SUMMARY KEYWORDS

communication, laughter, podcast, parents, share, speak, communicate, foul language, absolutely, life, person, episode, teenager, agree, listening, support, important, comment, dialogue

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:02

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the mindset evolution podcast hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are until your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:26

Hi everybody. This is Kathi Tait, the baldwarrior here talking to you live from Australia on the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. And with me as always is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys. Hi Daisy, how are you?

Daisy 00:43

Hi, I'm extremely well thank you so much for making your time in a timely manner to meet again and to do this because this is so exciting and I love doing it and I'm very busy on the other hand, of course with clients, but I just make it a priority to take that time and set it aside and don't take appointments and don't work late at night, but meet with you to make the world a better place. And this is just lovely. How are you, my dear friend?

Kathi 01:13

Wow, I love that Daisy, because we have done a whole episode around time. And we actually mentioned being on time in our last episode as well, which was on boundaries. 

Kathi 01:25

I am great Daisy. I'm having a very busy and very productive week. So I'm excited to be here also and dedicate this time to our special baby, this podcast where we get to help people out there and today, I've decided we're going to talk about communication. 

Daisy 01:43

Mmh?

Kathi 01:44

Now it is a bit of a lead on from our last episode where we spoke about boundaries. And in that episode, Daisy brought up a really important key point that I think is so important to communication that I think we're going to talk about it again briefly. In case you haven't listened to the last episode, but if you haven't guys, you must go back and do that. So before we get into that, communication to me is a two-way street. I think success in communication relies on one person being able to express themselves and the other person being willing to listen to understand. And if any of those elements aren't quite right, communication can go very wrong very fast. To bring us back to the important key point is Daisy was speaking about the first person singular and what that means within the communication framework. Can we revisit that briefly Daisy to explain what I'm talking about?

Daisy 02:49

Of course, anything. Before I go there to first person singular, let me express my okay because we're communicating right? (Laughter). Healthy communication to me is to understand and be understood without the need to be right. 

Kathi 03:05

Yes. 

Daisy 03:06

So that's a very important essential part, I'd say without the need to be right.

Kathi 03:11

Absolutely. I absolutely agree with that. 

Daisy 03:14

I'm glad you do. (Laughter) So that is one part. Then the next thing is when you say it's a two-way street, it depends on the form of communication, our listeners out there, it's a one way street to them. They are listening to us.

Kathi 03:28

That is true. And of course we address that by putting the ability to give us feedback everywhere. (Laughter)

Daisy 03:37

True, in the group and even on the website, that's brand new, because we have just amazing news, but I let Kathi pop that pop of news. 

Daisy 03:48

We want to define, okay, what is it? Is it a monologue, or is it a dialogue? Mono means okay, it's one. Those who are in the music industry are doing podcasts or recording or listening to music, you usually enjoy stereo, much more than mono. Me personally, I do, I think other music lovers as well. Once it is agreed upon that this is going to be a dialogue, then both parties should be responsible to be open both ways. 

Kathi 04:18

Yes

Daisy 04:19

So when I'm speaking, I'm the one sending a message. You can imagine now, an old fashioned envelope where I'm putting something in there that I want to send to Kathi, and then she's the receiver. Now I can actually look, is it a good time that I'm sending, is she occupied, is she in the mood? That's what I can control kind of thing by my observation. That I sent the message and then now I turn into the receiver, because you become the sender. It's like the two tennis giants, Djokovic and Federer, I know there are others out there too, but I'm still, I like Roger Federer, yes Switzerland and who is number one, these gentlemen, on and off the tennis courts, my personal applause to him. And on the tennis court, what do they do? The ball goes back and forth, so that there must be some flow in the communication. And of course, it is helpful when we speak the same language. 

Kathi 05:17

Very helpful.

Daisy 05:18

Because wenn ich jetzt mit dir auf Deutsch weiterspreche, dann verstehst du mich nicht mehr, pause, because you're trying to find any data that's related to 

Kathi 05:28

not even one word (Laughter)

Daisy 05:32

I just said in German that if I continue speaking German to you, then you would probably not understand one word of it. So I think it is helpful that we speak in a language that we can agree upon, we both understand and enjoy. 

Kathi Tait 05:46

Yes

Daisy 05:47

I can give you an example about that. My son and I, we both speak three languages, the same three languages and we switch back and forth and something and sometimes he says mom, can you say it in German, please? if he's in the mood, or if he's not in the mood to set sail in English, so that's okay. And then we can agree upon. So that's why the part of language can be really important. 

