SUMMARY KEYWORDS

comfort zone, skydiving, people, curiosity, fear, podcast, comfortable, create, laughter, hear, important, belief, talk, find, safe, comfort, world, big, life

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:03

Bald and Blonde, welcome to the Mindset Evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are. And here are your hosts Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:28

Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution. I'm your host from Australia, Kathi Tait the Baldwarrior and with me as always is Daisy Papp, international excellence coach from Florida Keys. Hi Daisy

Daisy 00:47

Hi Kathi, so good to see you like always, so what is it that you have up your sleeves, although you're sleeveless, because it's summer Down Under.

Kathi 00:58

it is quite warm but quite enjoyable.

Daisy 01:00

Wonderful.

Kathi 01:01

i have an awesome topic today that is dear to my heart and something that I've learned and experienced in my lifetime, today we're going to talk about comfort zones.

Daisy 01:14

 Oh, la la, comfort zones where it's comfy and where it starts getting uncomfy, I hear you, okay. (Laughter) I'm not sure what i can bring to the table for that, that's an interesting topic.

Kathi 01:26

Oh I'm sure you bring something to the table as always Daisy. I want to launch us off with a quote i found which refers to "change beginning at the end of your comfort zone".

Daisy 01:40

Mm-hm, yes there is part of truth to it, I can agree to that partially.

Kathi 01:45

So let's talk about what a comfort zone is first for all our listeners out there. To me a comfort zone is something that is familiar, it's safe, it's somewhere you're at ease and you feel secure, would you agree with

that?

Daisy 02:02

Yes absolutely. Sure and it's something where most of the time we probably also feel good about ourselves.

Kathi 02:10

Yes, I think so because the familiar usually feels good if we talk about it in a positive sense.

Daisy 02:17

Mm-hm

Kathi 02:17

 And we like to stay positive on our show, so that's to me what a comfort zone is. My life experience has also taught me that if I practice something enough. I can create a brand new comfort zone for myself.

Daisy 02:32

Yes, I can see that. I had a very interesting client of mine and he got a big offer and he never did that before and he called me and he says, Daisy what am i going to do with it that's such a great opportunity but I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm shaking and I told him well get into it because there's a great saying that we used on stage back in the days when i was in the music industry with EMI music that if you can't make it, fake it until you make it and it's really true and I do remember a time when I was on stage, it was in the very beginning of my professional music career, many years ago many moons ago now I remember we were having a rehearsal with the band and these guys were very familiar to me of course and I felt safe with them with you just refer to comfort zone but then all of a sudden there was this huge audience like 1200 people and then I said I oh, so what am I going to do if I forget the lyrics and they said Daisy no one will even notice and if, then they will doubt themselves that they didn't get it right. I remember that that made me closer to my comfort zone so i went out there and I just rocked it although we did not do rock music, but more in the chill and jazzy and fat kind of style, like really comfy.

Kathi 03:52

Yeah, nice, yeah I've had the same sort of experience especially when I've gone to speak in front of bigger audiences and that can be quite nerve wracking when you haven't done it before and stage fright, as they call it is something that I always experienced in my sort of youth in school, we had to stand up in front of the class and give talks and it was always terribly hard for me because I had such a lack of self-belief and I think that's where the fake it until you make it theory comes in, that even if you don't fully have the confidence, you just need to appear like you have the confidence and you'll pull it off and that's where my thing, that practice creates new comfort zones comes in because I think that one, the comfort zone you have now is where you feel safe but there's no reason that the unfamiliar can't feel safe if you do it enough it, too becomes familiar then,

Daisy 04:54

Well therefore it's so true there's the saying, practice makes the master, but I say practice makes the master only when you learn from the right teacher, that is very important (laughter). Yes, so when we practice something more and more often, then even if it's like an exercise routine as we spoke in another episode recently, then we can see that okay, so my comfort zone, if I remain in my comfort zone then how am I growing, how am I expanding, how can I experience something new and when we can reconnect to that sweet child-like curiosity that we all have in there, when we can switch off or just step aside from the blame and shaming that we've received for example when we were little children or when we were young children in class and had to stand there in front of the classroom and we weren't so certain and we were not really filled up with self-esteem, then when we are able to step away from the past experiences and just say, I'm going to do, it I'm going to do it and I do remember when i do live seminars and workshops in the past that I get out there and I tell myself I use the self-talk and I tell myself I'm going to give the best I have and I'm going to do the best seminar and the best workshop I can do today and that already shifts the attitude and therefore I'm in the comfort zone because i know I'm going to do my best.

