SUMMARY KEYWORDS

communication, laughter, podcast, parents, share, speak, communicate, foul language, absolutely, life, person, episode, teenager, agree, listening, support, important, comment, dialogue

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:02

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the mindset evolution podcast hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are until your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:26

Hi everybody. This is Kathi Tait, the baldwarrior here talking to you live from Australia on the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. And with me as always is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys. Hi Daisy, how are you?

Daisy 00:43

Hi, I'm extremely well thank you so much for making your time in a timely manner to meet again and to do this because this is so exciting and I love doing it and I'm very busy on the other hand, of course with clients, but I just make it a priority to take that time and set it aside and don't take appointments and don't work late at night, but meet with you to make the world a better place. And this is just lovely. How are you, my dear friend?

Kathi 01:13

Wow, I love that Daisy, because we have done a whole episode around time. And we actually mentioned being on time in our last episode as well, which was on boundaries. 

Kathi 01:25

I am great Daisy. I'm having a very busy and very productive week. So I'm excited to be here also and dedicate this time to our special baby, this podcast where we get to help people out there and today, I've decided we're going to talk about communication. 

Daisy 01:43

Mmh?

Kathi 01:44

Now it is a bit of a lead on from our last episode where we spoke about boundaries. And in that episode, Daisy brought up a really important key point that I think is so important to communication that I think we're going to talk about it again briefly. In case you haven't listened to the last episode, but if you haven't guys, you must go back and do that. So before we get into that, communication to me is a two-way street. I think success in communication relies on one person being able to express themselves and the other person being willing to listen to understand. And if any of those elements aren't quite right, communication can go very wrong very fast. To bring us back to the important key point is Daisy was speaking about the first person singular and what that means within the communication framework. Can we revisit that briefly Daisy to explain what I'm talking about?

Daisy 02:49

Of course, anything. Before I go there to first person singular, let me express my okay because we're communicating right? (Laughter). Healthy communication to me is to understand and be understood without the need to be right. 

Kathi 03:05

Yes. 

Daisy 03:06

So that's a very important essential part, I'd say without the need to be right.

Kathi 03:11

Absolutely. I absolutely agree with that. 

Daisy 03:14

I'm glad you do. (Laughter) So that is one part. Then the next thing is when you say it's a two-way street, it depends on the form of communication, our listeners out there, it's a one way street to them. They are listening to us.

Kathi 03:28

That is true. And of course we address that by putting the ability to give us feedback everywhere. (Laughter)

Daisy 03:37

True, in the group and even on the website, that's brand new, because we have just amazing news, but I let Kathi pop that pop of news. 

Daisy 03:48

We want to define, okay, what is it? Is it a monologue, or is it a dialogue? Mono means okay, it's one. Those who are in the music industry are doing podcasts or recording or listening to music, you usually enjoy stereo, much more than mono. Me personally, I do, I think other music lovers as well. Once it is agreed upon that this is going to be a dialogue, then both parties should be responsible to be open both ways. 

Kathi 04:18

Yes

Daisy 04:19

So when I'm speaking, I'm the one sending a message. You can imagine now, an old fashioned envelope where I'm putting something in there that I want to send to Kathi, and then she's the receiver. Now I can actually look, is it a good time that I'm sending, is she occupied, is she in the mood? That's what I can control kind of thing by my observation. That I sent the message and then now I turn into the receiver, because you become the sender. It's like the two tennis giants, Djokovic and Federer, I know there are others out there too, but I'm still, I like Roger Federer, yes Switzerland and who is number one, these gentlemen, on and off the tennis courts, my personal applause to him. And on the tennis court, what do they do? The ball goes back and forth, so that there must be some flow in the communication. And of course, it is helpful when we speak the same language. 

Kathi 05:17

Very helpful.

Daisy 05:18

Because wenn ich jetzt mit dir auf Deutsch weiterspreche, dann verstehst du mich nicht mehr, pause, because you're trying to find any data that's related to 

Kathi 05:28

not even one word (Laughter)

Daisy 05:32

I just said in German that if I continue speaking German to you, then you would probably not understand one word of it. So I think it is helpful that we speak in a language that we can agree upon, we both understand and enjoy. 