Daisy 06:09

And then the next thing is okay is the other person open to receive, because let's say you're absolutely stressed, you're late, you have two other tests to do and it's almost midnight and you're tired and you have toothache and you have headaches and you need to go use the bathroom. It's probably not an opportune moment to communicate to you about the vacation we want to take in 2025 or the retreats that we're planning on doing in Fiji next year, so it's probably not opportune. So it's my responsibility. 

Daisy 06:36

And then when we communicate, what is it, it's actually it's sharing and caring. So I share with you what's going on in my head, my thoughts. I share with you what's going on in my heart, my feelings, emotions, I share with you, maybe some of my concerns, I share with you some of my experiences and then that is the tennis, is just going back and forth. And we are not like two tennis players on the court. This is not about winning the US Open or the Australian Open, none of that, mmh?

Kathi 07:07

No 

Daisy 07:07

That's what communication is not! But the ball in this metaphor, the back and forth, that is why it's a dialogue. So let's go back to the tennis court, because communication can be healthy and we can discuss something or we can move forward, we can come to a conclusion, to an agreement or we come to laughter together, or we cry together. These are all aspects of communication. 

Kathi 07:32

Yes. 

Daisy 07:33

And the communication is only over when I put down my racket. Game over. Okay, so we discussed that there are these people they repeat themselves over and over again.

Kathi 07:43

(Whispering) I have a couple of family members. (Laughter and indistinct whispering...we agree not....not close family.) I know a couple people like that in my life that do tend to repeat themselves. 

Daisy 08:01

So what do you do then? 

Kathi 08:02

Then there was this one particular person who was just an acquaintance and I genuinely didn't know what to do because she thought she was funny. She would tell these stories and laugh at herself and it was like, she was just entertaining yourself. But she also would repeat things and tell the same stories over and over. 

Daisy 08:22

What did you do? How did you respond? 

Kathi 08:24

 I didn't hang out with her as much.

Daisy 08:26

How sad, I think.

Kathi 08:28

Yeah, because in those days, there's no way I would have confronted somebody with that in fear of hurting their feelings. Which we spoke about last episode.

Daisy 08:40

Yeah. 

Kathi Tait 08:40

Boundaries. 

Daisy 08:40

The boundaries episode

Kathi 08:41

Yeah. 

Daisy 08:41

So okay, but let's go back to communication. 

Kathi 08:44

Yes. 

Daisy 08:45

Because maybe the two of you could have had great communication had you communicated with her, that it's not that entertaining for you when she's repeating the same story over and again, so there was a lack of communication producing some problem. 

Kathi 09:01

Yeah, sure, yeah. 

Daisy 09:02

Now part of communication is also that I share with you, I help you remember that you already told me, so I can do that in a gentle way. I can say, I remember you already told me that. I help you remember what you did or didn't say.

Kathi 09:18

Yeah

Daisy 09:18

That's gentle. And maybe she could have told you some incredible life stories, or maybe laughed together or maybe laughed about her telling the same story again, because the moment when we stop communication, that's quite a statement too, isn't it? 

Kathi 09:32

Yes, it is. 

Daisy 09:33

So you see, there's so many aspects it's exciting. Communication is so important. I love it, by the way, when I see people who communicate through sign language.

Kathi 09:43

Oh, they're amazing, aren't they?

Daisy 09:45

And they can be so expressive, and it is, wow, I wish I understood, mmh?

Kathi 09:51

Yes, for sure.

Daisy 09:52

So you see, communication is very important. Now what I think is very good for all humans, be fair, choose your words wisely and remember foul language is a no go. 

Kathi 10:03

Yeah.

Daisy 10:03

I don't care where anyone acquired their talents of using foul language. It's a no go. Because the moment I add that kind of, to me personally unnecessary, spice into communication, it goes a certain way. Leave it out, try to leave it out. Actually, let me correct that. I do care where you acquired the foul language. Let's address it. Let's heal it and stop doing it because you will feel better about yourself.

Kathi 10:30

That's a great point. Daisy. Absolutely,

Daisy 10:32

Yes, I got a point. Yes. (Laughter)

Kathi 10:37

Let's give our listeners a simple communication exercise they can go home and do with someone in their family.

Daisy 10:45

First person singular. 

Daisy 10:46

Now I go back to your requests next time when you say hey, you're leaving the socks out there again, turn it around, speak what you're observing as if you were a surveillance camera. I see some socks here and I'm not really sure what I should think about that. That's a great skill. By the way, the mother of one of my teachers, she was so elegant because instead of her reacting, she always inserted that little thingy. She asked herself a question. She did this in German language. And she asked as to what should I think about that now? So she gained some time to respond instead of react. So next time you see the laundry still in the hallway, or on the floor, or on the bedroom, or the couch or wherever, just say what you're experiencing and share how it makes you feel. And then add your request what you would like instead. That's clear and then let's see what happens. Give us feedback. 

