SUMMARY KEYWORDS

communication, laughter, podcast, parents, share, speak, communicate, foul language, absolutely, life, person, episode, teenager, agree, listening, support, important, comment, dialogue

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:02

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the mindset evolution podcast hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are until your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:26

Hi everybody. This is Kathi Tait, the baldwarrior here talking to you live from Australia on the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. And with me as always is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys. Hi Daisy, how are you?

Daisy 00:43

Hi, I'm extremely well thank you so much for making your time in a timely manner to meet again and to do this because this is so exciting and I love doing it and I'm very busy on the other hand, of course with clients, but I just make it a priority to take that time and set it aside and don't take appointments and don't work late at night, but meet with you to make the world a better place. And this is just lovely. How are you, my dear friend?

Kathi 01:13

Wow, I love that Daisy, because we have done a whole episode around time. And we actually mentioned being on time in our last episode as well, which was on boundaries. 

Kathi 01:25

I am great Daisy. I'm having a very busy and very productive week. So I'm excited to be here also and dedicate this time to our special baby, this podcast where we get to help people out there and today, I've decided we're going to talk about communication. 

Daisy 01:43

Mmh?

Kathi 01:44

Now it is a bit of a lead on from our last episode where we spoke about boundaries. And in that episode, Daisy brought up a really important key point that I think is so important to communication that I think we're going to talk about it again briefly. In case you haven't listened to the last episode, but if you haven't guys, you must go back and do that. So before we get into that, communication to me is a two-way street. I think success in communication relies on one person being able to express themselves and the other person being willing to listen to understand. And if any of those elements aren't quite right, communication can go very wrong very fast. To bring us back to the important key point is Daisy was speaking about the first person singular and what that means within the communication framework. Can we revisit that briefly Daisy to explain what I'm talking about?

Daisy 02:49

Of course, anything. Before I go there to first person singular, let me express my okay because we're communicating right? (Laughter). Healthy communication to me is to understand and be understood without the need to be right. 

Kathi 03:05

Yes. 

Daisy 03:06

So that's a very important essential part, I'd say without the need to be right.

Kathi 03:11

Absolutely. I absolutely agree with that. 

Daisy 03:14

I'm glad you do. (Laughter) So that is one part. Then the next thing is when you say it's a two-way street, it depends on the form of communication, our listeners out there, it's a one way street to them. They are listening to us.

Kathi 03:28

That is true. And of course we address that by putting the ability to give us feedback everywhere. (Laughter)

Daisy 03:37

True, in the group and even on the website, that's brand new, because we have just amazing news, but I let Kathi pop that pop of news. 

Daisy 03:48

We want to define, okay, what is it? Is it a monologue, or is it a dialogue? Mono means okay, it's one. Those who are in the music industry are doing podcasts or recording or listening to music, you usually enjoy stereo, much more than mono. Me personally, I do, I think other music lovers as well. Once it is agreed upon that this is going to be a dialogue, then both parties should be responsible to be open both ways. 

Kathi 04:18

Yes

Daisy 04:19

So when I'm speaking, I'm the one sending a message. You can imagine now, an old fashioned envelope where I'm putting something in there that I want to send to Kathi, and then she's the receiver. Now I can actually look, is it a good time that I'm sending, is she occupied, is she in the mood? That's what I can control kind of thing by my observation. That I sent the message and then now I turn into the receiver, because you become the sender. It's like the two tennis giants, Djokovic and Federer, I know there are others out there too, but I'm still, I like Roger Federer, yes Switzerland and who is number one, these gentlemen, on and off the tennis courts, my personal applause to him. And on the tennis court, what do they do? The ball goes back and forth, so that there must be some flow in the communication. And of course, it is helpful when we speak the same language. 

Kathi 05:17

Very helpful.

Daisy 05:18

Because wenn ich jetzt mit dir auf Deutsch weiterspreche, dann verstehst du mich nicht mehr, pause, because you're trying to find any data that's related to 

Kathi 05:28

not even one word (Laughter)

Daisy 05:32

I just said in German that if I continue speaking German to you, then you would probably not understand one word of it. So I think it is helpful that we speak in a language that we can agree upon, we both understand and enjoy. 

Kathi Tait 05:46

Yes

Daisy 05:47

I can give you an example about that. My son and I, we both speak three languages, the same three languages and we switch back and forth and something and sometimes he says mom, can you say it in German, please? if he's in the mood, or if he's not in the mood to set sail in English, so that's okay. And then we can agree upon. So that's why the part of language can be really important. 