Kathi Tait 05:46

Yes

Daisy 05:47

I can give you an example about that. My son and I, we both speak three languages, the same three languages and we switch back and forth and something and sometimes he says mom, can you say it in German, please? if he's in the mood, or if he's not in the mood to set sail in English, so that's okay. And then we can agree upon. So that's why the part of language can be really important. 

Daisy 06:09

And then the next thing is okay is the other person open to receive, because let's say you're absolutely stressed, you're late, you have two other tests to do and it's almost midnight and you're tired and you have toothache and you have headaches and you need to go use the bathroom. It's probably not an opportune moment to communicate to you about the vacation we want to take in 2025 or the retreats that we're planning on doing in Fiji next year, so it's probably not opportune. So it's my responsibility. 

Daisy 06:36

And then when we communicate, what is it, it's actually it's sharing and caring. So I share with you what's going on in my head, my thoughts. I share with you what's going on in my heart, my feelings, emotions, I share with you, maybe some of my concerns, I share with you some of my experiences and then that is the tennis, is just going back and forth. And we are not like two tennis players on the court. This is not about winning the US Open or the Australian Open, none of that, mmh?

Kathi 07:07

No 

Daisy 07:07

That's what communication is not! But the ball in this metaphor, the back and forth, that is why it's a dialogue. So let's go back to the tennis court, because communication can be healthy and we can discuss something or we can move forward, we can come to a conclusion, to an agreement or we come to laughter together, or we cry together. These are all aspects of communication. 

Kathi 07:32

Yes. 

Daisy 07:33

And the communication is only over when I put down my racket. Game over. Okay, so we discussed that there are these people they repeat themselves over and over again.

Kathi 07:43

(Whispering) I have a couple of family members. (Laughter and indistinct whispering...we agree not....not close family.) I know a couple people like that in my life that do tend to repeat themselves. 

Daisy 08:01

So what do you do then? 

Kathi 08:02

Then there was this one particular person who was just an acquaintance and I genuinely didn't know what to do because she thought she was funny. She would tell these stories and laugh at herself and it was like, she was just entertaining yourself. But she also would repeat things and tell the same stories over and over. 

Daisy 08:22

What did you do? How did you respond? 

Kathi 08:24

 I didn't hang out with her as much.

Daisy 08:26

How sad, I think.

Kathi 08:28

Yeah, because in those days, there's no way I would have confronted somebody with that in fear of hurting their feelings. Which we spoke about last episode.

Daisy 08:40

Yeah. 

Kathi Tait 08:40

Boundaries. 

Daisy 08:40

The boundaries episode

Kathi 08:41

Yeah. 

Daisy 08:41

So okay, but let's go back to communication. 

Kathi 08:44

Yes. 

Daisy 08:45

Because maybe the two of you could have had great communication had you communicated with her, that it's not that entertaining for you when she's repeating the same story over and again, so there was a lack of communication producing some problem. 

Kathi 09:01

Yeah, sure, yeah. 

Daisy 09:02

Now part of communication is also that I share with you, I help you remember that you already told me, so I can do that in a gentle way. I can say, I remember you already told me that. I help you remember what you did or didn't say.

Kathi 09:18

Yeah

Daisy 09:18

That's gentle. And maybe she could have told you some incredible life stories, or maybe laughed together or maybe laughed about her telling the same story again, because the moment when we stop communication, that's quite a statement too, isn't it? 

Kathi 09:32

Yes, it is. 

Daisy 09:33

So you see, there's so many aspects it's exciting. Communication is so important. I love it, by the way, when I see people who communicate through sign language.

Kathi 09:43

Oh, they're amazing, aren't they?

Daisy 09:45

And they can be so expressive, and it is, wow, I wish I understood, mmh?

Kathi 09:51

Yes, for sure.

Daisy 09:52

So you see, communication is very important. Now what I think is very good for all humans, be fair, choose your words wisely and remember foul language is a no go. 

Kathi 10:03

Yeah.

Daisy 10:03

I don't care where anyone acquired their talents of using foul language. It's a no go. Because the moment I add that kind of, to me personally unnecessary, spice into communication, it goes a certain way. Leave it out, try to leave it out. Actually, let me correct that. I do care where you acquired the foul language. Let's address it. Let's heal it and stop doing it because you will feel better about yourself.

Kathi 10:30

That's a great point. Daisy. Absolutely,

Daisy 10:32

Yes, I got a point. Yes. (Laughter)

Kathi 10:37

Let's give our listeners a simple communication exercise they can go home and do with someone in their family.