Daisy 11:38

I love that. I love that, so simple. And how about one that a teenager could do?

Daisy 11:45

A teenager? 

Kathi 11:45

Yes. 

Daisy 11:46

What would be a topic? What's the context?

Kathi 11:48

How about they have got a new boyfriend or girlfriend and the parents trying to ask about it and they don't want to talk about it, but they also don't want to cause conflict with their parent.

Daisy 12:00

Okay, so we're trying to help the parents out there or the teenager, hmm? Two different things. (Laughter)

Kathi 12:09

I don't know, I have a feeling that this will reach into some teenagers' ears, so let's do it from the teenager's point of view.

Daisy 12:16

So let's say that there is a nagging parent, hey, but tell me that so you have a girlfriend finally or you have a boyfriend now or what's going on there, is that the kind...?

Kathi 12:24

Yeah, yeah. And all the stuff that parents do around that can be very frustrating for a teenager when they just want to do their thing. 

Daisy 12:33

Explore. I think for all teenagers out there, when your parents are caring parents, they can still be annoying at times. I'm a mother myself. And so is Kathi.

Kathi 12:42

I am, yes. 

Daisy 12:43

We do really care for what you do at all times, all the time, a lifetime long. So you will not be able to outgrow this. It will not go to disappear. That's it, that's mom.

Kathi 12:56

We can both attest to that, mine's 26, yours is 28, I think?

Daisy 13:01

No sir he's just turned 30 (laughter & indistinct comments)

Kathi 13:08

It doesn't change no matter how old they get.

Daisy 13:11

Imagine that your parents care, they don't ask for nagging. They don't ask because they want to nag you, they ask probably because they're curious. They want to know what's going on in your life and they want to also be sure that you're okay, wherever you are in your life.

Kathi 13:26

Yes, it is often your safety whether it seems reasonable or not, parents worry about their kids.

Daisy 13:32

Yeah. So now as a teenager, what you can do. Let's say your parent asked you once, I would be frank, I'd say, depends if you have a new friend or not. Yes, I'm trying to figure out I really like that one person and I thought it's a wise thing to get to know them better. 

Kathi 13:47

Hey, kids say that to your parents and see if it leaves them speechless. (laughter)

Daisy 13:56

Could be.

Kathi 13:56

I think it might.

Daisy 14:00

 And then here to the parents let's... because I don't want to abandon them in this case scenario.

Kathi 14:04

No, let's help them too.

Daisy 14:05

Parents, yes. Ask them. And if you have the experience that your children are honest, sincere, then believe them. If you have a cheeky sneaky child that has the tendency to bend here a little bit or bend there a little bit, then there's a different problem involved as well, that can be addressed. When it's about, okay, let's build trust here, because you're going to be a grown up shortly and I would like to make sure that you're aware of it, how important it is for me that you're responsible human being that is sincere and can be trusted, because I want to treat you as a young adult. And in order for me to do that, I need to be able to trust you and know that when you say something to me that I can take it to the bank that it's true.

Kathi 14:49

Absolutely. And I think that is an extremely important pillar in any of our relationships, and it's especially apparent when we're talking about teenagers 'cause you go through so much as a teenager and having your parent on your side is going to make your life a lot easier. And I worked hard to build a great relationship with my son when he was a teenager, so he felt safe in coming to me with anything he was struggling with. So, you know, we want to support and encourage that.

Daisy 15:20

I think honesty is very key. That's another part of communication. Unless I'm a stand up comedian and tell you the green, the blue and the yellow from the walls, then that's my job because I'm entertaining you in that setting. But I do believe that honesty is very important, because otherwise, who am I lying to? I'm setting up already lies in the entire setting. 

Kathi 15:40

Absolutely. 

Daisy 15:41

So if I want honesty, then I better be an honest person. 

Kathi 15:44

Absolutely 

Daisy 15:44

Agreed?

Kathi 15:45

Yes, absolutely. Definitely another pillar. 

Daisy 15:48

And I want to say I honestly appreciate our supporters. Thank you so much. Really, that's wonderful. Thank you, what a nice gesture to share with us that you appreciate what you're doing and your comments as well with the support, so that we can keep up with our technical stuff here and the staff.

Kathi 16:04

Yes.

Daisy 16:05

That's wonderful, thanks so much.