Daisy 06:09

And then the next thing is okay is the other person open to receive, because let's say you're absolutely stressed, you're late, you have two other tests to do and it's almost midnight and you're tired and you have toothache and you have headaches and you need to go use the bathroom. It's probably not an opportune moment to communicate to you about the vacation we want to take in 2025 or the retreats that we're planning on doing in Fiji next year, so it's probably not opportune. So it's my responsibility. 

Daisy 06:36

And then when we communicate, what is it, it's actually it's sharing and caring. So I share with you what's going on in my head, my thoughts. I share with you what's going on in my heart, my feelings, emotions, I share with you, maybe some of my concerns, I share with you some of my experiences and then that is the tennis, is just going back and forth. And we are not like two tennis players on the court. This is not about winning the US Open or the Australian Open, none of that, mmh?

Kathi 07:07

No 

Daisy 07:07

That's what communication is not! But the ball in this metaphor, the back and forth, that is why it's a dialogue. So let's go back to the tennis court, because communication can be healthy and we can discuss something or we can move forward, we can come to a conclusion, to an agreement or we come to laughter together, or we cry together. These are all aspects of communication. 

Kathi 07:32

Yes. 

Daisy 07:33

And the communication is only over when I put down my racket. Game over. Okay, so we discussed that there are these people they repeat themselves over and over again.

Kathi 07:43

(Whispering) I have a couple of family members. (Laughter and indistinct whispering...we agree not....not close family.) I know a couple people like that in my life that do tend to repeat themselves. 

Daisy 08:01

So what do you do then? 

Kathi 08:02

Then there was this one particular person who was just an acquaintance and I genuinely didn't know what to do because she thought she was funny. She would tell these stories and laugh at herself and it was like, she was just entertaining yourself. But she also would repeat things and tell the same stories over and over. 

Daisy 08:22

What did you do? How did you respond? 

Kathi 08:24

 I didn't hang out with her as much.

Daisy 08:26

How sad, I think.

Kathi 08:28

Yeah, because in those days, there's no way I would have confronted somebody with that in fear of hurting their feelings. Which we spoke about last episode.

Daisy 08:40

Yeah. 

Kathi Tait 08:40

Boundaries. 

Daisy 08:40

The boundaries episode

Kathi 08:41

Yeah. 

Daisy 08:41

So okay, but let's go back to communication. 

Kathi 08:44

Yes. 

Daisy 08:45

Because maybe the two of you could have had great communication had you communicated with her, that it's not that entertaining for you when she's repeating the same story over and again, so there was a lack of communication producing some problem. 

Kathi 09:01

Yeah, sure, yeah. 

Daisy 09:02

Now part of communication is also that I share with you, I help you remember that you already told me, so I can do that in a gentle way. I can say, I remember you already told me that. I help you remember what you did or didn't say.

Kathi 09:18

Yeah

Daisy 09:18

That's gentle. And maybe she could have told you some incredible life stories, or maybe laughed together or maybe laughed about her telling the same story again, because the moment when we stop communication, that's quite a statement too, isn't it? 

Kathi 09:32

Yes, it is. 

Daisy 09:33

So you see, there's so many aspects it's exciting. Communication is so important. I love it, by the way, when I see people who communicate through sign language.

Kathi 09:43

Oh, they're amazing, aren't they?

Daisy 09:45

And they can be so expressive, and it is, wow, I wish I understood, mmh?

Kathi 09:51

Yes, for sure.

Daisy 09:52

So you see, communication is very important. Now what I think is very good for all humans, be fair, choose your words wisely and remember foul language is a no go. 

Kathi 10:03

Yeah.

Daisy 10:03

I don't care where anyone acquired their talents of using foul language. It's a no go. Because the moment I add that kind of, to me personally unnecessary, spice into communication, it goes a certain way. Leave it out, try to leave it out. Actually, let me correct that. I do care where you acquired the foul language. Let's address it. Let's heal it and stop doing it because you will feel better about yourself.

Kathi 10:30

That's a great point. Daisy. Absolutely,

Daisy 10:32

Yes, I got a point. Yes. (Laughter)

Kathi 10:37

Let's give our listeners a simple communication exercise they can go home and do with someone in their family.

Daisy 10:45

First person singular. 