Daisy 10:45

First person singular. 

Daisy 10:46

Now I go back to your requests next time when you say hey, you're leaving the socks out there again, turn it around, speak what you're observing as if you were a surveillance camera. I see some socks here and I'm not really sure what I should think about that. That's a great skill. By the way, the mother of one of my teachers, she was so elegant because instead of her reacting, she always inserted that little thingy. She asked herself a question. She did this in German language. And she asked as to what should I think about that now? So she gained some time to respond instead of react. So next time you see the laundry still in the hallway, or on the floor, or on the bedroom, or the couch or wherever, just say what you're experiencing and share how it makes you feel. And then add your request what you would like instead. That's clear and then let's see what happens. Give us feedback. 

Daisy 11:38

I love that. I love that, so simple. And how about one that a teenager could do?

Daisy 11:45

A teenager? 

Kathi 11:45

Yes. 

Daisy 11:46

What would be a topic? What's the context?

Kathi 11:48

How about they have got a new boyfriend or girlfriend and the parents trying to ask about it and they don't want to talk about it, but they also don't want to cause conflict with their parent.

Daisy 12:00

Okay, so we're trying to help the parents out there or the teenager, hmm? Two different things. (Laughter)

Kathi 12:09

I don't know, I have a feeling that this will reach into some teenagers' ears, so let's do it from the teenager's point of view.

Daisy 12:16

So let's say that there is a nagging parent, hey, but tell me that so you have a girlfriend finally or you have a boyfriend now or what's going on there, is that the kind...?

Kathi 12:24

Yeah, yeah. And all the stuff that parents do around that can be very frustrating for a teenager when they just want to do their thing. 

Daisy 12:33

Explore. I think for all teenagers out there, when your parents are caring parents, they can still be annoying at times. I'm a mother myself. And so is Kathi.

Kathi 12:42

I am, yes. 

Daisy 12:43

We do really care for what you do at all times, all the time, a lifetime long. So you will not be able to outgrow this. It will not go to disappear. That's it, that's mom.

Kathi 12:56

We can both attest to that, mine's 26, yours is 28, I think?

Daisy 13:01

No sir he's just turned 30 (laughter & indistinct comments)

Kathi 13:08

It doesn't change no matter how old they get.

Daisy 13:11

Imagine that your parents care, they don't ask for nagging. They don't ask because they want to nag you, they ask probably because they're curious. They want to know what's going on in your life and they want to also be sure that you're okay, wherever you are in your life.

Kathi 13:26

Yes, it is often your safety whether it seems reasonable or not, parents worry about their kids.

Daisy 13:32

Yeah. So now as a teenager, what you can do. Let's say your parent asked you once, I would be frank, I'd say, depends if you have a new friend or not. Yes, I'm trying to figure out I really like that one person and I thought it's a wise thing to get to know them better. 

Kathi 13:47

Hey, kids say that to your parents and see if it leaves them speechless. (laughter)

Daisy 13:56

Could be.

Kathi 13:56

I think it might.

Daisy 14:00

 And then here to the parents let's... because I don't want to abandon them in this case scenario.

Kathi 14:04

No, let's help them too.

Daisy 14:05

Parents, yes. Ask them. And if you have the experience that your children are honest, sincere, then believe them. If you have a cheeky sneaky child that has the tendency to bend here a little bit or bend there a little bit, then there's a different problem involved as well, that can be addressed. When it's about, okay, let's build trust here, because you're going to be a grown up shortly and I would like to make sure that you're aware of it, how important it is for me that you're responsible human being that is sincere and can be trusted, because I want to treat you as a young adult. And in order for me to do that, I need to be able to trust you and know that when you say something to me that I can take it to the bank that it's true.

Kathi 14:49

Absolutely. And I think that is an extremely important pillar in any of our relationships, and it's especially apparent when we're talking about teenagers 'cause you go through so much as a teenager and having your parent on your side is going to make your life a lot easier. And I worked hard to build a great relationship with my son when he was a teenager, so he felt safe in coming to me with anything he was struggling with. So, you know, we want to support and encourage that.

Daisy 15:20

I think honesty is very key. That's another part of communication. Unless I'm a stand up comedian and tell you the green, the blue and the yellow from the walls, then that's my job because I'm entertaining you in that setting. But I do believe that honesty is very important, because otherwise, who am I lying to? I'm setting up already lies in the entire setting. 

