READ & LISTEN
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
communication, laughter, podcast, parents, share, speak, communicate, foul language, absolutely, life, person, episode, teenager, agree, listening, support, important, comment, dialogue
SPEAKERS
Kathi, Daisy
Daisy 00:02
Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the mindset evolution podcast hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are until your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.
Kathi 00:26
Hi everybody. This is Kathi Tait, the baldwarrior here talking to you live from Australia on the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. And with me as always is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys. Hi Daisy, how are you?
Daisy 00:43
Hi, I'm extremely well thank you so much for making your time in a timely manner to meet again and to do this because this is so exciting and I love doing it and I'm very busy on the other hand, of course with clients, but I just make it a priority to take that time and set it aside and don't take appointments and don't work late at night, but meet with you to make the world a better place. And this is just lovely. How are you, my dear friend?
Kathi 01:13
Wow, I love that Daisy, because we have done a whole episode around time. And we actually mentioned being on time in our last episode as well, which was on boundaries.
Kathi 01:25
I am great Daisy. I'm having a very busy and very productive week. So I'm excited to be here also and dedicate this time to our special baby, this podcast where we get to help people out there and today, I've decided we're going to talk about communication.
Daisy 01:43
Mmh?
Kathi 01:44
Now it is a bit of a lead on from our last episode where we spoke about boundaries. And in that episode, Daisy brought up a really important key point that I think is so important to communication that I think we're going to talk about it again briefly. In case you haven't listened to the last episode, but if you haven't guys, you must go back and do that. So before we get into that, communication to me is a two-way street. I think success in communication relies on one person being able to express themselves and the other person being willing to listen to understand. And if any of those elements aren't quite right, communication can go very wrong very fast. To bring us back to the important key point is Daisy was speaking about the first person singular and what that means within the communication framework. Can we revisit that briefly Daisy to explain what I'm talking about?
Daisy 02:49
Of course, anything. Before I go there to first person singular, let me express my okay because we're communicating right? (Laughter). Healthy communication to me is to understand and be understood without the need to be right.
Kathi 03:05
Yes.
Daisy 03:06
So that's a very important essential part, I'd say without the need to be right.
Kathi 03:11
Absolutely. I absolutely agree with that.
Daisy 03:14
I'm glad you do. (Laughter) So that is one part. Then the next thing is when you say it's a two-way street, it depends on the form of communication, our listeners out there, it's a one way street to them. They are listening to us.
Kathi 03:28
That is true. And of course we address that by putting the ability to give us feedback everywhere. (Laughter)
Daisy 03:37
True, in the group and even on the website, that's brand new, because we have just amazing news, but I let Kathi pop that pop of news.
Daisy 03:48
We want to define, okay, what is it? Is it a monologue, or is it a dialogue? Mono means okay, it's one. Those who are in the music industry are doing podcasts or recording or listening to music, you usually enjoy stereo, much more than mono. Me personally, I do, I think other music lovers as well. Once it is agreed upon that this is going to be a dialogue, then both parties should be responsible to be open both ways.
Kathi 04:18
Yes
Daisy 04:19
So when I'm speaking, I'm the one sending a message. You can imagine now, an old fashioned envelope where I'm putting something in there that I want to send to Kathi, and then she's the receiver. Now I can actually look, is it a good time that I'm sending, is she occupied, is she in the mood? That's what I can control kind of thing by my observation. That I sent the message and then now I turn into the receiver, because you become the sender. It's like the two tennis giants, Djokovic and Federer, I know there are others out there too, but I'm still, I like Roger Federer, yes Switzerland and who is number one, these gentlemen, on and off the tennis courts, my personal applause to him. And on the tennis court, what do they do? The ball goes back and forth, so that there must be some flow in the communication. And of course, it is helpful when we speak the same language.
Kathi 05:17
Very helpful.
Daisy 05:18
Because wenn ich jetzt mit dir auf Deutsch weiterspreche, dann verstehst du mich nicht mehr, pause, because you're trying to find any data that's related to
Kathi 05:28
not even one word (Laughter)
Daisy 05:32
I just said in German that if I continue speaking German to you, then you would probably not understand one word of it. So I think it is helpful that we speak in a language that we can agree upon, we both understand and enjoy.
Kathi Tait 05:46
Yes
Daisy 05:47
I can give you an example about that. My son and I, we both speak three languages, the same three languages and we switch back and forth and something and sometimes he says mom, can you say it in German, please? if he's in the mood, or if he's not in the mood to set sail in English, so that's okay. And then we can agree upon. So that's why the part of language can be really important.
Daisy 06:09
And then the next thing is okay is the other person open to receive, because let's say you're absolutely stressed, you're late, you have two other tests to do and it's almost midnight and you're tired and you have toothache and you have headaches and you need to go use the bathroom. It's probably not an opportune moment to communicate to you about the vacation we want to take in 2025 or the retreats that we're planning on doing in Fiji next year, so it's probably not opportune. So it's my responsibility.
Daisy 06:36
And then when we communicate, what is it, it's actually it's sharing and caring. So I share with you what's going on in my head, my thoughts. I share with you what's going on in my heart, my feelings, emotions, I share with you, maybe some of my concerns, I share with you some of my experiences and then that is the tennis, is just going back and forth. And we are not like two tennis players on the court. This is not about winning the US Open or the Australian Open, none of that, mmh?
Kathi 07:07
No
Daisy 07:07
That's what communication is not! But the ball in this metaphor, the back and forth, that is why it's a dialogue. So let's go back to the tennis court, because communication can be healthy and we can discuss something or we can move forward, we can come to a conclusion, to an agreement or we come to laughter together, or we cry together. These are all aspects of communication.
Kathi 07:32
Yes.
Daisy 07:33
And the communication is only over when I put down my racket. Game over. Okay, so we discussed that there are these people they repeat themselves over and over again.
Kathi 07:43
(Whispering) I have a couple of family members. (Laughter and indistinct whispering...we agree not....not close family.) I know a couple people like that in my life that do tend to repeat themselves.
Daisy 08:01
So what do you do then?
Kathi 08:02
Then there was this one particular person who was just an acquaintance and I genuinely didn't know what to do because she thought she was funny. She would tell these stories and laugh at herself and it was like, she was just entertaining yourself. But she also would repeat things and tell the same stories over and over.
Daisy 08:22
What did you do? How did you respond?
Kathi 08:24
I didn't hang out with her as much.
Daisy 08:26
How sad, I think.
Kathi 08:28
Yeah, because in those days, there's no way I would have confronted somebody with that in fear of hurting their feelings. Which we spoke about last episode.
Daisy 08:40
Yeah.
Kathi Tait 08:40
Boundaries.
Daisy 08:40
The boundaries episode
Kathi 08:41
Yeah.
Daisy 08:41
So okay, but let's go back to communication.
Kathi 08:44
Yes.
Daisy 08:45
Because maybe the two of you could have had great communication had you communicated with her, that it's not that entertaining for you when she's repeating the same story over and again, so there was a lack of communication producing some problem.
Kathi 09:01
Yeah, sure, yeah.
Daisy 09:02
Now part of communication is also that I share with you, I help you remember that you already told me, so I can do that in a gentle way. I can say, I remember you already told me that. I help you remember what you did or didn't say.
Kathi 09:18
Yeah
Daisy 09:18
That's gentle. And maybe she could have told you some incredible life stories, or maybe laughed together or maybe laughed about her telling the same story again, because the moment when we stop communication, that's quite a statement too, isn't it?