Kathi 16:07

We're very thankful for everyone out there who's supported us in all the ways they can. And actually we have a little announcement today we have... 

Daisy 16:16

Bring it on! 

Kathi 16:19

We have just launched our website, the home of the Bald and Blonde podcast and the address is baldandblonde.live. So you can head over there and check out information about Daisy and I and our backgrounds and to get access to all the other things that we do. Plus we have special write-ups on each episode, the ability to listen right there on the website, and so much more. We are going to produce special podcast packs for every episode we do that helps you dive deeper into the topic, into the lessons we discuss and give you some exercises that you can actually do at home. So we're really excited. Every episode that has been published to date has a podcast pack there for you to go and download today. So check it out!

Daisy 17:15

That's wonderful, so much effort in that and I believe this is the future of learning because you can go precisely to topic and you can dive in deeper, you can share, you can learn something, change your own life, create the life you really dream of. That's why it's called Dream Life Creators on Facebook in the group and we share a lot of specials there that are dear to us. And you can get to know us a little bit closer as we are sharing some personal insights and we share some live videos and we say hello to everyone. And if you have a question just come on and ask us because we believe that it's part of communication to ask questions.

Kathi 17:54

Absolutely. And that group is designed to be there to support you guys with what you're going through and help you create change in your life. So we do urge you to come on over and join us and get to know Daisy and I much better as there's a lot of stuff happening in there that you will not see anywhere else. So we're going to wrap it up for our episode on communication there today. And we thank you for your time, your support and please do get in touch with us if there's anything you'd like to say. We love feedback. And don't forget to hit subscribe on your favorite podcast listening platform.

Daisy 18:32

That is wonderful. Exactly and share because we share so much with you. So you're welcome to share with us. Thank you so much for listening and talk to you soon. 

Kathi 18:42

See you next time. 

Daisy 18:43

Bye. 

Daisy 18:44

Thank you so much for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde mindset evolution podcast. Make sure you like our podcast, comment and leave us a five-star review. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you consume podcasts. Share with your friends and loved ones. Leave a comment and reach out to us with questions and how we can help you change your life. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Talk to you next time.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

receiving, people, gift, giving, christmas, joy, laughter, feel, person, buy, create, big, world, receiver, giver, deserving, listeners, verbalize, podcast 

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:02

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the Mindset Evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are. And here are your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:28

And hello, everybody and welcome to another episode of Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution. I'm Kathi Tait, the baldwarrior, your host from Australia. And with me is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys, international excellence coach. Hi, Daisy, how are you?

Daisy 00:46

Hello, my dear friend Kathi, thank you so much. I am doing very well, thank you. I'm very busy, of course, with clients, helping them getting their life into a different setting, let's put it this way I try to verbalize it carefully. It is amazing the results that they get and how they can tap into their own power. And it is such a bliss to see; it is really truly worthwhile to invest all the time and passion and the gratitude. Of course, you see it now because when we are recording, dear listeners, we see each other on camera. So behind me is this beautiful flower bouquet that I just received today from a very grateful family as I worked with the daughter, and they're all very happy about that. It's just a bliss, and it's a blessing and it is making my heart dance. Truly,

Kathi 01:42

it is so amazing seeing the transformation that people have, once they actually understand what a difference can be made with such, I've got to say simple techniques, but they're not really simple. They look simple, but I know that they're not. But what you do is astounding, Daisy,

Daisy 02:03

Thank you.

Kathi 02:04

You're welcome. You're very welcome. I have a very special topic for us today Daisy, because it is

Daisy 02:12

throw it at me

Kathi 02:13

It's Christmas

Kathi 02:14

and who doesn't love a good Christmas? (Laughter)

Daisy 02:14

Uh oh

Daisy 02:18

What's your definition, right?

Kathi 02:20

For people all over the world, Christmas means different things. And there are certainly people out there that don't celebrate it at all.

Daisy 02:27

That's right.

Kathi 02:27

But the topic today is bigger than Christmas, it is just great timing to talk about it though. I want to talk about giving and receiving, today. And the reason I want to talk about it is because I find with people that I know, that I work with, that I meet, a lot of people are really good at giving and not so good at receiving. And I think that's probably linked to how we feel about ourselves. What do you think Daisy?

Daisy 03:01

Oh, this is a big one, giving and receiving? I do believe that many people know that giving is very much joy. Receiving though it's the roles are reversed, hmm? And it can trigger, am I deserving? Am I worthy? And when I'm giving, I'm not really thinking about it, oh, no, come on. Not a big deal. Hmm?