Kathi 15:40

Absolutely. 

Daisy 15:41

So if I want honesty, then I better be an honest person. 

Kathi 15:44

Absolutely 

Daisy 15:44

Agreed?

Kathi 15:45

Yes, absolutely. Definitely another pillar. 

Daisy 15:48

And I want to say I honestly appreciate our supporters. Thank you so much. Really, that's wonderful. Thank you, what a nice gesture to share with us that you appreciate what you're doing and your comments as well with the support, so that we can keep up with our technical stuff here and the staff.

Kathi 16:04

Yes.

Daisy 16:05

That's wonderful, thanks so much.

Kathi 16:07

We're very thankful for everyone out there who's supported us in all the ways they can. And actually we have a little announcement today we have... 

Daisy 16:16

Bring it on! 

Kathi 16:19

We have just launched our website, the home of the Bald and Blonde podcast and the address is baldandblonde.live. So you can head over there and check out information about Daisy and I and our backgrounds and to get access to all the other things that we do. Plus we have special write-ups on each episode, the ability to listen right there on the website, and so much more. We are going to produce special podcast packs for every episode we do that helps you dive deeper into the topic, into the lessons we discuss and give you some exercises that you can actually do at home. So we're really excited. Every episode that has been published to date has a podcast pack there for you to go and download today. So check it out!

Daisy 17:15

That's wonderful, so much effort in that and I believe this is the future of learning because you can go precisely to topic and you can dive in deeper, you can share, you can learn something, change your own life, create the life you really dream of. That's why it's called Dream Life Creators on Facebook in the group and we share a lot of specials there that are dear to us. And you can get to know us a little bit closer as we are sharing some personal insights and we share some live videos and we say hello to everyone. And if you have a question just come on and ask us because we believe that it's part of communication to ask questions.

Kathi 17:54

Absolutely. And that group is designed to be there to support you guys with what you're going through and help you create change in your life. So we do urge you to come on over and join us and get to know Daisy and I much better as there's a lot of stuff happening in there that you will not see anywhere else. So we're going to wrap it up for our episode on communication there today. And we thank you for your time, your support and please do get in touch with us if there's anything you'd like to say. We love feedback. And don't forget to hit subscribe on your favorite podcast listening platform.

Daisy 18:32

That is wonderful. Exactly and share because we share so much with you. So you're welcome to share with us. Thank you so much for listening and talk to you soon. 

Kathi 18:42

See you next time. 

Daisy 18:43

Bye. 

Daisy 18:44

Thank you so much for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde mindset evolution podcast. Make sure you like our podcast, comment and leave us a five-star review. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you consume podcasts. Share with your friends and loved ones. Leave a comment and reach out to us with questions and how we can help you change your life. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Talk to you next time.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS 

memory, people, remember, pink roses, podcast, pink, life, choose, laughter, create, ferrari, photographic memory, countries, color, phenomenal, attitude, reconstruct, vase, reach

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:02

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the Mindset Evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are. And here are your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:27

Hello, everybody and welcome to another episode of Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution. I'm Kathi Tait, the baldwarrior from Australia and with me is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys. Hi, Daisy.

Daisy 00:41

Hi, Kathi. How are you today Down Under in the future?

Kathi 00:46

I am amazing. Daisy, we have had so much support. And so many people reach out to us. I am just overwhelmed and feeling so humble that we are managing to reach so many people and help them. It is absolutely fantastic. We've even had so much financial support flood in and people encourage us, give us feedback, send us emails ask us to come on their podcast shows, it's just been phenomenal. We are so excited. I know you're with me on that Daisy.

Daisy 01:20

Totally. It's amazing so that we have increasing numbers of countries that we're reaching, and not only like countries that everybody would know, like off the top of your head, but really like even Yemen. And what was the other one that was so, Tobago and Trinidad, it's also not a big country in the Caribbean, and Bangladesh, Israel. It's like, well, Israel is big. I know, but that we reach them and it's so wonderful.

Kathi 01:46

Yes, it's amazing.