Kathi 05:47

Yeah I think that's a great point and I think that knowing that you're giving your best is certainly a really great way to get self-confidence because it's genuine, you have this knowledge of a topic, you're going to share with an audience of some sort and the self- belief that you will try and serve that audience in the best way you can, I think that's a great way to go well, I've got this, I can do this.

Daisy 06:56

Yes and I do believe then when we practice the good stuff, so from a good teacher or from a good mentor, then we can become even easier better at things so it becomes more easy to practice them because that is also how we can shift our attitude and back to the childhood curiosity, when we keep that alive or find it again and revive it then it becomes so much more exciting, because we humans we are a curious species and we just unlearned it through conditioning and the shame and blame and the guilting.

Kathi 07:35

Yeah, and all that other stuff that happens to us, but I think you're right, I think curiosity is one of the keys as to how mankind has progressed, that urge in us to be curious to learn more, to want to master something is how people excel and have made giant breakthroughs in whatever realm it is that they're working in.

Daisy 07:58

And then usually comes the fun factor, because the moment when we're curious then oh so let me figure this out, let me have a look at this and then it is more fun especially when somebody tells me, hey maybe you should try for example... something really funny happened to me. I received a phone call the other night and someone tells me, Daisy keep that and that date open because i have a surprise for you. I say, oh really, will you tell me? And there's no way, that's not a surprise anymore. But my curiosity is really, it's so big that so I'm sitting here since evenings now and I'm thinking, okay so what's going to happen on that day, what will be the surprise? So I'm thinking about it, I'm thinking about it, and then I told the man, I said to him oh so sweet, thank you so much, I just wanted to give you two things that I will not do, I'm not going to jump out of a plane and I'm not going into the ocean here in this hemisphere before May, just to be clear. He was laughing and he said no, it's not wet and it's not high. I was relaxed more but nevertheless so you see the comfort zone, so where does it start and where does it end and how far do we go, because i know people they went skydiving, I know even people who do it really frequently because that's their hobby and they do that on the weekends and they cannot possibly understand why I would never be curious enough to try it.

Kathi 09:28

Yeah, I think it's a really great point. I know that skydiving is something that absolutely terrifies me but in the same realm, my mum has done it! (Laughter)

Daisy 09:39

She's so cool.

Kathi 09:40

She had no fear about it at all, she has no fear of heights whatsoever and she loved it. I think that instinctively some of us have certain fears about things and that will hold us in our comfort zone, right?

Daisy 09:54

Yes, and I think it is very personal and subjective, so I have the right to not try skydiving, that's it.

Kathi 10:00

Oh, that was my plan when you came to Australia, Daisy was to take your skydiving!

Daisy 10:05

Surely not (laughter). But thank you for the thoughtful idea, and I'm glad we're discussing this year openly now in public, so I will be safe.

Kathi 10:16

You heard it here first guys. Daisy refuses to go skydiving. What do you think about that?

Daisy 10:22

Yes, I have 1000s and 1000s of witnesses that I stated No, thank you. Do you see that gives me comfort, now I'm in my comfort zone, because I have 1000's people behind me, who will probably appreciate and respect that that is a boundary that I would not want to do.

Kathi 10:40

I'm sure a lot of them agree with you. And to be quite honest, I'm, like I said terrified of it. So I'm not sure that I will ever do it. But it would be great to be able to embrace that fear of mine and push past it. I saw a video online that Will Smith actually did, and he videoed himself in the aeroplane before he jumped out. And then again after he landed on the ground. And he talked about how scared he was before he did it. And how once after he'd done it, he felt just so amazing that he'd pushed through that fear and done something that he wanted to do, even though he was scared anyway. And it inspired me and I thought, well, maybe I will try it one day, I'll probably do a tandem jump or something much safer, because I am a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to heights. But I like the idea of embracing my fears. It's one of my values qnd we've talked about it before, when we did a whole episode on fear, which I think is a great episode. And actually, it's our most listened to. So if you haven't heard it yet, go back and find it. It's one of our early ones. I am a big believer in being able to push ourselves and face those fears and actually embrace them and take them into ourselves. Because I think if we don't, and I don't necessarily, am talking about skydiving right now, but just normal stuff. Like maybe public speaking, that's a much safer alternative to skydiving. And I know that I've had fear around that in the past, I think if we don't push ourselves to go out of our comfort zones, then we actually deprive ourselves of an opportunity to grow and to learn.

Daisy 12:29

As I said before, I do believe it's very subjective, and it is very personal. And let me go back to the skydiving. For example, I honor my life a lot and I'm very grateful for the opportunity to be alive every day I am alive. Because there's so many things and so much good I can do in this world on a daily basis and I cannot do that once I'm gone from this body. So I honored that I'm consciously choosing to not take risks that are unnecessary. That's my personal choice, nevertheless, than there are other things when it comes to my comfort zone, when it is about learning a new software on the computer, is it always comfortable? No. But when I remember when I first did editing on music files, that's about 20 years ago on a huge computer and big complicated software and I had no idea, I didn't understand anything of it. And then it became more and more familiar and then I knew what sound engineers around me were doing. And then I said no, no, not this one. And then it became more natural. So that I think was more in balance with a comfort zone and the curiosity.