Daisy 10:46

Now I go back to your requests next time when you say hey, you're leaving the socks out there again, turn it around, speak what you're observing as if you were a surveillance camera. I see some socks here and I'm not really sure what I should think about that. That's a great skill. By the way, the mother of one of my teachers, she was so elegant because instead of her reacting, she always inserted that little thingy. She asked herself a question. She did this in German language. And she asked as to what should I think about that now? So she gained some time to respond instead of react. So next time you see the laundry still in the hallway, or on the floor, or on the bedroom, or the couch or wherever, just say what you're experiencing and share how it makes you feel. And then add your request what you would like instead. That's clear and then let's see what happens. Give us feedback. 

Daisy 11:38

I love that. I love that, so simple. And how about one that a teenager could do?

Daisy 11:45

A teenager? 

Kathi 11:45

Yes. 

Daisy 11:46

What would be a topic? What's the context?

Kathi 11:48

How about they have got a new boyfriend or girlfriend and the parents trying to ask about it and they don't want to talk about it, but they also don't want to cause conflict with their parent.

Daisy 12:00

Okay, so we're trying to help the parents out there or the teenager, hmm? Two different things. (Laughter)

Kathi 12:09

I don't know, I have a feeling that this will reach into some teenagers' ears, so let's do it from the teenager's point of view.

Daisy 12:16

So let's say that there is a nagging parent, hey, but tell me that so you have a girlfriend finally or you have a boyfriend now or what's going on there, is that the kind...?

Kathi 12:24

Yeah, yeah. And all the stuff that parents do around that can be very frustrating for a teenager when they just want to do their thing. 

Daisy 12:33

Explore. I think for all teenagers out there, when your parents are caring parents, they can still be annoying at times. I'm a mother myself. And so is Kathi.

Kathi 12:42

I am, yes. 

Daisy 12:43

We do really care for what you do at all times, all the time, a lifetime long. So you will not be able to outgrow this. It will not go to disappear. That's it, that's mom.

Kathi 12:56

We can both attest to that, mine's 26, yours is 28, I think?

Daisy 13:01

No sir he's just turned 30 (laughter & indistinct comments)

Kathi 13:08

It doesn't change no matter how old they get.

Daisy 13:11

Imagine that your parents care, they don't ask for nagging. They don't ask because they want to nag you, they ask probably because they're curious. They want to know what's going on in your life and they want to also be sure that you're okay, wherever you are in your life.

Kathi 13:26

Yes, it is often your safety whether it seems reasonable or not, parents worry about their kids.

Daisy 13:32

Yeah. So now as a teenager, what you can do. Let's say your parent asked you once, I would be frank, I'd say, depends if you have a new friend or not. Yes, I'm trying to figure out I really like that one person and I thought it's a wise thing to get to know them better. 

Kathi 13:47

Hey, kids say that to your parents and see if it leaves them speechless. (laughter)

Daisy 13:56

Could be.

Kathi 13:56

I think it might.

Daisy 14:00

 And then here to the parents let's... because I don't want to abandon them in this case scenario.

Kathi 14:04

No, let's help them too.

Daisy 14:05

Parents, yes. Ask them. And if you have the experience that your children are honest, sincere, then believe them. If you have a cheeky sneaky child that has the tendency to bend here a little bit or bend there a little bit, then there's a different problem involved as well, that can be addressed. When it's about, okay, let's build trust here, because you're going to be a grown up shortly and I would like to make sure that you're aware of it, how important it is for me that you're responsible human being that is sincere and can be trusted, because I want to treat you as a young adult. And in order for me to do that, I need to be able to trust you and know that when you say something to me that I can take it to the bank that it's true.

Kathi 14:49

Absolutely. And I think that is an extremely important pillar in any of our relationships, and it's especially apparent when we're talking about teenagers 'cause you go through so much as a teenager and having your parent on your side is going to make your life a lot easier. And I worked hard to build a great relationship with my son when he was a teenager, so he felt safe in coming to me with anything he was struggling with. So, you know, we want to support and encourage that.

Daisy 15:20

I think honesty is very key. That's another part of communication. Unless I'm a stand up comedian and tell you the green, the blue and the yellow from the walls, then that's my job because I'm entertaining you in that setting. But I do believe that honesty is very important, because otherwise, who am I lying to? I'm setting up already lies in the entire setting. 

Kathi 15:40

Absolutely. 

Daisy 15:41

So if I want honesty, then I better be an honest person. 

Kathi 15:44

Absolutely 

Daisy 15:44

Agreed?

Kathi 15:45

Yes, absolutely. Definitely another pillar. 

Daisy 15:48

And I want to say I honestly appreciate our supporters. Thank you so much. Really, that's wonderful. Thank you, what a nice gesture to share with us that you appreciate what you're doing and your comments as well with the support, so that we can keep up with our technical stuff here and the staff.