Daisy 01:48

There's a one from Zimbabwe and it's just wow, big countries, small countries, tiny countries in Cambodia. Yeah, it's so exciting to reach people that otherwise we wouldn't have been able to, and be able to impact their lives positively. It gives us both great joy. So please don't stop, keep talking to us, keep giving us your feedback, send us emails. On our website, baldandblonde.live we have contact forms. In every page for each podcast, we have a Contact Us page, it's so easy to reach out. Or you can join us on Facebook in our group The Dream Life Creators, where we deliver what we call the Dream Life blueprint, which helps you make huge transformations in your life that benefit you and your family. And everybody is welcome. We have people from over 71 countries, I think now in the group, it's phenomenal. it's mind blowing. But we're truly excited about the impact we're having.

Kathi 01:48

Mmm, it's a lot of effort that we're putting in there and we so appreciate that the effort is appreciated.

Kathi 02:58

Yes

Daisy 02:59

I think that closes the circle. That makes it really beautiful.

Kathi 03:02

Yes.

Daisy 03:02

So what is it that you want to discuss today? Because I'm sitting on pins and needles!

Kathi 03:09

Yes, if you haven't heard yet, guys, I only give Daisy our topic, right as we press record, so she doesn't actually know what's coming in this episode. And very rarely does because we find that it makes it more off the cuff conversational and more interesting for you guys. So Daisy, today, I would like to talk about memory.

Daisy 03:31

Mmm?

Kathi 03:32

Because it's a really interesting topic.

Daisy 03:35

Mm hmm.

Kathi 03:36

And possibly one that's not really talked about that much. But there's some stuff that I think we all need to know around that. And I know that you will have a gem for us about it too, because you always do.

Daisy 03:49

Thank you, but I need to find it first. So let me just d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d scan my brain. (Laughter) What's in there? Well, the first that comes to my mind, when I think of memory, it is subjective.

Kathi 04:02

Yes. I think that is a huge point. Let's explain to our listeners, what we mean by subjective.

Daisy 04:10

Okay. So my memory is mine and your memory is yours. And I give you a very clear example. Identical twins growing up in the same family at the same time, same era, time and age can be in the same family at the same family table, same moment, and having completely different memory of what happened there.

Kathi 04:35

And correct me if I'm wrong, but this is because we all filter through our own experiences.

Daisy 04:43

Mm hmm. Yes. And in addition, that we filtered through our past experiences, we also have filters that come through the evaluation process. So for example, you like the color blue, I very much dislike the color blue. For example. (This is not true; I'm just making this up.) Let's say I love the color red. And you just say now how can somebody like color red?

Kathi 05:07

Well, I do feel that way about pink.

Daisy 05:10

Okay, so I'm glad I was lucky. Yes, I picked the right color. Yay, I didn't say pink. (Laughter) Let's say you and I go into the museum, there is no really color that I don't like at all. Maybe the purple color is something that I would not wear, but as a color itself, it can still be beautiful. But let's say you and I, we go into a museum. And let's say there's one section where there are pink paintings, you will perceive these pink paintings completely differently than I because you already have kind of an aversion against pink.

Kathi 05:43

It's just a certain sort of shade that just really don't connect with maybe it's just a little bit girly for me and I've never really been that way. You know, it's that baby pink.

Daisy 05:53

Okay,

Kathi 05:54

I don't know what it is. I just do not like it.

Daisy 05:57

Okay, but you have the right to like it or dislike it. Nothing wrong with it.

Kathi 06:01

Yes.

Daisy 06:01

So now when we go somewhere, and let's say I loved pink lilies, or pink roses, and we go and walk, let's say in the botanical garden, and I said, wow, did you see those because a year later, after visiting the Botanical Garden, you and I, I tell you do you remember that I was sitting there close to the bench because I so enjoyed being surrounded by the pink roses and said, no, I have no clue. There were no pink roses. Because all you did you were focusing on the white tulips, for example, or white orchids to stick in the family are white roses, huh?

Kathi 06:33

Yeah.

Daisy 06:33

So memory has also to do with focus. So for example, if I was bit by a dog, then I have a very different relation and perception of dogs than let's say, if you were a person who was breeding dogs, and make a living with it.

Kathi 06:49

Yeah.

Daisy 06:50

 So therefore it is very individual and it's subjective. Now, when it comes to communication, I know we're talking about memory, but when it comes to communication, many arguments stem from, "you're stupid, you don't remember that". Have you ever heard something like that? Along the lines?

Kathi 07:08

Yes. And I think also from people remembering things differently.

Daisy 07:14

And then I used to, "but that is not how it was".

