anymore. Then of course, when I go to the opera, I'm going to choose my outfit accordingly. But I don't do it because of them. I do it for me.

Kathi 17:17

Yes,

Daisy 17:18

to honor the event.

Kathi 17:21

Yeah, absolutely. And on my side of that I tattooed my head for me, I didn't do it to make a statement to the world. I did it because I wanted to do it for myself. It was part of my own journey. And the fact that people take it another way is fine, because it starts the conversation.

Daisy 17:42

And again, when they asked you a question, you're an open book,

Kathi 17:46

yes,

Daisy 17:46

you're happy to share?

Kathi 17:48

Yes.

Daisy 17:48

So now those who listen to us, and those who know Kathi or have seen her, are members in our Facebook group, the Dream Life Creators, you already have built a relation with Kathi, but those out there who listened to us for the first time go and have a look. And would you have ever thought how Kathi looks like or how I look like because there's reason why we call Bald and Blonde, right? (Laughter)

Daisy 18:13

Inside of us, inside the shell that we call body, can be so many treasures, and they can be found. And I do believe if we put that on a high task and say, okay, I'm going to dig for the treasures that are in this other person, instead of using prejudice, because this person looks like that, or this person works here, or the other person does not work. Human to human. Let's go to the basics. There's this researcher, he's a Brazilian, I forgot his name and he made research about human needs, globally.

Kathi 18:47

Yeah,

Daisy 18:48

And these human needs are everywhere, the same! No matter was it in Brazil, was it in Australia, was it in Asia, was it in Alaska! No matter was it male or female! No matter the age group! Hmm?

Kathi 19:04

Yeah.

Daisy 19:04

There are specific human needs, they're all the same and when we look at them and focus on that, and then we can still decide, okay, I want to participate in this tradition or in this cultural society, then I freely choose to do it. But then it's not a pressure anymore.

Kathi 19:23

Yeah.

Daisy 19:23

That's how we can flip it around.

Kathi 19:25

Yeah, absolutely. Because I'm not trying to say that all social norms are bad, I'm just trying to open the discussion, because I think a lot of them put pressure on people and we don't realize, because we're so used to them, because that's what norms are. They're normal, they're our ordinary. And when it isn't that easy for somebody, it can be a real struggle, and often our struggles are silent.

Daisy 19:53

Mm hmm

Kathi 19:53

So let's make sure we talk.

Daisy 19:56

Yeah

Kathi 19:56

Let's talk and connect with each other.

Daisy 19:59

And investigate, ask questions and you are the one, every single one out there, can be the one who starts asking questions to themselves and then start to search for answers.

Kathi 20:11

Yes.

Daisy 20:13

And only then you can spread it into the world, then you can teach it, then you can put it out as a

discussion.

Kathi 20:18

Yeah

Daisy 20:19

Really? Why do people have to do that when they're 14? Why do the 16 years old need to do that, but the media also plays a big role in that. But we can also disconnect from this pressure by strengthening our inner self, the inner world.

Kathi 20:33

Yes, and actually, I'm glad you mentioned that, because the media does play a very big role, and especially within the body image social norm that I struggled with. And I think that we're finally seeing some changes, but I still think that we have a ways to go and we need to encourage our daughters and sons, to be confident and to be people and not to focus on how we look and how we dress and fashion and all the shallow things, I really want to help you guys out there grow up the next generation to be people who care about each other in the world. And let's really raise a generation of thinkers and doers and people who will evolve the human race because we can't keep going the way we are. And of course, that's a whole another subject as well.

Daisy 21:30

Yes. And when we look inside, and we start identifying ourselves with our behavior, then it doesn't matter if you're walking in the Gucci shoes, or with the Louis Vuitton handbag or you arrive with your private jet, you arrive with your bicycle with no shoes, because you don't own any. Because when we look at the behavior, then we can distance ourselves that I need to have that handbag to be cool, or I need to have that specific card to be in, or to be accepted. No, behavior is all that matters. Behavior is all that matters, period. That's my social norm.

Kathi 22:07

I agree, Daisy. And on that note, I think we'll end today's episode. And also point everybody back at Episode One, "Who Am I" because that really goes deep into what Daisy just said about how you behave, who you are is how you behave. And it's such an important topic. So if you haven't listened to Episode One, jump in there, and listen now.

Kathi 22:31

Thanks for your support out there, guys. Thanks to all our listeners. Thanks to all of those of you who have sent us financial backing, we are most appreciative of your support, and it allows us to keep making these episodes for you guys.

Daisy 22:48

Yeah.

Kathi 22:48

So make sure you share with your family and friends. And thanks for your time, we appreciate you very much.

Daisy 22:55

Thank you so much. And it's so lovely to see that we are growing and growing. And so many more countries come every week, there's another country showing up where they listen to our episodes. And thank you for the support even by spreading the word because I truly believe that with a mindset evolution, that is the evolution that humanity truly needs. And this is how we can make the world a better place starting with ourselves and our own genius, brilliant mind. And therefore when we become brain users, we might inspire other brain owners to also become brain users.

Kathi 23:29

I love that. That's beautiful. Thanks for listening, everybody. We are Bald and Blonde

Daisy 23:36

Mindset Evolution.

Kathi 23:37

Talk to you soon.

Daisy 23:38

Bye.

Daisy 23:41

Thank you for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. If you love what you're hearing, please subscribe to our podcast. In our show notes, you can find the link to our Facebook group where you can personally connect with Daisy and Kathi and the link to our website where you can find all of our previous episodes and much more of goodies so you can get the most value. Please leave us a review on Apple podcasts, that really helps out the show and helps us to get some powerful feedback from you. Thank you so much for listening. Talk to you soon.