Kathi 09:32
Yes, it is.
Daisy 09:33
So you see, there's so many aspects it's exciting. Communication is so important. I love it, by the way, when I see people who communicate through sign language.
Kathi 09:43
Oh, they're amazing, aren't they?
Daisy 09:45
And they can be so expressive, and it is, wow, I wish I understood, mmh?
Kathi 09:51
Yes, for sure.
Daisy 09:52
So you see, communication is very important. Now what I think is very good for all humans, be fair, choose your words wisely and remember foul language is a no go.
Kathi 10:03
Yeah.
Daisy 10:03
I don't care where anyone acquired their talents of using foul language. It's a no go. Because the moment I add that kind of, to me personally unnecessary, spice into communication, it goes a certain way. Leave it out, try to leave it out. Actually, let me correct that. I do care where you acquired the foul language. Let's address it. Let's heal it and stop doing it because you will feel better about yourself.
Kathi 10:30
That's a great point. Daisy. Absolutely,
Daisy 10:32
Yes, I got a point. Yes. (Laughter)
Kathi 10:37
Let's give our listeners a simple communication exercise they can go home and do with someone in their family.
Daisy 10:45
First person singular.
Daisy 10:46
Now I go back to your requests next time when you say hey, you're leaving the socks out there again, turn it around, speak what you're observing as if you were a surveillance camera. I see some socks here and I'm not really sure what I should think about that. That's a great skill. By the way, the mother of one of my teachers, she was so elegant because instead of her reacting, she always inserted that little thingy. She asked herself a question. She did this in German language. And she asked as to what should I think about that now? So she gained some time to respond instead of react. So next time you see the laundry still in the hallway, or on the floor, or on the bedroom, or the couch or wherever, just say what you're experiencing and share how it makes you feel. And then add your request what you would like instead. That's clear and then let's see what happens. Give us feedback.
Daisy 11:38
I love that. I love that, so simple. And how about one that a teenager could do?
Daisy 11:45
A teenager?
Kathi 11:45
Yes.
Daisy 11:46
What would be a topic? What's the context?
Kathi 11:48
How about they have got a new boyfriend or girlfriend and the parents trying to ask about it and they don't want to talk about it, but they also don't want to cause conflict with their parent.
Daisy 12:00
Okay, so we're trying to help the parents out there or the teenager, hmm? Two different things. (Laughter)
Kathi 12:09
I don't know, I have a feeling that this will reach into some teenagers' ears, so let's do it from the teenager's point of view.
Daisy 12:16
So let's say that there is a nagging parent, hey, but tell me that so you have a girlfriend finally or you have a boyfriend now or what's going on there, is that the kind...?
Kathi 12:24
Yeah, yeah. And all the stuff that parents do around that can be very frustrating for a teenager when they just want to do their thing.
Daisy 12:33
Explore. I think for all teenagers out there, when your parents are caring parents, they can still be annoying at times. I'm a mother myself. And so is Kathi.
Kathi 12:42
I am, yes.
Daisy 12:43
We do really care for what you do at all times, all the time, a lifetime long. So you will not be able to outgrow this. It will not go to disappear. That's it, that's mom.
Kathi 12:56
We can both attest to that, mine's 26, yours is 28, I think?
Daisy 13:01
No sir he's just turned 30 (laughter & indistinct comments)
Kathi 13:08
It doesn't change no matter how old they get.
Daisy 13:11
Imagine that your parents care, they don't ask for nagging. They don't ask because they want to nag you, they ask probably because they're curious. They want to know what's going on in your life and they want to also be sure that you're okay, wherever you are in your life.
Kathi 13:26
Yes, it is often your safety whether it seems reasonable or not, parents worry about their kids.
Daisy 13:32
Yeah. So now as a teenager, what you can do. Let's say your parent asked you once, I would be frank, I'd say, depends if you have a new friend or not. Yes, I'm trying to figure out I really like that one person and I thought it's a wise thing to get to know them better.
Kathi 13:47
Hey, kids say that to your parents and see if it leaves them speechless. (laughter)
Daisy 13:56
Could be.
Kathi 13:56
I think it might.
Daisy 14:00
And then here to the parents let's... because I don't want to abandon them in this case scenario.
Kathi 14:04
No, let's help them too.
Daisy 14:05
Parents, yes. Ask them. And if you have the experience that your children are honest, sincere, then believe them. If you have a cheeky sneaky child that has the tendency to bend here a little bit or bend there a little bit, then there's a different problem involved as well, that can be addressed. When it's about, okay, let's build trust here, because you're going to be a grown up shortly and I would like to make sure that you're aware of it, how important it is for me that you're responsible human being that is sincere and can be trusted, because I want to treat you as a young adult. And in order for me to do that, I need to be able to trust you and know that when you say something to me that I can take it to the bank that it's true.
Kathi 14:49
Absolutely. And I think that is an extremely important pillar in any of our relationships, and it's especially apparent when we're talking about teenagers 'cause you go through so much as a teenager and having your parent on your side is going to make your life a lot easier. And I worked hard to build a great relationship with my son when he was a teenager, so he felt safe in coming to me with anything he was struggling with. So, you know, we want to support and encourage that.
Daisy 15:20
I think honesty is very key. That's another part of communication. Unless I'm a stand up comedian and tell you the green, the blue and the yellow from the walls, then that's my job because I'm entertaining you in that setting. But I do believe that honesty is very important, because otherwise, who am I lying to? I'm setting up already lies in the entire setting.
Kathi 15:40
Absolutely.
Daisy 15:41
So if I want honesty, then I better be an honest person.
Kathi 15:44
Absolutely
Daisy 15:44
Agreed?
Kathi 15:45
Yes, absolutely. Definitely another pillar.
Daisy 15:48
And I want to say I honestly appreciate our supporters. Thank you so much. Really, that's wonderful. Thank you, what a nice gesture to share with us that you appreciate what you're doing and your comments as well with the support, so that we can keep up with our technical stuff here and the staff.
Kathi 16:04
Yes.
Daisy 16:05
That's wonderful, thanks so much.
Kathi 16:07
We're very thankful for everyone out there who's supported us in all the ways they can. And actually we have a little announcement today we have...
Daisy 16:16
Bring it on!
Kathi 16:19
We have just launched our website, the home of the Bald and Blonde podcast and the address is baldandblonde.live. So you can head over there and check out information about Daisy and I and our backgrounds and to get access to all the other things that we do. Plus we have special write-ups on each episode, the ability to listen right there on the website, and so much more. We are going to produce special podcast packs for every episode we do that helps you dive deeper into the topic, into the lessons we discuss and give you some exercises that you can actually do at home. So we're really excited. Every episode that has been published to date has a podcast pack there for you to go and download today. So check it out!
Daisy 17:15
That's wonderful, so much effort in that and I believe this is the future of learning because you can go precisely to topic and you can dive in deeper, you can share, you can learn something, change your own life, create the life you really dream of. That's why it's called Dream Life Creators on Facebook in the group and we share a lot of specials there that are dear to us. And you can get to know us a little bit closer as we are sharing some personal insights and we share some live videos and we say hello to everyone. And if you have a question just come on and ask us because we believe that it's part of communication to ask questions.
Kathi 17:54
Absolutely. And that group is designed to be there to support you guys with what you're going through and help you create change in your life. So we do urge you to come on over and join us and get to know Daisy and I much better as there's a lot of stuff happening in there that you will not see anywhere else. So we're going to wrap it up for our episode on communication there today. And we thank you for your time, your support and please do get in touch with us if there's anything you'd like to say. We love feedback. And don't forget to hit subscribe on your favorite podcast listening platform.