Kathi 16:04

Yes.

Daisy 16:05

That's wonderful, thanks so much.

Kathi 16:07

We're very thankful for everyone out there who's supported us in all the ways they can. And actually we have a little announcement today we have... 

Daisy 16:16

Bring it on! 

Kathi 16:19

We have just launched our website, the home of the Bald and Blonde podcast and the address is baldandblonde.live. So you can head over there and check out information about Daisy and I and our backgrounds and to get access to all the other things that we do. Plus we have special write-ups on each episode, the ability to listen right there on the website, and so much more. We are going to produce special podcast packs for every episode we do that helps you dive deeper into the topic, into the lessons we discuss and give you some exercises that you can actually do at home. So we're really excited. Every episode that has been published to date has a podcast pack there for you to go and download today. So check it out!

Daisy 17:15

That's wonderful, so much effort in that and I believe this is the future of learning because you can go precisely to topic and you can dive in deeper, you can share, you can learn something, change your own life, create the life you really dream of. That's why it's called Dream Life Creators on Facebook in the group and we share a lot of specials there that are dear to us. And you can get to know us a little bit closer as we are sharing some personal insights and we share some live videos and we say hello to everyone. And if you have a question just come on and ask us because we believe that it's part of communication to ask questions.

Kathi 17:54

Absolutely. And that group is designed to be there to support you guys with what you're going through and help you create change in your life. So we do urge you to come on over and join us and get to know Daisy and I much better as there's a lot of stuff happening in there that you will not see anywhere else. So we're going to wrap it up for our episode on communication there today. And we thank you for your time, your support and please do get in touch with us if there's anything you'd like to say. We love feedback. And don't forget to hit subscribe on your favorite podcast listening platform.

Daisy 18:32

That is wonderful. Exactly and share because we share so much with you. So you're welcome to share with us. Thank you so much for listening and talk to you soon. 

Kathi 18:42

See you next time. 

Daisy 18:43

Bye. 

Daisy 18:44

Thank you so much for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde mindset evolution podcast. Make sure you like our podcast, comment and leave us a five-star review. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you consume podcasts. Share with your friends and loved ones. Leave a comment and reach out to us with questions and how we can help you change your life. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Talk to you next time.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS 

grateful, gratitude, people, attitude, felt, life, daisy, grump, world, day, laughter, moment, grumpy, absolutely, children, mindset, find, functioning, toes, grows

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:02

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the Mindset Evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are. And here are your hosts Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp

Kathi 00:27

Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution. I'm Kathi Tait, the baldwarrior from down under and with me is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys. Hi, Daisy.

Daisy 00:41

Hi Kathi, my dear friend from down under. Hello from the Florida Keys to the world.

Kathi 00:47

And hello from down under to the world as well. We hope we are finding you well today. We want to say a big thank you for listening to our episode, we really appreciate your support out there guys.

Daisy 01:00

Absolutely, and the emails. We thank those who follow us on Instagram at the baldandblonde.live and those who joined our group, the Dream Life Creators, and it is just so exciting to see how we're growing, and what an impact it has on people's lives. It's wonderful.

Kathi 01:19

It truly is amazing. And that fills me with gratitude, which is actually our topic today, Daisy.

Daisy 01:30

Oh, okay, gratitude. I like that a lot. It's a wonderful topic very rich.

Kathi 01:36

It is. And I think that gratitude is like a secret ingredient. And I don't think that the majority of the world realize how impactful just having gratitude in your attitude can be?

Daisy 01:53

Absolutely, gratitude is one of the highest frequencies that we can live on, or live with. The vibrational frequency of gratitude is higher than the one of love,

Kathi 02:06

which is amazing.

Daisy 02:08

Have you ever thought of it this way? Now, it's relatively easy, though, to tune into that, once you know how to.

Kathi 02:17

Well, that's the secret I want to share with our listeners today, because I believe that if we could promote and encourage more gratitude in the world, it could actually have a huge impact on us.

Daisy 02:30

Hmm, absolutely. Because again, as you said it wonderfully, the attitude of gratitude. When we can learn and shape ourselves towards a healthier attitude, in general, our life experience will be very, very different.