Kathi 13:39

Yeah, yeah, I agree. And I see, definitely see your point of view, because really, we're not talking specifically about giant things like putting your life at risk skydiving, really, I wanted to bring it up to talk about everyday things. Because I talk to a lot of people, I connect with a lot of people every day, especially on Facebook, and the last few weeks, I've noticed a lot of people expressing their self-doubt and their fear of actually starting something. And a lot of those people funnily enough, were podcasters that were wanting to start a podcast but had a lot of self-doubt around whether people would want to hear their message, whether they'd technically be able to pull it off, how to grow an audience, how to monetize it if they wanted to do that and they had all these doubts and doubts. And I'm like the cheer squad. I'm like, No, just do it. And you can figure this stuff out on the way and I remember before we met, having similar sort of self doubts, can I pull this off? Can I find enough to talk about, not really that surprising. You probably couldn't stop me talking but I did have this self-doubt around whether I'd be worth listening to on my own and that is the initial reason why I wanted a podcast partner to do it with and I'm blessed enough to have found the best podcast partner in the world.

Daisy 15:06

Thank you

Kathi 15:06

Because I think that we just gel so well together, I think the universe for that, but the point is that I see all these people expressing that self-doubt and expressing that fear and I know that a part of it is because they're feeling safe in their comfort zone and taking the leap to actually do something and make it public, like a podcast, can be a scary thing.

Daisy 15:34

Self-doubt and the comfort zone, I'm not sure how closely they are related when we speak about comfort zones. Is it comfortable then for them to not do it but the urge of having the wish to create a podcast and to produce a podcast is there, so the curiosity already is awakened. So I do believe that it is very important that when we have the wish to do something new, that really we look for mentors, we look for information, we look at others how they do it and then have a look at it, what is it that I like how they do it and what is it that I don't want to do because I don't like what they're doing. And then the more information I'm gaining, the more comfortable I will feel within myself and then it becomes more easy to make that step and then go public or create a new fashion label, get on stage and give that talk or create that Facebook group, or start up this company, go and get that job, find that partner that you're looking for, meet that girl meet, that man and just find out. I do believe that self-encouragement is very important, nevertheless that is again independent from the comfort zone because I do believe the true comfort zone is within ourselves and that is very important that we keep that on the highest level of quality, that comfort within ourselves so that we can feel good about ourselves and then it becomes easier to go wherever we go because any uncomfortable situation can still become comfortable when i'm comfortable with myself.

Kathi 17:17

Yes, and that's what I was getting at when I was talking about self-belief.

Daisy 17:21

Yes, the belief alone is, I'm not sure if that's enough, because I do believe it's like a good meal, there are many ingredients to it. You don't make only soup with water or with only carrots or only potatoes or only parsley or only salt but when you mix it together you can make a nice minestrone when you have some other vegetables there. I do believe to be comfortable outside the comfort zone, when we define the comfort zone as things that we are doing on a daily basis where we are familiar with, where we are routines in, when we know how to do it. Almost you wake me up at 3am and I'm deep asleep and I know how to do it, so I kick in and automatically then we'll be able to perform. But that comfort within ourselves, I think is the most important place we can create on this planet, meaning I'm at peace with myself, I'm balanced, I faced fears and then I cope with them. There are struggles in this world and I still have the belief and the knowledge and the wisdom and the attitude that I will be able to handle it, and when I'm then so comfortable within myself then I have no problem going for example, here in the Keys most life circulates around fishing and I'm not into fishing at all. I like to cook the fish once it is filleted you bring it in my kitchen clean, oh I make a wonderful meal out of it no matter day or night, but fishing itself is really not my interest. Nevertheless I can be around people who are very excited about fishing although that is not my comfort zone and how can I be comfortable there because I'm comfortable here within me, then it becomes easier. So therefore the first place is to clean up this one here within me, that inner world, and make it as comfortable as possible and then no matter where I go, I bring that comfort zone with me wherever I go and then it becomes easier to expand into new territory.

Kathi 19:26

i love that, speaking about comfort zones and what you've just defined feels to me like an internal comfort zone, an internal safe place for ourselves. So then I can see that we have an internal comfort zone and then we expand it as an external comfort zone when we're trying new things and I think you hit the nail on the head earlier when you said some of the keys to doing that, educating yourself and finding the right mentor for yourself.