Daisy 18:32
That is wonderful. Exactly and share because we share so much with you. So you're welcome to share with us. Thank you so much for listening and talk to you soon.
Kathi 18:42
See you next time.
Daisy 18:43
Bye.
Daisy 18:44
Thank you so much for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde mindset evolution podcast. Make sure you like our podcast, comment and leave us a five-star review. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you consume podcasts. Share with your friends and loved ones. Leave a comment and reach out to us with questions and how we can help you change your life. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Talk to you next time.
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
procrastinate, procrastination, people, laughter, clean, feel, find, scrubbing, chore, bathroom, shower, life, happen, podcast, task, put, minutes, meaning, fun
SPEAKERS
Kathi, Daisy
Daisy 00:02
Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the Mindset Evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create your content life wherever you are. And here your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.
Kathi 00:26
And welcome everyone to another episode of Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution. I'm one of your hosts Kathi Tait, the Baldwarrior from Australia and with me as always is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys. Hi, Daisy.
Daisy 00:42
Hi, Kathi. Welcome everyone to another great episode, we so love sharing knowledge, wisdom, and actually subconscious intelligence with you because I do believe we all have it inside and we want to get access to it. So we're here to help you.
Kathi 00:59
Yeah, absolutely. And we find gold in every episode, we just flip a topic out and start talking about it. And every single time we get some gold, and today we're going to talk about procrastination.
Daisy 01:15
Hmm. Oh, that's another juicy one. Oh,
Kathi 01:18
is it is and I think it's a very common one too. What would you call it? A behavioral trait?
Daisy 01:26
It's a pattern.
Kathi 01:27
A pattern, behavioral pattern?
Daisy 01:29
Pattern, trait?
Kathi 01:29
Yeah.
Daisy 01:30
Yeah, either way, doesn't make it better if we call it in a different name. (Laughter)
Daisy 01:37
Doesn't get better by that.
Kathi 01:40
No, that is true. That's true. And I'm going to put my hand up. I'm guilty of procrastination at times,
Daisy 01:47
mm,
Kathi 01:47
which is I do think is a really common one. How about you, Daisy going to put your hand up?
Daisy 01:52
I have been procrastinating in my life with specific tasks. But it was very limited to very specific things and now in the meantime, I know why. And I think that is something we want to share with our listeners. So what is procrastination? So the first of it is that we're trying to put things off, trying to delay some things. And so that is procrastination itself, short definition. But you can go and look it up online, you will probably find some more detailed information on it. Then how do we handle procrastination? And what does it mean to us? I relate procrastination directly to fear. Because if it would be fun doing, then we would be doing it.
Kathi 02:39
Yeah, that's probably true, I think. We don't procrastinate about fun things, unless there's some other element going on.
Daisy 02:48
There you go. Because it could be fun to go onstage and sing. But being so afraid of doing so because what will others say? Or speaking on stage? You speak on stages? I speak on stage. I speak all my day. So with you now of course talking to the world.
Kathi 03:05
Yes.
Daisy 03:06
And there is a danger that we could be judged. And today I can see, okay, bring it on.
Kathi 03:15
Yes
Daisy 03:16
Because I get into every episode we're recording. I know this is the best episode we're going to record now.
Kathi 03:24
Yes
Daisy 03:24
That's my attitude.
Kathi 03:26
Yeah, absolutely. And we're doing it from the right place. We're doing it from a place of wanting to help people.
Daisy 03:32
That's for sure. Yeah. I thought the right place Brisbane because then how do we divide that? (Laughter)
Kathi 03:38
No, from a place of love and serving others, and that's why we don't fear criticism, right?
Daisy 03:46
Because others perception of me is theirs?
Kathi 03:50
Yes.
Daisy 03:51
Has nothing to do with me.
Kathi 03:52
Yes.
Daisy 03:52
When I know I do my best, then I can be accomplished with that. I can feel satisfied. So now okay, so procrastination. Why do we do it and how to stop doing it. That's what you would like to hear from here.
Kathi 04:06
You took the words right out of my mouth Daisy, to quote Meatloaf (laughter). One of my favorites.
Daisy 04:12
Well, let's think of it, why do we do it? So let's say I need to go to the post office. Very simple thing, very simple task to do, depending on where you live, because in the area where I live, there's a line of 15 people and sometimes the post office is too small because you need to be six feet apart nowadays. And then you need to stand outside and all I can do is you know, use my fan. I'm cooler than you are. And then stand out there and wait. Logically, it would make sense to procrastinate, because it's not that amazing experience to go there, get it done. But, when I focus on how I will feel once it's done, now that can be already a motivation. And that's the key.
Kathi 04:58
Yes, yes. In fact, I think that's a nail because I would think of what I would want to do straight after. As soon as I get it done. I'm going to do this.
Daisy 05:10
The reward. And I do believe that is important. But now let's go a little step deeper. Procrastination is fear. People can come and say, no, no, this is not true. I do believe that there's, I rarely use generalizations, but I do it today. Procrastination always has some fear to it; why? I go to the post office, and then I think, oh, maybe then I will be late to do other tasks. When I stand there in line and will take me one hour.
Kathi 05:41
Yeah.
Daisy 05:42
Or let's say I'm going to rehearsal. Ow, but what if I'm not going to be good enough? Or somebody who is going to write an exam, and they procrastinate. Oftentimes, when I work with students, what I find out is that they already have a belief within them, it doesn't really matter, because I won't be good enough anyways.
Kathi 06:09
Oh
Daisy 06:10
Yeah. So therefore, it makes sense that they procrastinate.
Kathi 06:14
Yeah.
Daisy 06:15
Now, let me go one step deeper. When people then feel low in self-esteem, it doesn't make any sense anyways, why should I do it at all? Nobody will appreciate what I did. That won't be a good outcome. Hmm? Then, that is when they accepted other people's opinions. And now comes a flip that happens in the subconscious mind. It does not happen consciously. Sometimes it does, most of the time, it's not conscious. When then they say, okay, I have rather tell myself, I'm not good enough. I rather tell myself I knew I won't pass the exam, so when other people then later on, tell me, I can only say to myself inside internally, some people say it out loud, but we have lots of conversation communication going on in our own heads. And then I can say, I knew it, was worthless. I knew it, I'm stupid. I knew it, I can't do it. Now, how can we reverse that? Something not clear here?
Kathi 06:54
I'm just thinking about what you just said because I want to make sure that I connect all the dots.
Daisy 07:34
Okay. So how did you connect the dots?
Kathi 07:37
I was just thinking that what you were saying is that we are trying to stay congruent with our self-beliefs. So if we make the self-belief already that we're worthless when people tell it to us, it's congruent with that. And that's why it can be so hard to change that self-belief.
Daisy 07:57
And then why would you not procrastinate? When you don't see value in what you're going to do, it is not meaningful to you, then why would you do it?
Kathi 08:10
So really, the trick here is to actually look inside a little bit when you find yourself procrastinating and figure out what's at the root of it so you'd ask yourself some questions about why am I feeling this way? Why am I...
Daisy 08:28
I would not do that.
Kathi 08:29
No?