Kathi 02:49

Yes,

Daisy 02:49

If I have nothing to be grateful for, you can always go back to the basics, basics, basics. Which one of your five senses is functioning quite well? Vision, hearing, taste, smell, feeling which one is functioning well? You can be grateful for each of them, or if you're missing one or two, because there are people out there who do, then you can be still grateful for those that function well. Look in the morning when I wake up and then I move my toes and I'm so grateful, I'm so excited, I woke up, I have another day to serve the world and be the best I can today. And I'm so grateful that my tiny little toes they're moving. And then I'm filled already with gratitude. That's true. So, this is not a made-up story. That's how I wake up in the morning. And sometimes I even giggle by myself because I find it so cute that my toes are moving. And sometimes I find it even cute that I find it cute that my toes are moving (laughter).

Daisy 03:59

But that is an attitude and it is learnable. So, where's your focus? Remember, wherever your focus goes, everything grows. When I focus on that mosquito that bit me yesterday and it's still itching and that little blood sucker, why does it do what it's meant to do? Because it's a mosquito, then that is my focus and I will have kind of a different attitude than when I say wow, how great look at my skin. I know I got bit by that stupid mosquito and I still don't like it, but I know that my body has all the properties the ability and capability of healing it. Wonderful, few days and will be gone.

Kathi 04:37

You know that it stops itching as soon as you forget about it. (Laughter)

Daisy 04:42

Well, yes or I think vinegar was a little water is a good idea. Or then they have these little cute creams or whatever you can put. So, it's very interesting but you can be grateful for it. Or you can be ah,

Kathi 04:56

negative?

Daisy 04:57

The itching word with a "b" in front of it about it and you can milk it all day long, hmm?

Kathi 05:03

Mmm

Daisy 05:03

Or you can let it go. That's your attitude, question of attitude and that can be learned. It takes a little while, depends on how you're conditioned, what you learned from the adults and other people in your surroundings when you grew up, hmm?

Kathi 05:18

Definitely

Daisy 05:19

When grandma was always grumpy, then maybe you will have a tendency because this is how people behave, because I need to be grumpy, because that's in, that's cool. Or maybe you were around people who said, well, this is not a big deal, don't you worry about it. And then maybe that is more natural to you. Nevertheless, as adults, we have a choice. As children, we usually don't. But as adults, we can always make a new choice.

Kathi 05:49

I think we have the choices as children, we just perhaps don't realize, because we haven't really been taught that we have these choices. And then of course, choices are probably more limited because we are younger. And there are boundaries around keeping us safe. But I still believe children have just as many choices and I purposely brought my son up that way. So, I just want to stick that in there.

Daisy 06:14

You did it on purpose.

Kathi 06:16

Yes, I did

Daisy 06:17

But when there's a child, five years old, the father, an alcoholic, the stepmother, a drug addict, and they're both physically and emotionally and verbally abusing that child. That child has no choice.

Kathi 06:29

Yes.

Daisy 06:30

So, later on, now, today, as an adult, she has a choice.

Kathi 06:36

Yeah,

Daisy 06:36

She can say, okay, I'm going to clean out my inner world and I'm starting to heal these old wounds.

Kathi 06:42

Yeah

Daisy 06:43

That is what I refer to that sometimes children don't have a choice. But as adults, we can consciously make a decision and say, okay, you know what my new attitude is gratitude. Learn about it, read about it. Listen about it. Hmm?

Kathi 06:57

Yeah.

Daisy 06:58

So, what is gratitude? Give me your definition of gratitude.

Kathi 07:02

Okay, so having gratitude for me is being thankful for whatever is in my life, whatever it is in my life, doesn't matter what it is. I'm thankful for all, all of the things in my life.

Daisy 07:18

I think that's very, very good how you describe it. Because the thankfulness, the appreciation, not taking it for granted, that is so elementary for gratitude.

Kathi 07:32

Yes, you're right. And I have taken things for granted in my life before and...

Daisy 07:38

we all did.

Kathi 07:39

I've lost some of them, because I did.

Daisy 07:42

We all did, I believe. I believe we all did at times take things for granted because it becomes so habitual.

Kathi 07:51

Yeah

Daisy 07:52

And we think it's just the way it is and it always remains this way. A year ago, who would have thought that it might be a privilege to go out to the store with a mask?

Kathi 08:03

 Mmm

Daisy 08:04

Hmm?

Kathi 08:04

Yeah.

Daisy 08:05

We didn't think about that. Maybe some people did. Well, but that's another topic (laughter) right?. We're not going there. So, thankfulness. What are you grateful for in this very moment dear listener? If you're sitting in a car and driving, I wonder, when you have your hands around the steering wheel, and you're in control, cannot you be grateful for that?

Kathi 08:33

Well, yes, because one you have a car. So, there's the first thing.