Daisy 19:58

Yes, and look at people who do what you really enjoy, look at people who do what you would like to do, and look at people who do it in a way that you really enjoy, that are in alignment with your values. And then

Kathi 20:11

Yeah,

Daisy 20:12

let's not forget, we have mirror neurons. And we can learn by watching others doing things. That's why it's so important that we learn from select people. And then based on our values, we can choose a selection of people we want to follow.

Kathi 20:28

Yeah, I agree with that, I was just going to say that I also think it's helpful to seeing people do it in the way you don't want to do it. Because I think that immediately something's going to either resonate with you based on your values, or it's not going to, and that helps us figure out, I want to do it this way and I don't want to do it that way.

Kathi 20:51

Well, I think that it's an interesting point you make about quotes, and perhaps cliches too, that there's a reason people say them, but often we only see the surface. And that, of course, is why I picked it as a topic, because we like to get into the nitty gritty, and really talk about things at a deeper level, and what it means to us and what it could mean for you. So that is our take on comfort zones. What do you guys think out there, we'd love to hear your opinion. Any last word Daisy for our audience?

Daisy 20:51

And then you can become better at it. Because that is already very important. As soon as we distinguished the likes from the dislikes, then we know already, okay, so which path to go and which route to take, and then focus on there more, because it's so broad. And when we generalize it, okay, oh, yeah, you just need to get out of your comfort zone! I think it is too general. Okay, so what does it mean? Well, it's still not comfortable for me to learn new software's, I'm telling you a very personal thing, my computer, when it forced us to update the software, it forces it to do it. So it's doing it automatically. And then I'm here sitting here with my old computer. And I'm so used to use specific software's or programs the way I'm used to using them and all of a sudden, everything is different. Trust me, I'm very much out of my comfort zone. So what I need to do, when that happens to me, I first need to become very comfortable in my internal comfort zone to be able to handle that outward, or that exterior, not happy comfort zones that I just don't want to become comfortable with. But then I'm forced to do it. And then again, it goes down to the attitude. So I do believe that it's very important to distinguish, okay, there are so many wonderful, very nice and meaningful quotes out there. Nevertheless, I do believe that we can select those too, wisely, choose them wisely and define it first, before we make them an everyday slogan, or something like I had so cool to say, yeah, success starts at the end of your comfort zone. That's not true.

Daisy 22:30

Well, I hope that this episode inspired every one of you out there, all of our dear and highly appreciated and welcomed listeners that you will take care, very well care of your comfort zone, your internal comfort zone so that then you can expand and grow and enjoy the curiosity that you were born with.

Kathi 23:27

I love it. I love it. So that's it from us today, guys. We hope you've enjoyed this. A big thank you out there to all of our listeners and subscribers. We love having you. We love hearing from you. And we love how many of you are jumping on board, the Bald and Blonde podcast, it actually really warms our hearts to know that we're making a difference out there in the world. And what we are talking about is valuable to each and every one of you. So a big thank you from us. '

Daisy 23:59

Yes, thank you so much. And the reviews as so kindly written so wonderful. Thank you so much. It is really heartwarming to read from people around the world, how much they enjoy listening to us, and what changes they feel within themselves happening. And therefore the changes also happen outside of them in their life. And that's wonderful. It's so wonderful. It really fills my heart. Absolutely super.

Kathi 24:24

Absolutely does. That is the reason that we're doing this.

Daisy 24:28

Yes, that's right, absolutely.

Kathi 24:31

So that's it from us today. Thank you for tuning in and we will see you next week for another episode of Bald and Blonde

Daisy 24:39

Mindset Evolution.

Daisy 24:43

Thank you for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. If you love what you're hearing, please subscribe to our podcast. In our show notes, you'll find the link to our Facebook group where you can personally connect with Daisy and Kathi and the link to our website where you can find all of our previous episodes and much more of goodies so you can get more value. Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, that really helps out the show and helps us to get some powerful feedback from you. Talk to you soon.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

motivation, laughter, important, people, motivate, inspire, manipulation, motivated, world, root, big, goal, motion, motivational, starting, fun, fear, absolutely, challenges

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:03

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the Mindset Evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are. And here are your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:29

And hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution. I'm your host from Australia, Kathi Tait, the baldwarrior and with me as always is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys Hi, Daisy.

Daisy 00:45

Hi Kathi. Hello world, hello to our listeners from around the globe. It is so lovely that Kathi there in Australia and me here almost at the tip the southernmost tip of Florida, we're truly literally embracing the globe and that is so wonderful. Hello world.

Kathi 01:03

Hello from the future.