Daisy 08:30
I would not do that because why is very destructive and I'd say a downward spiral question because the brain is like an answering machine. It's like a scanner you ask Oh, why does that always happen to me? And your brain goes d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d scanning like everything through it and then you will find 1001 answers. So I suggest asking why only in positive settings. So for example, why am I so lucky that I found this parking spot when there never is one? or Why am I so lucky? I found $1 bill on the ground? Wow. Yay. Why am I so lucky that I got this new job? That's when you want to ask yourself because that is when you give this question to your mind. And then again, your mind goes like a scanner d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d and it will actually find justifications why you deserve what you feel just lucky about.
Kathi 09:23
But yeah, it's happening in a positive way now.
Daisy 09:26
Yeah
Kathi 09:26
Yeah, sure.
Daisy 09:28
But back to the procrastination, I would not ask myself why am I procrastinating? I would start giving it a different meaning. Not to procrastination, but the task that's on my list. For example, I need to clean the house. But is it really so much fun?
Kathi 09:45
Oh, this is one of my big ones. Daisy. I'm not good at cleaning. Like surface cleaning, yes, sure, everyday stuff but scrubbing showers is not my thing. (Laughter)
Daisy 09:58
I don't blame you. I don't blame you. So whoever's out there and can invent the self-scrubbing shower, I'm one of your first, I bought it already. (Laughter)
Kathi 10:11
If they can make dishwashers that clean themselves, why can't they make a bath that cleans itself? (More laughter)
Daisy 10:18
So, what is the meaning? What does it, do you want to be the, not guinea pig, what's a better word for guinea pig?
Kathi 10:26
I was going to say guinea pig! (Laughter)
Daisy 10:30
I don't want to call you a guinea pig here. Volunteer. Would you like to volunteer?
Kathi 10:37
Sure. I'll volunteer. I have no idea what I'm volunteering for here people (still laughing).
Daisy 10:44
Probably feel safe with me.
Kathi 10:45
Chuck me in it. I'm in.
Daisy 10:48
So okay, scrubbing the shower, so cleaning the shower
Kathi 10:51
Right.
Daisy 10:51
What does it mean to you in your own words?
Daisy 10:57
It's, it's a chore that has to be done regularly to prevent a worse problem later.
Daisy 11:04
A chore that needs to be done to prevent the worse problem later. Okay.
Kathi 11:09
Yeah.
Daisy 11:10
If I think about, let's say making a meal for my favorite people in my life, and I would think well, it is a chore.
Kathi 11:18
No, I like cooking (laughing)
Daisy 11:20
No, I'm talking about, me too. No, stay with me. No escape here. Stay with me. But what you're telling yourself, maybe not consciously, but let's say you're looking forward to invite people over and cook for them and have a great time with people you really care for, what will be a good time that you will be having and they will enjoy it and will be just great. But let's say your mindset and this is Mindset Evolution podcast, by the way. (Laughter)
Kathi 11:54
Your host is guinea pig, Kathi. (They just keep on laughing)
Daisy 12:02
She's a volunteer!
Kathi 12:05
I don't... guinea pigs are cute, Daisy, I'm okay with it.
Daisy 12:11
Fine. Okay, I respect that. But let's say you invited for dinner, your favorite people.
Kathi 12:19
Yeah.
Daisy 12:19
And while you're preparing, what you're rehearsing in your mind is, what's a chore to do to prevent the worst thing from happening later. How much fun will it be cooking?
Kathi 12:36
I've got to tell you why I'm finding this so funny, because, because the last time it was about probably a week ago, I actually did have some friends over to dinner and because of that, I actually cleaned the bathroom. (Laughter)
Daisy 12:55
Let me ask you this. Was it as bad as it usually was to clean the bathroom?
Kathi 13:01
No, because I had a great reason, my friends were coming and I don't want them to know I'm really secretly a bathroom sloth. Their bathroom's always perfect.
Daisy 13:15
But you've got the key now?
Kathi 13:16
Yes.
Daisy 13:17
Change what you're telling yourself
Kathi 13:19
yes
Daisy 13:19
and it will be a different experience. That's the key. Thank you for volunteering.
Kathi 13:23
And I think there's something certainly to the reward system here. Not materially,
Daisy 13:29
no, but in your mind. But in the meantime, look, I don't know if I mentioned that in the podcast or in one of our Facebook Lives or interviews. I don't remember what I said when, but I have a vacuum cleaner, and it's Ferrari red, so I call it Ferrari. And I take Ferrari out of the closet and then it changed my attitude.
Kathi 13:49
Yeah, I love that.
Daisy 13:50
And then I also like to use future pace. So after you did it, how will you feel when you now let's say here's this horrible bathtub that you need to clean and you need to scrub the shower and clean the bathroom. And for you it's just a horrible chore and you really dislike doing it. Put that aside for a moment and just imagine yourself for a moment you can close your eyes if you want to, mind you listeners are out there driving, don't close your eyes. Keep both hands on the steering wheel. Keep your eyes open, but later on, close your eyes. And just imagine how you will feel after you did it, what you try to procrastinate today.
Kathi 14:32
I will feel a lot better.
Daisy 14:34
There you go. Now imagine a magnet. And if you have a magnet, you have the positive pole you have the negative pole, one side tosses, the other one is attracting depending on where you use the magnet on. Now you want to have on the other side of the tunnel, after scrubbing the bathroom, you want to have something that's attractive. That helps you go through it quicker, faster, better, maybe with more smiles on your face. And then in the meantime, what you're telling yourself, if you keep really this bathtub and that shower, poor thing, it's here to serve you. It may be, would like to be something else, but it cannot. Ha-ha, you see now it gets emotion. Now when you have a different attitude to the chore that you're going to do, and you have something how you will feel you know exactly how you will be feeling after you did it. Now you have two things that are helping you to go through it.
Kathi 15:34
Yes, yes. And I'm going to add one more. Because I think that when we do procrastinate, and we know we're doing, I think it sits here like on your shoulders, and you know that you're supposed to do it, but you're deliberately not doing it and you're putting it off and you're having this whole dialogue about it. And you still decide to procrastinate longer, like that burden will be gone. So there's the third reason for moving forward. Because that feels good to get rid of that.
Daisy 16:05
Yes.
Kathi 16:06
Doesn't matter how little the thing is, it's still there.
Daisy 16:09
Yes. And you really put something very interesting out there. Because when we feel that kind of yeah, I should do it. I should be doing it. I don't do it. I don't want to do it. All that chitchat that's going on within us. And we know we should be doing it. What does it trigger? The guilt?
Kathi 16:29
Yeah.
Daisy 16:30
And guilt is quite dark.
Kathi 16:31
Yeah.
Daisy 16:31
So we don't want that. And to give another example, when you give it meaning, what you're going to do, and you can always change the meaning you give it. You know, in the operation room where they do surgeries, there's one person assigned to count all the instruments and utensils before and after every surgery.
Kathi 16:52
Yes.
Daisy 16:52
Now, every five, six, ten-year-old could do that, because it's only about counting, depending on how far they got in counting numbers. But there's such a big meaning.
Kathi 17:04
Oh, yes
Daisy 17:04
It's so important. It has value. And therefore, people actually stand in line to get that job. It's very highly acknowledged and appreciated. So when you change the meaning, there's this student girl I'm working with in Germany and she had an exam just while it didn't go so well so she has to redo it. And her parents are mad at her and she's mad at herself and she knows she needs to do it. And she's actually, I think, fortunate that you get another chance. If she doesn't do well in this chance, then that's it, study over. And she says yeah, well, you know, and procrastination. And I also tell her, look, you will have to do it either way, or not, what life do you want to live? And then she tells me, I did a future pace with her. How would she like to have a life in 10 years? I said, Okay, so nine years from now, what do you need to do to achieve that already 10 years from now? What do you need to do five years from now to achieve your goal in 10 years from now? What is it that you can do right here today to support these goals? In order smoothly? And then she said I need to sit down and study. I said here you go.