Daisy 08:39

You have a driver's license.

Kathi 08:41

You have the ability to drive.

Daisy 08:43

There you go.

Kathi 08:44

Three, you have a country that has roads that are drivable!

Daisy 08:48

Yes, I agree

Kathi 08:49

Four you have a destination,

Daisy 08:52

maybe? Or even if you're just driving around for pleasure, then you have the freedom of doing that.

Kathi 08:58

Yeah.

Daisy 08:59

So, it's again, wherever your focus goes, everything grows. When you start developing a habit of being more often grateful than not, you will feel better, you will look younger, and you will do better. Guaranteed, because you cannot not, because once you're raising your vibes there's this great, it's almost like an old chewing gum, it's nothing fresh anymore to it. But when people say ay, ah these are not good vibes I don't like that. Or how's that, did you feel these are so great vibes? Yes, when you shift your vibes and maybe you cannot shift the vibes of your wife or your husband or your sibling or your aunt or grandparents or schoolmates or colleagues, but when you shift yours within you, you will already resonate on a different vibrational level. Don't tell me that it will not have an impact on you and your perception of the circumstances.

Kathi 09:57

Absolutely will and I would even venture to just say that it will have an impact on those people around you as well. Because you are vibrating at a greater frequency that is going to affect physically people around you.

Daisy 10:13

Mm hm, very good, and those who cannot measure it, because not everybody can measure has access to tools, and has the skills to measure the vibrations. When you smile more often, and especially when you smile, let's say, instead of being not grateful smile for 60 seconds, we spoke about that in different aspects as well, then you will signal your brain Oh wow, happy time. And then you will produce some different neurotransmitters, your biology changes, that's measurable that's science, I'm not a scientist, but that is science. And when you do that, and you smile, people also will be interacting with you differently. Because when I see a grump on the street, I may feel sorry for the grump, male or female. Hmm? But if I then do not allow myself to get out of gratitude, because I can walk, hmm, I can see the street, I can see the colors, I can see the leaves, I can sense the breeze, I can feel the temperature, when I stay with me and be in that gratitude, then the grump on the street, or my colleague or my boss, who is the grumpy man or woman, they will not have an impact on me as much. And not because it's measurable vibrational, it is, but when they see me smile and randomly friendly, their attitude towards me will shift.

Kathi 11:49

Yes,

Daisy 11:49

I do believe it is a short time between action and result of change, or the result to see changes.

Kathi 11:58

I agree. And I think that this concept is key, I'm going to tell a personal story around it,

Daisy 12:05

please,

Kathi 12:05

because I noticed such a big change in my life when this happened. And it was around my attitude around myself. You guys out there know that I've had hair loss my whole life and for many, many years, I was very sensitive about it. I was very ashamed of the way I looked. That was the self-belief that I'd grown up with. And as I started to change the way I felt about myself, especially I think the biggest impact on me was actually having my head tattooed. When I tattooed my head it changed the way I felt about myself. And I noticed that when I went out into public now that I had this beautiful tattoo that I was very proud of it, that I loved the way I looked finally for one of the first times in my life. And I actually was grateful for this experience of being bald. I turned it around in my head and I could see now the possibilities of helping other people understand what alopecia was, helping other people cope with having alopecia, helping educate the world, that baldness doesn't mean cancer, all these things that were so hurtful to me all of my life, once I had this different self-belief around it, and an attitude of gratefulness, because I realized I was now in a very special and unique position to help millions of people.

And it had been staring me in the face my whole life. And I was so scared of it. It took me until I was around 44 to realize what a gift I have. And the point of this story is, is that once my mindset changed around who I was and how I felt about myself, and I went out into the world with a different attitude, I noticed everybody react differently to me. Before when I was stuck in my victim mindset, everything that people reacted to me felt negative, it felt insulting, it felt shameful, all of it. Didn't matter what it was, whether the person had kind intentions or not, because I was a victim to it, it all felt hurtful. Once I changed my mindset and had some gratitude for the lesson, and for the duty that I believe I have to help others, everything changed. People would come and talk to me and because my attitude was different, I saw how they were acting in a different way. And it was an epiphany to me. And it made me realize that people will mirror you. So, if you go out into the world with gratitude attitude, you're going to have a much better experience out there, than if you go out into the world with a victim mindset

Daisy 15:27

or with a grumpy mindset, hmm?

Kathi 15:30

Yeah.