Kathi 03:29

Mmm

Daisy 03:29

Sometimes you hear that.

Kathi 03:31

Yes.

Daisy 03:31

But giving and receiving is actually beautiful when it is in balance within ourselves. There are a lot, a lot, a lot of things linked to giving and receiving. Because I do also know people who have difficulty giving.

Kathi 03:49

That's interesting. Yeah.

Daisy 03:51

M'hm

Kathi 03:52

Yeah, I'm sure they're definitely out there. I've always said to people the trick to being able to receive is imagining that the person who is giving to you is getting great joy out of it by giving. So if you don't gratefully receive, then you're robbing that person

Daisy 04:13

I agree

Kathi 04:13

of that joy.

Daisy 04:15

Yes, you're depriving them. I agree with you.

Kathi 04:17

Yes,

Daisy 04:18

very much so. And sometimes when it comes to discussions in my one-on-one sessions, where people address that they have difficulty receiving. I know one person that the two of us know that I'm working with and she has some difficulty receiving and she's always trying to make sure that it's okay to receive and we're working on that. Now that really goes back to the roots of "Am I worthy".

Kathi 04:48

Yes.

Daisy 04:49

And I do believe in one big truth. That's my personal belief and you listeners out there, you're welcome to think about it. Maybe I can inspire you to give it a thought. There are many religions, many faith groups. Nevertheless, we are aware that there's the universe. And whomever created the universe, created the universe, and I do believe that the universe wanted us to be here. That is my belief. That is my truth. I cannot prove it.

Kathi 05:24

Well, that's the thing about faith, isn't it?

Daisy 05:26

Yeah. That's right. So when I think of receiving and am I worthy, if it's too big of a stretch, okay, the universe wanted you to be here, then let's make a shorter stretch, it's maybe easier to walk over that little bridge. When we were born as tiny little cute babies, we had not one second of doubt that we are not deserving and that we are not worthy. None of us is born with that. It is conditioned later on.

Kathi 06:04

Yes,

Daisy 06:05

For example, father sees the boy gets home from the soccer game and then he forgets because he's so excited to get home and he's hungry and thirsty, and he wants to greet the dog and he forgets to take off his dirty shoes. And then the father says no chocolate for you today and no TV. That already planted a little seed into the boy, I'm not deserving. I'm not worthy.

Kathi 06:31

Yeah,

Daisy 06:32

That's when the blame comes in, when we are shamed or blamed. And then we continue shaming and blaming ourselves, feeling insecure, but as tiny little babies we have not one second spent with that, where we needed something, we usually not verbalized it, but we vocalized it for sure. That's when our parents had maybe sleepless nights, or we as parents had sleepless nights. Right?

Kathi 07:02

Yes.

Daisy 07:02

So when we go back to the very beginning, do we deserve or not? I do believe that we all deserve and we're all worthy. And when I'm open for receiving, let me give you an example. I had a client this week, and she's working on creating and generating some really big changes in her life. It is related around her job and also financially. And this week for her session, she was really dressed up very nicely. And at the beginning of the session, we greet each other, we ask how are you? So what's new, and so forth. And I gave her a compliment. I said, you look very pretty today. And she said, Oh no, it's really just nothing. It's nothing. And then I just nailed her down. Because I said, look, I wonder if you can see that this is a little bit confusing. That on one side, you would like to create a wonderful life, filled with abundance in all different areas, living a specific place, specific way, having a specific lifestyle. And then now I'm paying you a compliment, and you just completely built the Chinese wall around you, it cannot reach you. So which one is the truth? Of course, she came to the realization that actually she felt just uncomfortable because she thinks that to be humble, that's how she was raised and conditioned. That then you always play it,

Kathi 08:40

play it small, mmm.

Daisy 08:42

Low, small, tiny so that's what a good girl would do. And I'm teaching her quite the opposite. I tell her, look, you're not that little girl anymore. And when you start surrounding yourself with people who say what they mean and mean what they say, that's one of the basics, basics of communication skills that I'm teaching.

Kathi 09:05

Yes.

Daisy 09:05

That then when she surrounds herself with people who say what they mean, and mean what they say when they say something, then she can stop second guessing or doubting if what was said was meant as well. And that in return can help her to open for receiving.

Kathi 09:26

Yes.

Daisy 09:27

So it is also a trust issue. I can give you an example, a personal example, from my own life. Somebody wanted to give me something really big. The item was $12,000. And I didn't want it and I tell you why I didn't want it. First of all, the item itself was not really on my wish list. I could have used it and was wonderful and really great, but it was not really something that makes my heart sing, mmh?