Kathi 18:20
Bingo.
Daisy 18:21
You see? Yeah, yeah?
Kathi 18:25
Yeah.
Daisy 18:25
So it is not about how to find out or why we should find out or about finding out at all, why we do procrastinate. You have a million reasons to procrastinate. I rather focus on find the million reasons why stop doing it. Now what we can do when it's overwhelming when it's a big task, I suggest make a commitment. You start doing it but only for two minutes. Start doing it and you will only do it for two minutes. And once you're in there usually you get it rolling.
Kathi 19:01
Yeah, you know what that does work with cleaning I have to say because if you start one bit and then the rest all looks terrible, so you just keep going don't you? It's the actual starting that's the hard part. I actually turn music on to help me do that because at least if I can do a dance
Daisy 19:19
yeah,
Kathi 19:19
dance
Daisy 19:20
I'm in the groove
Kathi 19:21
with my cleaning rags. I can, like, let's roleplay Cinderella maybe, but at least I have some fun with myself while I'm doing it, so.
Daisy 19:31
Yes. And I suggest also to hold yourself accountable. So put out a plan Okay, which are the areas in your life where you procrastinate. Let's say its cleaning, scrubbing the poor little bathtub or shower, will never look at that shower the same way again.
Kathi 19:47
No (Laughter)
Daisy 19:51
It wants to be clean!
Kathi 19:52
I feel like I need to go and clean it now
Daisy 19:54
by the end of the episode because Kathi needs to
Kathi 19:57
go and clean the shower (laughter).
Daisy 20:01
That was it for today. And how would you sell accountable for example, I'm procrastinating when it comes to shopping, I procrastinate learning a specific sequence of my studies, I procrastinate washing my car, or cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the house, and then just put it out there and hold yourself accountable. So these are tests that eventually I'm going to do. Now, how much better will I feel when I have that already behind me?
Kathi 20:31
Yes.
Daisy 20:32
And then just start doing it for two minutes. And after two minutes, you can look at your watch. Or nowadays, rarely people wear watches anymore. Look at your phone or your computer or iPad, whatever you have. And after two minutes, you can make a new decision to just simply continue.
Kathi 20:51
Yes,
Daisy 20:53
there's this lady and she said, Yeah, she can stay on a diet for two weeks. And she was devastated. She says I can do it for two weeks, easily no problem at all. And after two weeks, I just that's it. I'm done with it. I need to eat. I need to give myself the freedom to choose. And I said, Great. Do that for one day, and then start again for two weeks.
Kathi 21:14
Hmm
Daisy 21:15
Oh, it was lovely. She lost her kilos. They were just falling off of her. So she knew that she would be able to do it for two weeks.
Kathi 21:24
Yes.
Daisy 21:24
And all we needed to do give her one break and then continue what she's capable of doing? Yeah,
Kathi 21:29
Yeah, I believe that works. I loosely use that myself.
Daisy 21:32
Yeah, well, you're using a different program.
Kathi 21:35
I have a breakout day. I don't usually eat things like chocolate because I don't eat lactose. But occasionally I'll find a brand I can eat.
Daisy 21:46
Yeah, that's okay too.
Kathi 21:48
Keep it rare is the secret.
Daisy 21:49
That's okay, too. And then after you did it for two minutes, or four minutes, or maybe for 24 minutes, or for two hours, whatever the chore was, or the task that you're procrastinating. Give yourself a reward.
Kathi 22:03
Yes
Daisy 22:04
Not in shape or form of chocolate or ice cream or not cake.
Kathi 22:08
No
Daisy 22:08
No, internally. Give yourself what you would tell someone who just did it for you.
Kathi 22:16
Yes.
Daisy 22:17
Now that's an easy thing, because it's so much easier to applaud someone else.
Kathi 22:21
Yes,
Daisy 22:22
or to appreciate someone else.
Daisy 22:23
And then just write it down on a piece of paper, you know, I'm so glad you did that because wow, it's really, the shower looks like bling bling. It's just wow, it shines. And it's so awesome. It's such a wonderful feeling stepping into the bathroom. Write it down what you would say if somebody else would have done it, or going to the post office, or standing in line for I don't know what, or doing something, mowing the lawn, or bringing the child to somewhere where it's supposed to go, but I'm not really in the mood to, and then just write it down on a piece of paper how you appreciate if a person would have done that for you. And then just leave it there. Just leave it there. And sooner or later, you will come across it and then you'll probably smile at yourself and actually I did it.
Kathi 22:23
It is.
Kathi 23:10
I think that we should put them in a box and collect them.
Daisy 23:15
You can do that too. I know you're the jar collector you like to put things in jars
Kathi 23:19
I like to do things like that. I have a version of a self-love box and a vision box.
Daisy 23:24
Yeah?
Kathi 23:25
Yeah,
Daisy 23:26
You can do that too.
Kathi 23:27
Yeah, I think collect them. I think that's a really great thing to do is to actually express gratitude to yourself, and write it down.
Daisy 23:36
Give yourself what you would like to receive.
Kathi 23:39
Yeah,
Daisy 23:39
But we are just like, humans really have a tendency to be so hard on themselves. And they can be so generous with others when it comes to compliments. And most humans are just so hard on themselves.
Kathi 23:53
Yes.
Daisy 23:54
Well, let's stop doing that.
Kathi 23:56
That's true. I second that we are nicer to ourselves. Definitely. Yeah,
Daisy 24:01
So let's turn it around. Give yourself what you always needed to get.
Kathi 24:05
Yes
Daisy 24:06
That's what I'd do.
Kathi 24:07
I love it. I love it. So please do let us know if you love that too. And that is so how complimenting yourself works for you. We certainly love having them. So we would like to say a big thank you to all of our supporters out there. People have reached out to us with their feedback and their questions and their topic ideas. We love hearing from you. So please keep sending us feedback. You can do that on our website, baldandblonde.live, from within our Facebook group Dream Life Creators Baldwarrior or simply by messaging us because we're both on Facebook too.
Daisy 24:50
You can find us on all social media.
Kathi 24:53
I'm hard to miss
Daisy 24:53
On Twitter to Facebook, Instagram, and we have a new Instagram page actually. So It is Bald and Blonde Live. And you can find us there you can follow us and we're going to put up stories about what we're doing, how we're doing it, thoughts and kind of gold nuggets that we just spread and share with you. So follow us there. Bald and Blonde Live on Instagram.
Kathi 25:19
We'd love to have you with us on Instagram. So we will wrap things up for today there. Thank you, Daisy for your wisdom, as always. Thank you to our listeners out there for your time. We really appreciate you. Please share us with your family and friends because we want to help change as many lives as we can. Thanks from me, Kathi Tait from Australia,
Daisy 25:45
and Daisy Papp from the Florida Keys and come visit us on Instagram Bald and Blonde live. And also thank you so very much for spreading the word about our podcast. We're so passionate about it. But now let's end this procrastination and let's just say goodbye.
Kathi 26:04
Goodbye from Bald and Blonde
Daisy 26:07
Mindset Evolution, bye.
Kathi 26:09
See you next time.