Kathi 07:16

Yeah.

Daisy 07:17

So when we get out of that mindset, that my memory is the one and only because here's one more thing about memory. It's not like you're taking your video cam, or your webcam, or your phone nowadays, or your tablet and video what's happening, the brain doesn't function like it, we perceive reality through the five senses. When I'm in a good mood, I will have a different perception than when I'm, let's say in a bad mood. And then let's say a year passes, or one day passes, or 24 hours pass, depending on what I was thinking about what happened there, but I didn't record it, I'm not the cell phone, I'm not the webcam, I'm not the video camera, or cell phone or whatever. In order for me to connect to the memory, I have to reconstruct it. So it's not like I'm switching on the database. And then on the computer, oh, I have the file somewhere here. No, no. So the brain is reconstructing it. Now, there are studies where they look at witnesses, let's say somebody witnessed an accident or bank robbery. And they made experiments with the witnesses that after a while the story changes. When you ask 1000 witnesses, you get most likely thousand stories. And when you wait week, you get, again from the same thousand people 1000 news stories, because things in the meantime changed. Now, let's be factual here, what really happened, happened the way it happened. But we humans don't have that capability of absolutely recalling exactly how it happened.

Kathi 08:52

Yes, there are actually a few people on the planet who can do that have perfect recall. But for the most of us no.

Daisy 09:01

There are some people who have very good recall, perfect, I'm not aware of that, because it goes through the five senses. There are people who are more in the visual. There are people who are more auditory. I heard that I heard the sound of this, that and specifically can describe it. I am not aware that there is a person through the five senses who has perfect recall. Maybe they do. I'm not sure.

Kathi 09:24

Perhaps that was the wrong way to say it, but I've heard the term meaning that some people have the ability to actually, for example, read something and be able to recite it all because they've got a photographic memory. But for the most of us, we do not.

Daisy 09:43

We do not. There are artists.

Daisy 09:45

There's this one kid from Great Britain. They take him up with a helicopter over a city. They did it over London, I've seen it. They did it over, I'm not sure if they did it Hong Kong but they did it over New York City. So he flies I think 15 minutes, the helicopters just flying around. And then they have this huge canvas or paper, that huge really is like filling up a room. And this kid is over days, it's just drawing everything it saw. And even the count of windows on these high rises is exact.

Kathi 09:45

Yeah,

Kathi 10:15

Wow.

Daisy 10:15

Phenomenal.

Kathi 10:16

Wow,

Daisy 10:17

I think they flew him also, over Rome.

Kathi 10:19

That's phenomenal.

Daisy 10:20

So that's the photographic memory

Kathi 10:23

Right.

Daisy 10:23

That does exist, but the average homo sapiens does not really have that. Now, when there's an argument, let's say at a family reunion, they said, Oh, do you remember Joe said that? No, I never said that. So now you're calling me a liar? Do you see an Ooh, the fire goes up, explosion already here. So we want to learn about our memory, not the others, that's their responsibility. But when we choose to become a self-developer, I'm committed to self-develop myself to become the best version I can be, best person I can possibly be, then I can start realizing, okay, memory is a reconstruction, it's not fixed data. Therefore, when I communicate, I can ask, hey last year when we went to Orlando, I remember seeing ABC. So you see here in the communication, I'm already adding into it. I remember seeing, I'm not stating, I saw that, I saw that, you didn't see it, so you're stupid, you're blind or what? mmh? You know the typical kind of when the arguments start?

Kathi 11:29

Mmm

Daisy 11:30

When I become aware that my memory is not perfect, then it becomes also easier for me to allow others to have a memory that's not perfect. And then when we start communicating like that, I think it creates a much more peaceful environment. Is that helpful?

Kathi 11:45

I think that's a really great point, we're going to jump to a break just quickly right now, but when we get back, we're going to get into that much deeper. So make sure you stay with us, guys. We'll be right back.

Kathi 11:58

And thanks for staying with us guys. I'm really excited now, Daisy's going to start giving us some real juice around how to verbalize, how to change sort of the way we think about what memory is so that we can change our behavior and be happier. I'm all about being happier. I love being happy. I try to be happy every single day.

Daisy 12:22

Yes, me too. I think it is very important to see the little happy moments because all we have is moment after moment after moment that we can make a conscious decision regarding our attitude.