Kathi 09:57

Mmm

Daisy 09:58

But that was one side of the story. The other side was that I didn't trust the person. Because now how often did it happen to you and to you listeners that a gift was given to you and then you pay for it a thousand times? (Laughter)

Daisy 10:21

But don't you remember, I bought you these flowers? Don't you remember, I paid for our vacation? Don't you remember, I paid for your university, for your education, for your car, for your driver's license....... Then what happens internally, now that's the root cause, there's a trust issue. So when I meet people who I'm fairly new to, and they want to support my work, or my passion, or want to kick me a little bit to write the next book that is already in my head, but it's not on the computer yet. And then they want to support me with specific help. But if I don't trust them, I don't want their help. Now, here's what I say. I said, look, I personally have a sensitivity when it comes to gifts. I'm very open to receiving. But I'm very allergic if somebody gives something to me, and then reminds me of it over and over. So please, before you give me, keep that in mind. I make it clear upfront. Why? Because I burned myself too, by receiving and then I was reminded of it a thousand times. It's exaggerated, but I think it is clear what I'm referring to?

Kathi 11:44

I think yes. So what you're saying is that some people give with strings attached, is how we would say it, though, not giving just freely out of wanting to bring somebody joy or love, laughter that actually giving with an ulterior motive.

Daisy 12:04

M'hm, if the motive is only that. For example, I'm buying you this beautiful dress, but you can only wear it when you're around me, then that already, that's a business deal. That's a contract. But when I gift you that gift, and then I let it go, now that would be the key.

Kathi 12:26

Yes.

Daisy 12:27

And you can do with it whatever you want. If you feel like cleaning your bathroom, I know you don't really like doing that, but if you feel better cleaning your bathroom in that pretty dress that I'm just sending you. This is a made-up story listeners, I'm not sending clothing to Kathi, don't get me wrong. It's just..

Kathi 12:46

And I probably wouldn't clean in a dress. (Laughter)

Daisy 12:51

It's just for the sake of the example that if that would make you feel happy, then actually, my gift reached the goal.

Kathi 13:01

Yes, yes. So pure intentions are a key here. The motive should be to bring someone happiness and not any other hidden agenda.

Daisy 13:14

Joy, help, support, it could be anything. A gardener is happy when he gets a new lawnmower, or somebody who likes screwdrivers and gets the best set in the world, or somebody who likes cooking and then they get these wonderful Japanese knives. Then you do with it whatever you want and I'm going to watch you enjoying it.

Kathi 13:36

I'd probably take them over the dress. (Laughter)

Daisy 13:41

Okay, I would take the lawnmower as well. Because the one that my gardener has, it's quite noisy. I would probably get a little robot that goes every day a little bit, and then drives back into station to recharge.

Kathi 14:00

Yes.

Daisy 14:00

So now also when it comes to gift giving, how often do people give because they feel obligated?

Kathi 14:09

Yes. And at a time of year like Christmas, I think that's certainly the case for the part of the world that celebrates. It's a thing now where it's expected, you know that there will be gifts and if nothing else that can get really expensive all right.

Daisy 14:27

Yes, and it can bring so many disappointments.

Kathi 14:30

Yeah.

Daisy 14:30

Now also there is a competition going on. I bought my wife a new Mercedes for Christmas. What did you get?

Kathi 14:37

Mmm

Daisy 14:38

So, that is the obligation already destroys the joy of giving.

Kathi 14:45

It can if you look at it that way. I don't let it destroy the joy I get. I love to pick out presents that I think the person would really like and be useful. Some people kind of presence that they want whereas I try really hard to think about the person I'm giving it to. And whether it's an obligatory gift because it's Christmas or a birthday, that's tradition to do that it doesn't make any difference to me, I do get real joy out of giving for the sake of it.

Daisy 15:18

But you don't have an expectation attached. That is what I was referring to.

Kathi 15:23

I think there are expectations attached, especially at Christmas that there's going to be

Daisy 15:29

No, but you, but when you are giving or when you're receiving.

Daisy 15:32

Ah, right. Yes, no, I don't have really any expectation other than I hope they like it. Because I put effort into it.

Daisy 15:41

Yes, yes. But that is a very different angle. Hmm?

Kathi 15:45

Yes, for sure.

Daisy 15:46

So I find it so interesting, when it comes to giving and receiving, we can also go to Valentine's Day, that's what's coming up next. Here in America, the day after Christmas Day, they already changed all the decorations gone and everything is full dread cards, teddy bears, chocolate, and so forth. Now, let's understand that these are commercialized celebrations. They are business,

Kathi 16:13

Yes

Daisy 16:14

They have nothing to do with showing love. We just were conditioned. That's what people do. When I think of Valentine's Day, don't you think it would be healthier, and more joy for all parties involved, when they express their love, every day, 365 days a year, all year long? A lifetime long?