Daisy 26:12
Thank you for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. If you love what you're hearing, please subscribe to our podcast. In our show notes, you can find the link to our Facebook group where you can personally connect with Daisy and Kathi and the link to our website where you can find all of our previous episodes and much more of goodies so you can get the most value. Please leave us a review on Apple podcasts, that really helps our show and helps us to get some powerful feedback from you. Thank you so much for listening. Talk to you soon.EP_18_Procrastination
Sat, 11/7 12:47AM • 26:55
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
procrastinate, procrastination, daisy, people, laughter, clean, feel, find, scrubbing, chore, bathroom, shower, life, happen, podcast, task, put, minutes, meaning, fun
SPEAKERS
Kathi, Daisy
Daisy 00:02
Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the Mindset Evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create your content life wherever you are. And here your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.
Kathi 00:26
And welcome everyone to another episode of Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution. I'm one of your hosts Kathi Tait, the Baldwarrior from Australia and with me as always is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys. Hi, Daisy.
Daisy 00:42
Hi, Kathi. Welcome everyone to another great episode, we so love sharing knowledge, wisdom, and actually subconscious intelligence with you because I do believe we all have it inside and we want to get access to it. So we're here to help you.
Kathi 00:59
Yeah, absolutely. And we find gold in every episode, we just flip a topic out and start talking about it. And every single time we get some gold, and today we're going to talk about procrastination.
Daisy 01:15
Hmm. Oh, that's another juicy one. Oh,
Kathi 01:18
is it is and I think it's a very common one too. What would you call it? A behavioral trait?
Daisy 01:26
It's a pattern.
Kathi 01:27
A pattern, behavioral pattern?
Daisy 01:29
Pattern, trait?
Kathi 01:29
Yeah.
Daisy 01:30
Yeah, either way, doesn't make it better if we call it in a different name. (Laughter)
Daisy 01:37
Doesn't get better by that.
Kathi 01:40
No, that is true. That's true. And I'm going to put my hand up. I'm guilty of procrastination at times,
Daisy 01:47
mm,
Kathi 01:47
which is I do think is a really common one. How about you, Daisy going to put your hand up?
Daisy 01:52
I have been procrastinating in my life with specific tasks. But it was very limited to very specific things and now in the meantime, I know why. And I think that is something we want to share with our listeners. So what is procrastination? So the first of it is that we're trying to put things off, trying to delay some things. And so that is procrastination itself, short definition. But you can go and look it up online, you will probably find some more detailed information on it. Then how do we handle procrastination? And what does it mean to us? I relate procrastination directly to fear. Because if it would be fun doing, then we would be doing it.
Kathi 02:39
Yeah, that's probably true, I think. We don't procrastinate about fun things, unless there's some other element going on.
Daisy 02:48
There you go. Because it could be fun to go onstage and sing. But being so afraid of doing so because what will others say? Or speaking on stage? You speak on stages? I speak on stage. I speak all my day. So with you now of course talking to the world.
Kathi 03:05
Yes.
Daisy 03:06
And there is a danger that we could be judged. And today I can see, okay, bring it on.
Kathi 03:15
Yes
Daisy 03:16
Because I get into every episode we're recording. I know this is the best episode we're going to record now.
Kathi 03:24
Yes
Daisy 03:24
That's my attitude.
Kathi 03:26
Yeah, absolutely. And we're doing it from the right place. We're doing it from a place of wanting to help people.
Daisy 03:32
That's for sure. Yeah. I thought the right place Brisbane because then how do we divide that? (Laughter)
Kathi 03:38
No, from a place of love and serving others, and that's why we don't fear criticism, right?
Daisy 03:46
Because others perception of me is theirs?
Kathi 03:50
Yes.
Daisy 03:51
Has nothing to do with me.
Kathi 03:52
Yes.
Daisy 03:52
When I know I do my best, then I can be accomplished with that. I can feel satisfied. So now okay, so procrastination. Why do we do it and how to stop doing it. That's what you would like to hear from here.
Kathi 04:06
You took the words right out of my mouth Daisy, to quote Meatloaf (laughter). One of my favorites.
Daisy 04:12
Well, let's think of it, why do we do it? So let's say I need to go to the post office. Very simple thing, very simple task to do, depending on where you live, because in the area where I live, there's a line of 15 people and sometimes the post office is too small because you need to be six feet apart nowadays. And then you need to stand outside and all I can do is you know, use my fan. I'm cooler than you are. And then stand out there and wait. Logically, it would make sense to procrastinate, because it's not that amazing experience to go there, get it done. But, when I focus on how I will feel once it's done, now that can be already a motivation. And that's the key.
Kathi 04:58
Yes, yes. In fact, I think that's a nail because I would think of what I would want to do straight after. As soon as I get it done. I'm going to do this.
Daisy 05:10
The reward. And I do believe that is important. But now let's go a little step deeper. Procrastination is fear. People can come and say, no, no, this is not true. I do believe that there's, I rarely use generalizations, but I do it today. Procrastination always has some fear to it; why? I go to the post office, and then I think, oh, maybe then I will be late to do other tasks. When I stand there in line and will take me one hour.
Kathi 05:41
Yeah.
Daisy 05:42
Or let's say I'm going to rehearsal. Ow, but what if I'm not going to be good enough? Or somebody who is going to write an exam, and they procrastinate. Oftentimes, when I work with students, what I find out is that they already have a belief within them, it doesn't really matter, because I won't be good enough anyways.
Kathi 06:09
Oh
Daisy 06:10
Yeah. So therefore, it makes sense that they procrastinate.
Kathi 06:14
Yeah.
Daisy 06:15
Now, let me go one step deeper. When people then feel low in self-esteem, it doesn't make any sense anyways, why should I do it at all? Nobody will appreciate what I did. That won't be a good outcome. Hmm? Then, that is when they accepted other people's opinions. And now comes a flip that happens in the subconscious mind. It does not happen consciously. Sometimes it does, most of the time, it's not conscious. When then they say, okay, I have rather tell myself, I'm not good enough. I rather tell myself I knew I won't pass the exam, so when other people then later on, tell me, I can only say to myself inside internally, some people say it out loud, but we have lots of conversation communication going on in our own heads. And then I can say, I knew it, was worthless. I knew it, I'm stupid. I knew it, I can't do it. Now, how can we reverse that? Something not clear here?
Kathi 06:54
I'm just thinking about what you just said because I want to make sure that I connect all the dots.
Daisy 07:34
Okay. So how did you connect the dots?
Kathi 07:37
I was just thinking that what you were saying is that we are trying to stay congruent with our self-beliefs. So if we make the self-belief already that we're worthless when people tell it to us, it's congruent with that. And that's why it can be so hard to change that self-belief.
Daisy 07:57
And then why would you not procrastinate? When you don't see value in what you're going to do, it is not meaningful to you, then why would you do it?
Kathi 08:10
So really, the trick here is to actually look inside a little bit when you find yourself procrastinating and figure out what's at the root of it so you'd ask yourself some questions about why am I feeling this way? Why am I...
Daisy 08:28
I would not do that.
Kathi 08:29
No?
Daisy 08:30
I would not do that because why is very destructive and I'd say a downward spiral question because the brain is like an answering machine. It's like a scanner you ask Oh, why does that always happen to me? And your brain goes d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d scanning like everything through it and then you will find 1001 answers. So I suggest asking why only in positive settings. So for example, why am I so lucky that I found this parking spot when there never is one? or Why am I so lucky? I found $1 bill on the ground? Wow. Yay. Why am I so lucky that I got this new job? That's when you want to ask yourself because that is when you give this question to your mind. And then again, your mind goes like a scanner d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d and it will actually find justifications why you deserve what you feel just lucky about.