Kathi 12:34

Absolutely, which is what we encourage you guys to do, let's consciously choose to be self-aware, and to understand these things about ourselves, so we can be our best version. So Daisy, when we talk about memory, and start changing the way we talk, like you just said before the break, that if I add the words, I remember, into the sentence, it gives that sentence a whole different dynamic.

Daisy 13:03

And it gives me the freedom that I could be wrong.

Kathi 13:06

Yes. And that's okay. We're allowed to be wrong.

Daisy 13:09

So because when I say, I remember there was a vase last week. I wonder where the vase is? Do you remember

that there was a vase, or am I imagining? It is different than when I said, where did you put the vase? There was a vase! And then I'm stating it.

Kathi 13:24

Yes. And you're also daring them to say the opposite or object or tell you're wrong. Like it's so much more confrontational.

Daisy 13:34

Yeah, yeah. So we can become more diplomatic. Now, memory also is very important when it comes to learning. The repetition is a very important aspect to repeat specific things.

Kathi 13:46

 Like we did math. One times one is one, one times two is two.

Daisy 13:51

Yes.

Daisy 13:51

And that's what we would do every day in school would recite the times tables over and over. And it becomes second nature after a while to know the numbers.

Daisy 14:00

You won't forget it.

Kathi 14:01

Yes.

Daisy 14:02

 It's interesting, the other day, I remembered that my son when he was in boarding school in Switzerland, he had a little Chinese friend, Xiao Lee and a cute little kid. And he was so good with origami, that's the Japanese art of folding papers. And it just randomly came to my mind and I said, Hey, do you remember how you did the 2D folding and then you just put a little air in it and it blew up into a 3d cube? He said, yes, of course I remember. And then he was showing it and he knew exactly how to do it. Now, how is it more easy to remember something there's one very specific ingredient that helps us? It is the excitement.

Kathi 14:42

Ah.

Daisy 14:43

When I need to learn something that I'm not in the mood to. Ugh, now I have to learn how this goes to and to is what two times two is what oh, now again, I have to do this number tables and now this table and this and that and... my attitude, right? I'm producing it, different biochemical environment within me. But now when there comes excitement to it, then that is almost like a fertilizer in our brain. And it's so much easier to remember.

Kathi 15:13

I love that. That's so cool. And when I think about that, I think you've actually hit the nail on the head. Because when we don't really want to do something, it's much harder, isn't it?

Daisy 15:25

Yeah. And now, here's what you can do. That's not to do so much with the memory, but it has to do with the fertilizer, that then makes your memory more memorable, and more exciting, how to create beautiful memories. If you need to clean the house, because you see, it's just about time; you will have to do it either way. Right? And you can choose your attitude. You can either say ugh, I have to clean the house and ugh here's some more dust as well. Oh, did you see that. And now I just cleaned that. And now it's dirty again. And that does tell me where the dust comes from. You know, the story could be cleaning the car, washing the car, mowing the lawn, it could be all kinds of things. And we can either go about it this way, or we can say. So I'm going to clean this house and choosing to, and I'm going to make it really memorable this time, put on the music, dance around it. And it gives you a very personal story from my life. I have a Ferrari in the closet.

Kathi 16:26

What?

Daisy 16:26

 Don't get me wrong. It's not a Ferrari, but I call it Ferrari. My vacuum cleaner is red and I nicknamed it Ferrari for that one reason to create a different quality of memory.

Kathi 16:41

I love that. That's awesome.

Daisy 16:42

Instead of me picking out that oh, I have to vacuum. Now let me pick the Ferrari. Let's do it. And then I switch on my music. It's boosting, and oh, my Mozart is playing in every single room, or my hummel is playing or Beethoven. And I'm just there and I'm just happy to do it, because first of all, I'm with this attitude. Okay, let me create this memory because I will remember the next day that I cleaned the house probably because I may enjoy it, I may like it. Or I may feel it in my back because oh, I was doing this and phew and now I feel a little pain here or there or I feel exhausted or tired. But if in the meantime, I choose to make it a really great experience. With that little excitement, the memory will be very different. And it will be so much more memorable. So now that is something we all can do. Every single moment we're creating a memory. We're not aware of it. Only in hindsight, that's when we realize oh, wow, that's when we see mmm, yeah, you see, had I just been in a better mood... Choose it every single moment. Because we are not aware most of the time that we're creating memories every moment we live. So make it a good one.