Kathi 16:41

Absolutely. I hundred percent agree with you on this because I think that the commercialization of these traditional dates is actually ruining the kind of reason that we started it in the first place. So wipe it, get rid of it. It's really for retail, and I agree, show the person who you love, every single day, don't wait for one day in

the year.

Daisy 17:12

M'hm

Kathi 17:12

Like, that's crazy. It's crazy. It's all about money at the end of the day.

Daisy 17:18

Now when we go back to the holiday season that's coming up, the same thing.

Kathi 17:23

Yes

Daisy 17:24

I can show that special love and care that I feel for someone on any day, I can share my attention, my thoughtfulness on any day. I don't need to pick a day in the calendar for that. But that's a different story. Let's go back to giving and receiving. So you pointed it out very well in the beginning, that giving is oftentimes easier because it brings us joy. And it shows that we are in control, we're capable of, we can. So it feeds a little bit our self-esteem, our worth, self-worth, we feel good about ourselves. And the moment when I'm the giver, the other person being the receiver. If we would look at it as columns, then it might appear that the giver is a little bit higher than the receiver.

Kathi 18:24

Okay

Daisy 18:25

When you have two columns on a piece of paper, usually when they say yeah, they're 25% of women listening to our podcast, 47% men listening to our podcast and this and that percentage is unidentified. And then there is another percentage that cannot be traced. Is it clear what I'm referring to?

Kathi 18:46

Yes.

Daisy 18:47

So when we look at that, then the person we can also go by how tall is a person to give her in the moment of giving is taller than the person receiving? Hmm?

Kathi 18:56

That's probably a better example. clearer.

Daisy 18:59

Hmm. Okay. I'm glad that it pops in my mind. (Laughter)

Daisy 19:05

Then, that makes us feel greater, the moment of giving and the receiver often times feel maybe belittled. Or Oh, wow, look, he gave me that gift or she gave me that gift and how could I possibly return that? Because oftentimes there's an inequality.

Kathi 19:27

Yeah.

Daisy 19:28

So I do believe when it comes to gifting, giving and receiving, give only what you truly can and feel. Not because the media showed you this year, Christmas or birthday or whatever people celebrate out there, whatever they expect, unlink yourself. Get detached from that and feel.

Kathi 19:54

Yeah.

Daisy 19:55

And when you're the receiver, give the other person the joy. of giving.

Kathi 20:02

Yes.

Daisy 20:03

 And you can then enjoy the appreciation for the gift. And then there will be other times where you will be the giver and the other will be the receiver. I know in my life, I have given a lot of myself as a gift in time, work I do work with people who do not have the ability to pay for help, I still help them. And then they sometimes feel ashamed. Well, now I want to show you that I appreciate your value that you bring me and I appreciate your help that you're giving me and I said, look, you show me your appreciation with appreciation. When you will be able to pay, then you pay me. And in the meantime, I hope that you trust my word that I know if I can afford to help you. And I receive in exchange your appreciation, mmh? So giving and receiving, and I do not feel superior. I'm giving because it's needed and it's appreciated.

Kathi 21:08

Yeah.

Daisy 21:10

So when somebody is giving, don't give it because maybe you would be happy receiving it, what Kathi said. What is it that would make them happy? If I buy you a horse, because I love horses, and you're allergic to it, because there are people out there who are allergic to horsehair, then that's not in balance either. So be thoughtful.

Kathi 21:36

Yeah, I definitely don't want a horse. (Laughter)

Daisy 21:40

When you are receiving, then appreciate the ability and capability of the level of thoughtfulness of the giver. Focus on the appreciation and not the item or the magnitude of size, or the value. Sometimes a thank you can mean a million times more than a big gift. I remember as a little child, I was writing letters because I had very little pocket money. And back in the day, we had these coins that we had still Deutschmark and Pfennig. So these were the pennies, and that was before euro. And it would have not been enough to buy something that I knew that my mom or my dad, when they were still alive, would really be happy with. So what I did, I wrote them letters. And I wrote them with the most cheerful heart that I had at the time. And then I made them pretty and I glued some glitter on it. And then I put it in the little box and I put a little bow around it. And I do believe that they appreciated that so much more than if I went out and buy something for the little few marks that I had, deutschmark and buy them something that they wouldn't use or would need or couldn't enjoy.