Kathi 09:23
But yeah, it's happening in a positive way now.
Daisy 09:26
Yeah
Kathi 09:26
Yeah, sure.
Daisy 09:28
But back to the procrastination, I would not ask myself why am I procrastinating? I would start giving it a different meaning. Not to procrastination, but the task that's on my list. For example, I need to clean the house. But is it really so much fun?
Kathi 09:45
Oh, this is one of my big ones. Daisy. I'm not good at cleaning. Like surface cleaning, yes, sure, everyday stuff but scrubbing showers is not my thing. (Laughter)
Daisy 09:58
I don't blame you. I don't blame you. So whoever's out there and can invent the self- scrubbing shower, I'm one of your first, I bought it already. (Laughter)
Kathi 10:11
If they can make dishwashers that clean themselves, why can't they make a bath that cleans itself? (More laughter)
Daisy 10:18
So, what is the meaning? What does it, do you want to be the, not guinea pig, what's a better word for guinea pig?
Kathi 10:26
I was going to say guinea pig! (Laughter)
Daisy 10:30
I don't want to call you a guinea pig here. Volunteer. Would you like to volunteer?
Kathi 10:37
Sure. I'll volunteer. I have no idea what I'm volunteering for here people (still laughing).
Daisy 10:44
Probably feel safe with me.
Kathi 10:45
Chuck me in it. I'm in.
Daisy 10:48
So okay, scrubbing the shower, so cleaning the shower
Kathi 10:51
Right.
Daisy 10:51
What does it mean to you in your own words?
Daisy 10:57
It's, it's a chore that has to be done regularly to prevent a worse problem later.
Daisy 11:04
A chore that needs to be done to prevent the worse problem later. Okay.
Kathi 11:09
Yeah.
Daisy 11:10
If I think about, let's say making a meal for my favorite people in my life, and I would think well, it is a chore.
Kathi 11:18
No, I like cooking (laughing)
Daisy 11:20
No, I'm talking about, me too. No, stay with me. No escape here. Stay with me. But what you're telling yourself, maybe not consciously, but let's say you're looking forward to invite people over and cook for them and have a great time with people you really care for, what will be a good time that you will be having and they will enjoy it and will be just great. But let's say your mindset and this is Mindset Evolution podcast, by the way. (Laughter)
Kathi 11:54
Your host is guinea pig, Kathi. (They just keep on laughing)
Daisy 12:02
She's a volunteer!
Kathi 12:05
I don't... guinea pigs are cute, Daisy, I'm okay with it.
Daisy 12:11
Fine. Okay, I respect that. But let's say you invited for dinner, your favorite people.
Kathi 12:19
Yeah.
Daisy 12:19
And while you're preparing, what you're rehearsing in your mind is, what's a chore to do to prevent the worst thing from happening later. How much fun will it be cooking?
Kathi 12:36
I've got to tell you why I'm finding this so funny, because, because the last time it was about probably a week ago, I actually did have some friends over to dinner and because of that, I actually cleaned the bathroom. (Laughter)
Daisy 12:55
Let me ask you this. Was it as bad as it usually was to clean the bathroom?
Kathi 13:01
No, because I had a great reason, my friends were coming and I don't want them to know I'm really secretly a bathroom sloth. Their bathroom's always perfect.
Daisy 13:15
But you've got the key now?
Kathi 13:16
Yes.
Daisy 13:17
Change what you're telling yourself
Kathi 13:19
yes
Daisy 13:19
and it will be a different experience. That's the key. Thank you for volunteering.
Kathi 13:23
And I think there's something certainly to the reward system here. Not materially,
Daisy 13:29
no, but in your mind. But in the meantime, look, I don't know if I mentioned that in the podcast or in one of our Facebook Lives or interviews. I don't remember what I said when, but I have a vacuum cleaner, and it's Ferrari red, so I call it Ferrari. And I take Ferrari out of the closet and then it changed my attitude.
Kathi 13:49
Yeah, I love that.
Daisy 13:50
And then I al`so like to use future pays. So after you did it, how will you feel when you now let's say here's this horrible bathtub that you need to clean and you need to scrub the shower and clean the bathroom. And for you it's just a horrible chore and you really dislike doing it. Put that aside for a moment and just imagine yourself for a moment you can close your eyes if you want to, mind you listeners are out there driving, don't close your eyes. Keep both hands on the steering wheel. Keep your eyes open, but later on, close your eyes. And just imagine how you will feel after you did it, what you try to procrastinate today.
Kathi 14:32
I will feel a lot better.
Daisy 14:34
There you go. Now imagine a magnet. And if you have a magnet, you have the positive pole you have the negative pole, one side tosses, the other one is attracting depending on where you use the magnet on. Now you want to have on the other side of the tunnel, after scrubbing the bathroom, you want to have something that's attractive. That helps you go through it quicker, faster, better, maybe with more smiles on your face. And then in the meantime, what you're telling yourself, if you keep really this bathtub and that shower, poor thing, it's here to serve you. It may be, would like to be something else, but it cannot. Ha-ha, you see now it gets emotion. Now when you have a different attitude to the chore that you're going to do, and you have something how you will feel you know exactly how you will be feeling after you did it. Now you have two things that are helping you to go through it.
Kathi 15:34
Yes, yes. And I'm going to add one more. Because I think that when we do procrastinate, and we know we're doing, I think it sits here like on your shoulders, and you know that you're supposed to do it, but you're deliberately not doing it and you're putting it off and you're having this whole dialogue about it. And you still decide to procrastinate longer, like that burden will be gone. So there's the third reason for moving forward. Because that feels good to get rid of that.
Daisy 16:05
Yes.
Kathi 16:06
Doesn't matter how little the thing is, it's still there.
Daisy 16:09
Yes. And you really put something very interesting out there. Because when we feel that kind of yeah, I should do it. I should be doing it. I don't do it. I don't want to do it. All that chitchat that's going on within us. And we know we should be doing it. What does it trigger? The guilt?
Kathi 16:29
Yeah.
Daisy 16:30
And guilt is quite dark.
Kathi 16:31
Yeah.
Daisy 16:31
So we don't want that. And to give another example, when you give it meaning, what you're going to do, and you can always change the meaning you give it. You know, in the operation room where they do surgeries, there's one person assigned to count all the instruments and utensils before and after every surgery.
Kathi 16:52
Yes.
Daisy 16:52
Now, every five, six, ten-year-old could do that, because it's only about counting, depending on how far they got in counting numbers. But there's such a big meaning.
Kathi 17:04
Oh, yes
Daisy 17:04
It's so important. It has value. And therefore, people actually stand in line to get that job. It's very highly acknowledged and appreciated. So when you change the meaning, there's this student girl I'm working with in Germany and she had an exam just while it didn't go so well so she has to redo it. And her parents are mad at her and she's mad at herself and she knows she needs to do it. And she's actually, I think, fortunate that you get another chance. If she doesn't do well in this chance, then that's it, study over. And she says yeah, well, you know, and procrastination. And I also tell her, look, you will have to do it either way, or not, what life do you want to live? And then she tells me, I did a future pace with her. How would she like to have a life in 10 years? I said, Okay, so nine years from now, what do you need to do to achieve that already 10 years from now? What do you need to do five years from now to achieve your goal in 10 years from now? What is it that you can do right here today to support these goals? In order smoothly? And then she said I need to sit down and study. I said here you go.