Daisy 01:04

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I know you're in Tomorrowland, thanks for reminding me. (laughter)

Kathi 01:14

I do love to say I'm a time traveler, I'm from the future always gets a giggle.

Daisy 01:19

Yes, it does.

Kathi 01:20

I have picked a great topic for us today. Daisy, would you like to hear what it is?

Daisy 01:25

What if I'd say no? What will be talking about then?

Kathi 01:31

Well, we'd probably talk about the value of No. (laughter)

Daisy 01:35

Oh, that's a good one.

Kathi 01:37

I know it's on the list, but it's not what we're talking about today.

Daisy 01:41

Oh, you just told me what is on your list? Because dear listeners, she does not give me insight in her list. That's a secret. She probably keeps it in her safe.

Kathi 01:50

It's a secret list. It is. And I don't tell Daisy, I honestly don't tell Daisy the topics until we sit down to record. That is the honest truth. Because I think it works best that way. I think then we have a genuine conversation that is not rehearsed or scripted.

Daisy 02:08

That's sure.

Kathi 02:08

And we give you guys the most value.

Daisy 02:11

Okay, brilliant line.

Kathi 02:12

And it's fun. It's fun for me.

Daisy 02:15

It's fun for me too, because I never know what's coming out of this box today.

Kathi 02:22

So today, Daisy, I would like to talk about self-motivation.

Daisy 02:27

Self-motivation?

Kathi 02:29

Yes.

Daisy 02:29

Well, wow. Okay, I may surprise you with this one. But motivation itself, as it is described, doesn't even exist?

Kathi 02:41

Well, that's interesting you say that, I need to know why you say that. First of all, maybe you can explain what you're referring to when you say as it is described doesn't exist. So how is it described?

Daisy 02:55

Well, of course, that is a very subjective position when we define motivation. The way I define motivation is something that I'm trying to motivate either myself or others, to do something that they are not feeling motivated to do. So actually, we're talking about manipulation.

Kathi 03:13

Oh, that's a big call.

Daisy 03:15

So therefore, then we could call this episode also self-sabotage or self-manipulation.

Kathi 03:22

Whoa, now. Hang on, because I have an opinion about that. (laughter)

Daisy 03:25

I thought you would.

Kathi 03:29

To me, manipulation is something that isn't out in the open. It's something that is being done behind the scenes in order to get something that you want from other people. So that's my subjective take on manipulation. So when I think of motivation, it's not in the same light, it's in a positive, let's go get 'im. Here's how you learn to be a self-starter. Here's how you keep yourself dedicated to the goals that you've set. That's what it means to me.

Daisy 04:04

Okay, that's a very good take on it. Nevertheless, so when I'm trying to help people to do something that they actually, nevertheless don't want to do, that's why they want to get the motivation, so isn't it then manipulation that they signed up for? So it's just dressed up a little nicer?

Kathi 04:25

If you look at it in the worst possible way, perhaps you could see it as that. Again, perhaps that's subjective. It's interesting, though, because I know that you've coached a lot of people over the years. So it's interesting to me that you have that take on it because I've also coached a lot of people over the years and never even considered it to be manipulation. I think this might be a juicy episode, out there people. (Laughter)

Daisy 04:52

You see, you throw the topic at me and then the Pandora box opens up for me and you don't know what Pandora box you open up in me. So that is what makes it quite funny.

Kathi 05:05

All right, let's have it Daisy. Open your Pandora's box and hit us with it?

Daisy 05:09

Okay, so when I work with people, then I am not motivating them. And when someone comes to me and says, Hey, do you do motivation? I say no wrong number. I don't do that. I seriously don't. She's giggling. You don't have to keep it back.

Kathi 05:26

I'm just imagining Daisy on the phone going, No, I don't do motivation. Wrong number!

Daisy 05:35

It's true and then usually they're shocked. And then I explained to them because when they're curious, of course, I explained to them my point of view, what I do I inspire people to be curious enough to find ways that it will be fun.

Kathi 05:48

Oh, that's kind of cool.

Daisy 05:50

And I help people to find out why the goal they believe is their goal. Why is that so important? Why is it their goal? Whose goal is it? Because oftentimes, it's not even their own. But it's from society, or it is from tradition, or it's from culture, or it's from family or the spouse or, yes, the parents want their children to do this do that.

Kathi 06:14

I see. Hence them needing motivation, because actually, they probably don't want to do it.

Daisy 06:20

Yes. So and that's the game I don't play. I have very fine line, but it's very sturdy.

Kathi 06:27

So let's talk about that in conjunction with the self.

Daisy 06:30

Okay

Kathi 06:31

So I want to talk about the self side of it.