Daisy 15:30

So, I think you also pointed out something very interesting. I'd like to say a few words about taking things too personally. We spoke about that in other contexts. We are not that important. We are not the center of the universe. When somebody looks grumpily at me does not mean because something's wrong in my face. Maybe they have a bad day, or maybe they need to fart, and they don't know how to hold it back anymore (laughter). Could be I know, I know. I'm often asked why do you need to bring up that fart example could it not have been something else? No, because it could be embarrassing, maybe. And maybe some people can refer to it that it's sometimes painful. When you don't let out the gas, the steam, it's painful, hmm? When I see myself, I'm not the center of the universe and I'm grateful for not being the center of the universe, there comes to gratitude and I can start taking things not personally, that again, will shift my gratitude, and therefore my attitude will be different. And if the grump is grumpy, fine, that's their responsibility and not mine. And I mind my own business.

Daisy 16:49

 I truly personally do not like standing in line. I really, really don't like that, because I like to get things done tack, tack and I'm just okay, let's get over it. Because I like to achieve many things in a short amount of time, and I do. So, standing in line for me, I think is a waste of time sometimes. But no, I changed my attitude and I now look at it, okay, so I'm in a boot camp for free for patience. And now how can I make the best out of it? Well, I talk maybe to the elderly lady who's standing there in line with me, or I look around, and I'm grateful that I can see. I listen because I hear, and I can be grateful that I have functioning ears. Or I can stand in a traffic jam and be really, really upset about it. Or I can focus on eh, what can I be grateful for right now? And really the very, very, very basic could be that you can breathe.

Kathi 17:52

Yeah.

Daisy 17:53

Because there's an abundance of oxygen out there. Well, depends on which sea level

Kathi 18:00

Well certainly more than the moon though. ,

Daisy 18:02

Yes, yes. Or Mount Everest, right? That's getting a little bit hard to breathe, but you can be grateful for your ability of breathing. It's wonderful. Look, there's never an end. It never happened to me that there was not another breath to be taken. Because there was always air I could breathe in. Cannot I be grateful for that?

Kathi 18:23

Absolutely.

Daisy 18:24

So, wherever you are in your life, hardships, circumstances that are challenging, dreams shattered, relationship gone, loved ones lost. There's still something you can be grateful for. And it will support your immune system, if you believe it or not, it will support your immune system.

Kathi 18:45

Yeah.

Daisy 18:45

So, tune in to this high vibration, and frequency and tune in to gratitude. Look around. There's an abundance of things you can be grateful for. Children are so genius about that. They can crawl in a park and find this tiny little pebble. And they are just in such awe, that curiosity of children is something that we can reawaken within.

Kathi 19:15

Yes. Now I was going to bring that up because I think that one of the most powerful things about being a young child is that we're curious, but also, that we live in the moment as young children we don't think about yesterday, we don't think about tomorrow. We're there crawling on the grass and staring at a ladybug. And that is our whole world for that minute or five minutes and I think we lose that is adults, that ability to just live in the moment and be grateful for the moment, be grateful for what is happening in the moment. And if we can remember to bring ourselves back and put ourselves back in the moment and grasp that childlike curiosity that we were born with, then I think that it will be much easier to find things that we truly can be grateful for.

Daisy 20:20

I very much agree. Again, it is an illusion that we have time because the only moment that we always have is the now.

Kathi 20:30

Yeah.

Daisy 20:31

So, when we start being in the now where we are anyways, because it's an illusion when we go off into the future, or we go back into past, good or bad situations, the reality is, you always have only now. So at least be there, be present and be grateful for this right now. Trust this, when I say that I've been through hardship, yes, not once, not twice, several times in my life, extreme hardship. And even in those situations, it is possible to find something you can be grateful for. It's not always easy to keep the focus on it. But to find it, and when you find it, then you can practice finding it more often. And when you practice finding it more often, then you can extend the time of that gratitude.

Kathi 21:27

And it will become easier

Daisy 21:29

yeah

Kathi 21:29

as you practice. Absolutely.

Daisy 21:31

And a good, good suggestion that I would like to share in the morning, when you wake up, prime your day. My personal story is, usually when I wake up, I feel the need to go to the bathroom, but I command my body to wait a moment because if you were able to keep it for 6-7-8 hours, then you will be probably capable of holding it for another 60 seconds, and let me collect my thoughts for the day and connect with my gratitude inside. And then I do the toe thingy that I'm really happy about my toes that everything's working, I can see it open, its bright sun is up. Wonderful. And then after I've been practicing this gratitude, that is when I then allow my body to now it's time to go to the bathroom. I'm not going to be the servant of my body for the rest of my life. No, no, no, no, no. I am the master and my body is listening more often to me.