Kathi 18:20
Bingo.
Daisy 18:21
You see? Yeah, yeah?
Kathi 18:25
Yeah.
Daisy 18:25
So it is not about how to find out or why we should find out or about finding out at all, why we do procrastinate. You have a million reasons to procrastinate. I rather focus on find the million reasons why stop doing it. Now what we can do when it's overwhelming when it's a big task, I suggest make a commitment. You start doing it but only for two minutes. Start doing it and you will only do it for two minutes. And once you're in there usually you get it rolling.
Kathi 19:01
Yeah, you know what that does work with cleaning I have to say because if you start one bit and then the rest all looks terrible, so you just keep going don't you? It's the actual starting that's the hard part. I actually turn music on to help me do that because at least if I can do a dance
Daisy 19:19
yeah,
Kathi 19:19
dance
Daisy 19:20
I'm in the groove
Kathi 19:21
with my cleaning rags. I can, like, let's roleplay Cinderella maybe, but at least I have some fun with myself while I'm doing it, so.
Daisy 19:31
Yes. And I suggest also to hold yourself accountable. So put out a plan Okay, which are the areas in your life where you procrastinate. Let's say its cleaning, scrubbing the poor little bathtub or shower, will never look at that shower the same way again.
Kathi 19:47
No (Laughter)
Daisy 19:51
It wants to be clean!
Kathi 19:52
I feel like I need to go and clean it now
Daisy 19:54
by the end of the episode because Kathi needs to
Kathi 19:57
go and clean the shower (laughter).
Daisy 20:01
That was it for today. And how would you sell accountable for example, I'm procrastinating when it comes to shopping, I procrastinate learning a specific sequence of my studies, I procrastinate washing my car, or cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the house, and then just put it out there and hold yourself accountable. So these are tests that eventually I'm going to do. Now, how much better will I feel when I have that already behind me?
Kathi 20:31
Yes.
Daisy 20:32
And then just start doing it for two minutes. And after two minutes, you can look at your watch. Or nowadays, rarely people wear watches anymore. Look at your phone or your computer or iPad, whatever you have. And after two minutes, you can make a new decision to just simply continue.
Kathi 20:51
Yes,
Daisy 20:53
there's this lady and she said, Yeah, she can stay on a diet for two weeks. And she was devastated. She says I can do it for two weeks, easily no problem at all. And after two weeks, I just that's it. I'm done with it. I need to eat. I need to give myself the freedom to choose. And I said, Great. Do that for one day, and then start again for two weeks.
Kathi 21:14
Hmm
Daisy 21:15
Oh, it was lovely. She lost her kilos. They were just falling off of her. So she knew that she would be able to do it for two weeks.
Kathi 21:24
Yes.
Daisy 21:24
And all we needed to do give her one break and then continue what she's capable of doing? Yeah,
Kathi 21:29
Yeah, I believe that works. I loosely use that myself.
Daisy 21:32
Yeah, well, you're using a different program.
Kathi 21:35
I have a breakout day. I don't usually eat things like chocolate because I don't eat lactose. But occasionally I'll find a brand I can eat.
Daisy 21:46
Yeah, that's okay too.
Kathi 21:48
Keep it rare is the secret.
Daisy 21:49
That's okay, too. And then after you did it for two minutes, or four minutes, or maybe for 24 minutes, or for two hours, whatever the chore was, or the task that you're procrastinating. Give yourself a reward.
Kathi 22:03
Yes
Daisy 22:04
Not in shape or form of chocolate or ice cream or not cake.
Kathi 22:08
No
Daisy 22:08
No, internally. Give yourself what you would tell someone who just did it for you.
Kathi 22:16
Yes.
Daisy 22:17
Now that's an easy thing, because it's so much easier to applaud someone else.
Kathi 22:21
Yes,
Daisy 22:22
or to appreciate someone else.
Daisy 22:23
And then just write it down on a piece of paper, you know, I'm so glad you did that because wow, it's really, the shower looks like bling bling. It's just wow, it shines. And it's so awesome. It's such a wonderful feeling stepping into the bathroom. Write it down what you would say if somebody else would have done it, or going to the post office, or standing in line for I don't know what, or doing something, mowing the lawn, or bringing the child to somewhere where it's supposed to go, but I'm not really in the mood to, and then just write it down on a piece of paper how you appreciate if a person would have done that for you. And then just leave it there. Just leave it there. And sooner or later, you will come across it and then you'll probably smile at yourself and actually I did it.
Kathi 22:23
It is.
Kathi 23:10
I think that we should put them in a box and collect them.
Daisy 23:15
You can do that too. I know you're the jar collector you like to put things in jars
Kathi 23:19
I like to do things like that. I have a version of a self-love box and a vision box.
Daisy 23:24
Yeah?
Kathi 23:25
Yeah,
Daisy 23:26
You can do that too.
Kathi 23:27
Yeah, I think collect them. I think that's a really great thing to do is to actually express gratitude to yourself, and write it down.
Daisy 23:36
Give yourself what you would like to receive.
Kathi 23:39
Yeah,
Daisy 23:39
But we are just like, humans really have a tendency to be so hard on themselves. And they can be so generous with others when it comes to compliments. And most humans are just so hard on themselves.
Kathi 23:53
Yes.
Daisy 23:54
Well, let's stop doing that.
Kathi 23:56
That's true. I second that we are nicer to ourselves. Definitely. Yeah,
Daisy 24:01
So let's turn it around. Give yourself what you always needed to get.
Kathi 24:05
Yes
Daisy 24:06
That's what I'd do.
Kathi 24:07
I love it. I love it. So please do let us know if you love that too. And that is so how complimenting yourself works for you. We certainly love having them. So we would like to say a big thank you to all of our supporters out there. People have reached out to us with their feedback and their questions and their topic ideas. We love hearing from you. So please keep sending us feedback. You can do that on our website, baldandblonde.live, from within our Facebook group Dream Life Creators Baldwarrior or simply by messaging us because we're both on Facebook too.
Daisy 24:50
You can find us on all social media.
Kathi 24:53
I'm hard to miss
Daisy 24:53
On Twitter to Facebook, Instagram, and we have a new Instagram page actually. So It is Bald and Blonde Live. And you can find us there you can follow us and we're going to put up stories about what we're doing, how we're doing it, thoughts and kind of gold nuggets that we just spread and share with you. So follow us there. Bald and Blonde Live on Instagram.
Kathi 25:19
We'd love to have you with us on Instagram. So we will wrap things up for today there. Thank you, Daisy for your wisdom, as always. Thank you to our listeners out there for your time. We really appreciate you. Please share us with your family and friends because we want to help change as many lives as we can. Thanks from me, Kathi Tait from Australia,
Daisy 25:45
and Daisy Papp from the Florida Keys and come visit us on Instagram Bald and Blonde live. And also thank you so very much for spreading the word about our podcast. We're so passionate about it. But now let's end this procrastination and let's just say goodbye.
Kathi 26:04
Goodbye from Bald and Blonde
Daisy 26:07
Mindset Evolution, bye.
Kathi 26:09
See you next time.
Daisy 26:12
Thank you for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. If you love what you're hearing, please subscribe to our podcast. In our show notes, you can find the link to our Facebook group where you can personally connect with Daisy and Kathi and the link to our website where you can find all of our previous episodes and much more of goodies so you can get the most value. Please leave us a review on Apple podcasts, that really helps our show and helps us to get some powerful feedback from you. Thank you so much for listening. Talk to you soon.