Daisy 06:33

Okay. I know people that they think oh, yeah, self-motivation. So now, for example, I have clients of mine they, in the past, not over the past one year due to some lockdowns. They went to these extremely expensive motivational weekends, boot camps, one week in the Caribbean, one week in Bali, one week in Cape Town, wherever it is, and then they really spend a lot of money. And they come back, and then they call me say, hey, I'm back. So we can continue working. And it's so how was it? Oh, wow. So I'm so motivated. I so, I'm so motivated, I so, so badly know, I so clearly see. And I said, so really? So what is it that you are really so motivated about? And then they tell me? Well, I don't know. It was maybe the ambience because there were so many others. To me, it's like a circus. She's laughing.

Kathi 07:27

I'm laughing because I've been to those retreats and conferences where they do that, a lot of them do all this stuff to get you in this specific state of mind so then I can perhaps manipulate you about something. I'm seeing your point of view clearer and clearer here.

Daisy 07:43

Well, I'm not saying that these programs try to manipulate but what I believe that they motivate, and trust me, I have seen so many motivated idiots, not because (laughter) sorry, not the clinical case, but doing stupid things because they were just so motivated. It's like a balloon that's filled with air. And then you come with this tiny little needle or sand-corn, or you rub it at the wall and poof, gone it is.

Kathi 07:43

 Yes, I get that

Daisy 08:04

You see where I'm going with it?

Kathi 08:15

Yes. But I would have the opinion that if you can pop their balloon that easily, then there's nothing substantial behind the will to self-motivate. Because I think there has to be something substantial behind it, we have to have a goal, a passion. a calling, a purpose, something that is really important to us, in order to be able to, what I am terming self-motivate, we might need to coin a new phrase for it after this talk.

Daisy 08:45

I believe this is a very good idea. Because motivation is really the big balloon, you fill it up (blowing noises) and then it's getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And then what do you do with it? You see, so the substance is missing. But once the substance is there, and you ignite that substance, that one that can be a burning candle for the decades to come.

Kathi 09:13

How about we recoin it into self-inspiration.

Daisy 09:17

Now we're talking!

Kathi 09:18

Now we're talking, you know, I like it.

Daisy 09:21

Now we're talking. I give you another example about motivation, self-motivation. So actually, I'm trying to convince myself doing something I don't want to do. That's what it would actually mean.

Kathi 09:34

Well, generally, there's a reason we're not motivated to do it (laughter).

Daisy 09:37

There you go. So let's have a look at the reason, go to the root, what's holding you back. Because oftentimes, it can be a very simple, tiny adjustment we can make that brings us into a completely different direction, and then it becomes like a perpetual mobily

Kathi 09:38

A what? (Laughter) a what now?

Daisy 09:43

How would you call that?

Kathi 09:49

Perpetual motion.

Daisy 10:07

So once we find the root cause why we do not want to do what we then believe we should be doing, that's another little tricky twist here because root tells me that I should, so what is the should based on? But when I see purpose in it, when I see meaning in it, when I see value in it and then in addition if it is even fun to do, now then you don't need to motivate anyone on this world, they will do it by themselves.

Kathi 10:37

That's true but not everything that we have to do is fun.

Daisy 10:41

I give you a very simple example. Is it fun for me to pay my bill that I just received in the mail? No, it's not fun, it's not fun at all. But you see wherever your focus goes everything grows so I don't focus on paying the bill, but I focus on how I feel once I paid it and then that is already what is self-inspiring me. That what comes afterwards.

Kathi 11:01

Yes, and I guess you could also say I have the ability to pay the bill.

Daisy 11:06

 That's another one, sure.

Kathi 11:08

Which is gratitude.

Daisy 11:09

That's a money problem and financial and prosperity program, absolutely. To have the capability and have the means to pay it, or to even be trusted that people send you a bill and don't get prepaid, that's another part so it goes down to inspiration. So when a client comes to me, I can inspire them and I can invite them to have a look at things from a different perspective and when these new perspectives are so attractive, then they're going to do it and no one can hold them back, you see?

Kathi 11:43

Yes, absolutely agree with that 100%. What else I noticed is when you were speaking about the reason underneath, that we don't want to do it, I can see that that is also the same thing that would make us procrastinate.

Daisy 12:00

Absolutely, that's the same. But with procrastination there's an additional little ingredient that is fear, that's my take on it.

Kathi 12:08

Right, yes. Okay yeah, I can see that.

Daisy 12:11

Fear and procrastination, by my humble opinion. But now when we go, okay so I'm going to keep it on your topic because you chose it, self-motivation. I wonder if you can see that self-motivation is nonexistent in the way as it's presented out in this world when there's a motivational speaker. I hope no one ever will call me a motivational speaker. I'm not going to the event when they put that on the placard, I'm not going. So they can call speaker, or inspirational speaker, yes. For motivational no, no, no, no, no. I don't blow up balloons unless what's fun for me.