Kathi 22:26

I think that's beautiful. But and I have an exercise that I do with some of my clients around self love and I think it extends to gratitude. And all you need is a whiteboard marker or a glass pen. And you can go and write on your mirror in your bathroom. And we've had amazing results with doing this around self-love, where every day you write something positive about yourself. And I think we can use it for the gratitude as well. Whether you want to write it on your mirror or not. Or if you just want to write on your mirror, what am I grateful for today so that when you see it, you're reminded to go through it in your head and consciously decide what in this moment am I grateful for? And that can be a great reminder to do it every day when you're not used to perhaps doing it.

Daisy 23:16

Very good.

Kathi 23:17

So, try that guys, try it, yeah.

Daisy 23:19

Sure. And when you have more difficulty in the moment to find things you're grateful for. What is also very good tool is that you sit at the edge of your bed before you switch off the light, when all the electronics are asleep already, to prep us for our rejuvenating healthy sleep. And then sit there with a piece of paper and a pen, write down three things that you're grateful for that day. And the next morning, the first thing that you're going to read the wake up and that's the first thing you take this piece of paper off your nightstand and read it. That's how you prime your day.

Kathi 23:56

Beautiful

Daisy 23:56

The next evening, you take this list and you add another five. And then the next morning you already have eight, then the next evening, you're already raising another five. So, the next morning you will have 13 and so forth, so forth. And then you can expand that when you do that for let's say 10 days, it becomes more and more easy for you to extend these lists and again, wherever your focus goes, everything grows. And when you want to change your attitude towards gratitude, practice! And the mirror is a great idea because then when you see it, you see you too, even if you focus on the writing on the mirror, you will still see yourself because your focus is not so good that you would ignore yourself in the mirror (laughter). And then you may even link it together to being grateful and I mmh, with a picture of self, the image of self in the mirror, the reflection. I think that is a very, very important thing. So be more grateful and I would like to say something personal. I am very grateful for you Kathi that you found me. I know, you did it, you found me and I'm so grateful that I was open in that moment and I'm so grateful how then we started developing our passion. We both had our passion, but we were able to build bridges and found the common denominators and we brought it into life in times where it was so important to have some mental support and heart support from someone, from the heart. And I'm grateful that you speak from the heart. And I'm so grateful that you allow me to speak from the heart. And I'm grateful for this. Thank you so much.

Kathi 25:40

Thank you, Daisy, I really appreciate those thoughts. And I feel the same. I'm grateful for finding you and I'm grateful for this opportunity to create a podcast so that we can share our experiences and what we've learned in our lives. We saw you guys out there, so that you too, can have a better, happier, healthier life with yourself and your relationships. It really is what drives us to keep doing this and keep making an impact out there.

Daisy 26:13

I'm grateful also for all the listeners for every single ear and every pair of ears because I know sometimes people do something in between while they're listening to us in the background. I'm grateful for all the listeners and all the support. And, of course, the followers on Instagram at baldandblonde.live and our group members, the Dream Life Creators, thank you so much for every single one of you, you all matter, each of you matters. Thank you.

Kathi 26:39

Absolutely. Every person matters. And we want to help all of you in some way. And that is all we want, to be able to know that we've made a positive difference in any way at all in your life. So, if that has happened, please do let us know, you can give us feedback from our website at baldandblonde.live, you can message us on Instagram at baldandblonde.live or you can find Daisy and I on Facebook and message us that way. We are only too happy to hear from you, hear your feedback, hear your suggestions and thank you out there for all of your support, we really do appreciate each and every one of you.

Daisy 27:26

We're very grateful.

Daisy 27:28

That's so far, all I can say to gratitude.

Kathi 27:32

So, that's it for this episode, guys. We hope you enjoyed listening to our discussion on gratitude. We will be back with you again next week with another amazing topic and deep discussion on all things mindset. We are Bald and Blonde

Daisy 27:52

 Mindset Evolution

Kathi 27:54

See you soon.

Daisy 27:55

Bye.

Daisy 27:57

Thank you for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. If you love what you're hearing, please subscribe to our podcast. In our show notes, you can find the link to our Facebook group where you can personally connect with Daisy and Kathi and the link to our website where you can find all of our previous episodes and much more of goodies so you can get the most value. Please leave us a review on Apple podcasts, that really helps us show and help us to get some powerful feedback from you. Thank you so much for listening. Talk to you soon.