Kathi 23:01

Yes, I love that story. Because that's how I feel. I think that something with some effort and thought put into it no matter what it is way more valuable than something that you just threw money at.

Daisy 23:16

Hmm. And especially in times like this where there's so much uncertainty around the financial system.

Kathi 23:24

Yes, absolutely, there is. And I know I've heard stories about people going into debt to do Christmas for their kids. But really, you've setting yourself up, they go into debt in order to create this crazy experience, where what you're really doing is your conditioning your kids to expect more. So instead, let's do the opposite. Let's not go and purchase gifts, let's all make each other something.

Daisy 23:58

There might be a little bit of a problem because some people are more gifted and some people are less gifted. But I truly believe the greatest gift truly that we can give one another is our time and full attention.

Kathi 24:13

Yes, absolutely.

Daisy 24:15

That's the greatest gift and the time spent together. So those of you out there who have a little bit of a shortage in financials right now or are concerned about that, then maybe just make an agreement and nothing wrong about stating and sharing hey, I'm a little short right now, I'm not going to be able to give you what you would really like, that I believe you would really like. But I had thought about something that I'm going to take you out for a walk wherever that is. And we're going to have a look and look with our eyes as if we were little children and just observe and focus on that little bug that's sitting on that leaf or see that little butterfly or look at the snowflake, or let's make this snowball and listen to the sound of it while you make it. You see wherever you are around the globe, I believe that humanity is at a turning point that also has to do some call it the big awakening or the Great Awakening. Let's go back to our values. And I detached myself from the commercialized hamster wheel. If I can say that like that, because I do believe in so much more values. And especially here in America, there's so many people with so many different religions and backgrounds. And it is quite the norm that here in America, we say Happy Holidays. Nobody says Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Right?

Kathi 25:59

Yeah, the world's gone PC. Sorry, I'm sticking with Merry Christmas.

Daisy 26:06

Yes, you can do that, you can choose to do that. I have friends of mine, they don't respond to that, because they don't celebrate that at all.

Kathi 26:16

And that's okay. That's everyone's choice. Whether or not they want to celebrate, it is a holiday from only one of the world's religions.

Daisy 26:26

Certainly,

Kathi 26:27

yeah, it is absolutely.

Daisy 26:29

Okay, that's what they choose to do. But then here back to the giving and receiving, let's just gift from the heart. And let's give what you can, and not what is being expected and not what you're supposed to, based on commercials or other people in your surroundings, your community in your society. Just do what you feel. Because many of us, we abandoned ourselves so often, by doing things that were expected, back to your social norm topic that you threw at me one day, not so long ago, then eh, is it possible to uncondition yourself?

Kathi 27:14

Yes, absolutely. And I think if I understand you correctly, you're saying that we don't often enough, just experience the joys of life and live in that moment. And notice the things like the bug on the leaf, or the sound of snow being crushed into a snowball. So let's take it back and focus on those things. Focus on being in the moment with people that are important to you in your life. And let that be the gift.

Daisy 27:51

Gift your time.

Kathi 27:52

Yeah,

Daisy 27:53

 because that's priceless. And it's also timeless.

Kathi 27:56

Yes. time and attention.

Daisy 27:59

Do you know why it's also timeless?

Kathi 28:01

Tell us?

Daisy 28:02

It's not going to go out of fashion?

Kathi 28:05

Yes!

Daisy 28:05

When you create memories, beautiful memories, with intention, with your heart, from your heart through your heart. People will remember that.

Kathi 28:16

I think that's the best gift of all, actually, is creating memories.

Daisy 28:21

Good ones.

Kathi 28:22

Yes, good ones.

Daisy 28:24

Some people call it Silent Night. Make it silent. Speak from your heart. And listen with your heart, giving and receiving.

Kathi 28:36

And so that's our take on giving and receiving and whether you are a Christmas celebration person or not, it is still applicable to everybody out there I think. And it was just good timing that Christmas happens to be in two days. So for everybody that does celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas, for everybody who doesn't Happy Holidays and we will see you again next week with another amazing episode of Bald and Blonde

Daisy 29:07

Mindset Evolution. I wish everyone a wonderful time around the year, here, there, elsewhere anywhere. Bye.

Daisy 29:20

Thank you for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. If you love what you're hearing, please subscribe to our podcast. In our show notes, you can find the link to our Facebook group where you can personally connect with Daisy and Kathi and the link to our website where you can find all of our previous episodes and much more of goodies, so you can get the most value. Please leave us a review on Apple podcasts that really helps our show and help us to get some powerful feedback from you. Thank you so much for listening. Talk to you soon.