Kathi 12:46

Well it can be fun, popping them's fun. (laughter)

Daisy 12:48

Yes, but I don't want to get this label I'm not so much into labels and if it comes to labels that are put in connection with me, that are associated with me, then I'm very cautious what I want to be associated with.

Kathi 13:01

Yeah, I think you've had a really interesting point of view on this, and I can see why you say that self-motivation is not a good thing. From this point of view, I certainly agree, and I think part of the issue here, is how we create these labels for things and then just use them without really delving into what they mean in their essence, which of course is why we talk about these things on a deeper level because we like to get to the root of things and really see what's going on.

Daisy 13:37

Hey and yes, you just threw this one at me.

Kathi 13:41

I know it's so much fun!

Daisy 13:43

Yes, it is, it certainly is. So when we have a look at what's out there, so many programs are offered, motivation this, motivation that, motivational programs this, motivational listen to that, listen to this and then people feel really uh huh okay, okay so now I feel so motivated but if they do not change what's in themselves, nothing is going to change.

Kathi 14:07

Yeah, I definitely agree that the first thing is what's inside and what it is that we truly want and desire for ourselves and I think that always has to be the starting place. If you intend doing it for any length of time, for any amount of success, I believe it needs to start with something that is really important to you because otherwise, and I've seen it a lot with clients being an accountant for 20 years, when it gets hard people give up. If it's not important to them enough, then they won't push through the challenges that they will usually face at some point. Let's be realistic, we're realistic based, that challenges are always around us and they're there for a reason, to learn things and a life free of challenges will be a life without any lessons.

Daisy 14:57

 Life doesn't exist, it's a series.

Kathi 15:00

The reality is there are always going to be challenges. And I've seen the reality to be that unless people have a driving force that is really strong, they will not push through the challenges, they will give up.

Daisy 15:12

Mmm, and then there is another level to it. Why is it not that important? Because maybe it is very important to them, but then they don't have the belief or the faith that they can make it happen, because they're scared of the disappointment, then they don't even start doing it. There's one quote that I find actually quite nice to have a deeper look at it. It says, if it's important to you, you will find a way. If it's not important, you will find an excuse. And when we have a look at that, on a deeper level, I do believe there is a very big wisdom hidden in it. Because why is it important? Do you see, again, it's the root, nothing will hold me back. It's like when you have a young mother, you were a young mother at one point as well, you're still a young mother, but you had a young baby, let's put it this way. And I had a baby boy as well. And even when we were very tired, getting up to the child, we still did it. Because that was more important than to stay in the comfort of not getting up. So there's something much bigger that's moving us. So maybe self-movement could be also a good topic, you see our good name for it, self-movement, so that I get into motion.

Kathi 16:25

Yeah, I definitely agree with that. And I know that when I was a young mother, I had my son at 21. I was actually with a very violent man, his father. And it was the fact that Christopher was so important to me, that got me out. I actually at the time did not value myself enough to get myself out until that baby came into the world and he was more important to me than anything. So I thank him for that. He changed the trajectory of my life by coming along, and that's I think, when you look back at your life, and you look at some of the big decisions that you have made for yourself, and you look a bit closer at them, that might just be where you can find those things that are truly important to you.

Daisy 16:39

The moment when it's important to you, you will find a way. That's it. And then when we want to achieve something that we don't find the way yet, then the fire is just not strong enough within us. But we can grow that fire and make it really passionate.

Kathi 17:36

Yes,

Daisy 17:37

Then it will be something that moves us automatically, naturally towards that goal.

Kathi 17:43

Yes, although I do think that there are other things that assist with that. And one of those of course is dealing with the fear that often comes up. And fear is a really a very real thing for people.

Daisy 17:58

Yeah,

Kathi 17:58

it's very personal, as well. So what may be scary for that person may not be scary for me. But I don't get to judge that because it's not my path. It's their path. And they're experiencing all the things that made them.

Daisy 18:15

So now they cannot motivate themselves out of having fear into not having fear, they can't, but the level of self-development, they can achieve. Now, that will be feeding them so much that the fear just dissipates. And if it's rooted elsewhere, then have a look at it, go and get professional help to handle it and cope with it and really heal these old wounds and the old stuff, the old traumata, it's possible. And then when you get yourself into motion, sometimes it's really just the beginning. It's like when I have this wheelbarrow here in my yard, and sometimes when I fill it up too much, you can barely move that thing. And once it's moving, then it becomes easier and easier and then I'm just pulling it and pulling it, I can pull it out to the street. And then it's much easier, you see sometimes it's really the beginning motion. And that is when we get inspired by that and remind ourselves Oh, yeah, okay, so I just start doing it for a few minutes and then let's see how it's going. And then maybe it makes fun. And maybe I even feel good about myself that I started, mmh?