Kathi 17:57

And that's what we're all about guys. We're all about choosing, taking responsibility for your own actions, your own behaviors, your own feelings. And if you go back to our very first episode, we released it's called Who are you, if you have not listened to it yet, guys, we really encourage you to do, because it is foundational in what Daisy and I are trying to teach and spread the word on that everything really is about how you choose to behave.

Daisy 18:31

I agree. One more aspect I would like to mention here about memory. When we think back and choose to think of a memory, choose the better memories that make you feel good. Because here's the thing, the truth is that the past is over. And another truth is that you cannot suffer from the past, unless you recreated or reconstructed its effort. And instead of me, let's say I had once a horse, a wonderful horse while she was the mare. I'm telling you, she was just like, fantastic. And I don't have her anymore. Now it's my choice to try think of the great times I had with her. Or do I think about oh, I don't have her anymore. That's my choice.

Kathi 19:20

Yes

Daisy 19:21

You see that we have power over our life experience, no matter what the memories are. Because when we start mastering our mind, we become the boss, the master. We take our power back,

Kathi 19:34

Yes,

Daisy 19:34

and just not allow it to just randomly pick a memory and then randomly out of the blue, I'm sitting here it's beautiful, the ambience, the music, everything is wonderful and then one bad memory and this entire thing goes south. Because I remember last year you gave me that look, I will never forget it. For example, and then the beautiful honeymoon. It's over.

Kathi 19:58

Yeah, and the other person might not even remember giving that look.

Daisy 20:02

That's right. And maybe they didn't.

Kathi 20:05

Maybe you perceived it that way.

Daisy 20:08

And maybe they did it. Because they, okay, I know, why do I come up with these examples, but maybe the other person needed to fart and they were trying to avoid it. And that's why they gave you that look.

(Laughter) Think of it that way! It could be.

Kathi 20:26

We do make funny faces when we're trying to hold in that air.

Daisy 20:30

Well, gas needs to go somewhere. So again, perception, you see,

Kathi 20:35

Yes

Daisy 20:36

So, be good to yourself, and, and make a list of great memories for yourself. So that you have a list, like Memory Lane, where you can go whenever you feel a little bit, not on the best level, not in the best mood, not the greatest attitude, that you have that list of great memories that are uplifting.

Kathi 20:57

Yes.

Daisy 20:57

And go back to them, your body will follow and you will feel better.

Kathi 21:01

Yes, we remember. (Laughter) We just had a pinky moment. I was going to say remember where your focus goes,

Daisy 21:13

everything grows,

Kathi 21:14

everything grows.

Daisy 21:15

That's right. That's right. Now.

Kathi 21:18

So choose guys make a conscious choice. Take control back, empower yourselves. That's what we're all about helping you do. And make sure you come and join us in Dream Life Creators on Facebook, where we do so much more with our tribe, we actually go live into that group, at least twice a month, do in depth exercises with people, we have group workshops, we have loads of information in there that will actually help you make transformation in your life. So if you love our podcasts, come and join the group, we'd love to have you.

Daisy 21:51

That's right. And remember that memory is also repetition, if you want to memorize something, and you're really committed to be a self-developer, to become the best version of yourself, a little practice, repetition makes the master yet only if you repeat the good stuff.

Kathi 22:09

Yes.

Daisy 22:09

Thank you so much for being with us. I'm so fulfilled freely.

Kathi 22:14

Yes, thanks, everybody out there for joining us week after week and for showing your support, sending us your feedback, your love, your questions. And thank you to everybody out there who's also supported us financially that enables us to keep doing this podcast and to do the further work that we do. It is fantastic to know that we have such great support and we are going to keep going guys so make sure you tune in and listen to our next episode. We release one every week.

Daisy 22:48

Yes, and nobody knows what the topic is, but Kathi

Kathi 22:54

it is the fun part for me

Daisy 22:55

 Yes

Kathi 22:56

So thanks everybody. Once again, we are Bald and Blonde,

Daisy 23:00

the Mindset Evolution podcast. Thank you so much for being with us. Talk to you soon. Bye now.

Daisy 23:07

Thank you so much for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. Make sure you like our podcast, comment, and leave us a five-star review. Subscribe on iTunes, or wherever you consume podcasts, share with your friends and loved ones. Leave a comment and reach out to us with questions and how we can help you change your life. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Talk to you next time.