Kathi 19:23

Yeah

Daisy 19:23

Then it becomes easier and easier. So that is I do believe the key and really taking a look at these big rocks and giant stones or bricks that are in the way of starting moving. That's what I believe.

Kathi 19:38

Yes, for sure. Yeah, definitely look at those things that are in your way because everything has a solution if you look hard enough, I think. But I think you're also right about the motion. Because I know that in most things that I've done in my life, I look back at them and often starting was the hardest part. Once you get going, it gets easier and easier because you do gain that momentum.

Daisy 20:05

Mm-hmm.

Kathi 20:05

And you do gain the confidence. And then you gain the experience and maybe you've got a mentor who can show you some great ways to do things easier. And then you see you're making an impact on people, whatever it is that you're doing. For us, it's this podcast. When at the end of January, we hit 33 countries, we were absolutely stunned, but so inspired that we'd reached so much of the world that it just fired us up to go harder.

Daisy 20:40

But you see, it is the self-motion that gets us going. And it's not the motivation, you see.

Kathi 20:46

Yes

Daisy 20:46

I don't have to convince myself to do something I don't want to do.

Kathi 20:50

Is it the English language, an interesting animal? That words can have so many connotations around them, and such personal meanings. And I actually remember sitting in high school, in English literature class going, what are connotations? I don't understand. But in fact,

Daisy 21:12

yeah,

Kathi 21:12

there are all those nuances and emotions that we've attached to these words, and these deeper meanings that actually make them meaningful to us, which I guess is perhaps why it can be so challenging to learn another language that isn't your first language. But here, I digress (laughter), because it's interesting. So to wrap this up, self-motivation, chuck it in the bin, what we're going to do is self-inspire, and self-motion in order to make sure we are inspired by something that's important to us and get started so that we can gain that advantage of the momentum that happens as we start and keep going. Would that be a good way to sum that up?

Daisy 21:59

Yeah, I think that's a very good way to sum it up. Sure. And I also believe that it is so important that we have a look at what is it that we really like? What is it that we would really like to achieve? What is it in the long term that we want to see ourselves doing? And then go from that way backwards, and then have a look, okay, so what is happening within me that's holding me back, and then get that into motion, and then it becomes easier to get there. And that can be an exercise, that can be a new job that can be establishing a family, that can be going out into the dating scene, it can be so many things or picking up a new hobby. And really, it all starts within, it's never the outside world.

Kathi 22:45

Yes,

Daisy 22:45

I remember 30 years ago, when someone told me that I had a hard time believing it. I didn't know what they were talking about.

Kathi 22:51

I like how you said start at the end picture that you want. Because for me, that's very logical. And we do that in accounting.

Daisy 23:00

 Yeah,

Kathi 23:00

We start with well, what kind of reports do you need to make management decisions? Now let's go back to the beginning and set things up so we can get those reports. And it's the same logic base here. What is your vision for yourself? What is it you truly desire and are passionate about? Goodness, so many people are so wrapped up in everyday stuff that they forget to even think about that!

Daisy 23:24

Many people don't even have the time and don't have the nerve, because it's really overwhelming when they have children, homeschooling now and then they have a home office, and then they cannot get out. They don't have help from other families because you can't visit. So it's really very challenging. Nevertheless, it is still possible to use this time, as difficult and challenging it is, to really use it for self-development. Because whatever you develop within yourself, no one can ever take away.

Kathi 23:54

Yes, they say that knowledge is the one thing that can never be taken from you.

Daisy 24:00

That's right. Yeah, I agree with that.

Kathi 24:02

Love it. Well, I think that's it for today and our episode that ended up not being about self-motivation. (Laughter). But we all love a bit of controversy, so we hope that you've enjoyed this and that you can see from our point of view, where we're coming from, and we hope that is made you think about it a little bit deeply. Because that is our goal, to scratch beneath the surface and get to the heart of things so that we can help you guys out there evolve. Because we are Bald and Blonde

Daisy 24:39

Mindset Evolution. Talk to you next time.

Kathi 24:42

See you next week.

Daisy 24:44

Thank you for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. If you love what you're hearing, please subscribe to our podcast. In our show notes, you'll find the link to our Facebook group where you can personally connect with Daisy and Kathi and the link to our website, where you can find all of our previous episodes and much more of goodies so you can get more value. Please leave us a review on Apple podcast or Podchaser, that really helps out the show and helps us to get some powerful feedback from you. Talk to you soon.