SUMMARY KEYWORDS

uncertainty, nails, people, laughter, control, fear, reptilian brain, life, paint, brain, parts, agree, globe, energy, episode, left, canvas, empty canvas, create

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:03

Bald and Blonde, welcome to the Mindset Evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are. And here are your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:28

And hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution. I'm your host from Down Under, Kathi Tait the baldwarrior and with me as always, is your co-host, Daisy Papp from Florida Keys, International Excellence coach, and just general all round amazing lady. Hello, Daisy.

Daisy 00:53

Oh, hello, my dear friend from Australia Down Under. Thank you so much for your sweet introduction. Yes, yes, I am Daisy Papp, and I'm here in the Florida Keys, my beloved chosen home and Kathi and I we're embracing the globe and you are in between.

Kathi 01:10

Yes, you are. We do embrace the globe. We have so many countries listening to us. We are just super, super excited to spread our message throughout the globe. And as always, guys, I have kept today's topic secret from Daisy, and I'm about to announce it now.

Daisy 01:31

She's always doing that to me! (Laughter)

Kathi 01:34

It's one of my great joys and giggles to keep the topic secret until we press record and so today, Daisy, we are going to talk about uncertainty.

Daisy 01:46

Uncertainty. Oh, I like that one. Oh, because that's a biggie.

Kathi 01:52

Yes, it's a great topic, because in today's world, there's so much uncertainty out there, and I think it creates a lot of fear for people.

Daisy 02:03

So how long do you want this episode to be? Because I have an answer. That was like 30 seconds or you want to expand it a little longer? (Laughter)

Kathi 02:12

Well, we probably not going to put out a 30 second podcast, so let's expand it a little bit. First, I'm going to throw this at you. I read this somewhere when I was reading about uncertainty, and it was quite interesting to me. They said that uncertainty can drive creativity or fantasy.

Daisy 02:35

Absolutely. Interesting.

Kathi 02:36

So I never thought of uncertainty in that way. But I think that's putting a positive spin on it, isn't it?

Daisy 02:43

Again, I asked you how long do you want this episode to be a regular episode or do you want just one sentence exposes it all?

Kathi 02:51

Oh, go on then, throw it at me, I need to pull it apart, so you're going to have to throw it out there.

Daisy 02:58

Okay, well, life is a series of uncertainties, period.

Kathi 03:05

Well yes, I think that's true.

Daisy 03:08

So then what do we do about it? Do I want to try to change the inevitable? Or am I going to go with the flow? Or am I going to be rowing against the stream? Or am I just going into my kayak and go downstream and enjoy the view because there's so much uncertainty awaiting me? So what do I want to do? I say clearly, focus on what you can control, stop focusing on what you cannot control. Period. Solved.

Kathi 03:36

Yeah, I agree. I think that was an early lesson for me was to go well, can I change it? Can I do something about it? And if I couldn't do anything about it, then I had to make a decision to not expend my energy on it any longer.

Daisy 03:55

Yeah. And then now comes this stubbornness into play because many of these humans that are in this, how can I call it in a sweet way, in this life, on this journey on this globe for a limited time, because that is certain, isn't it that time is limited? So what do we do about it? And let's make the best out of it. Because I know people who have just a great talent to make in distress, uncertainty of fortune, and I know of people who can find misery in times that are just smooth and soothes and wonderful and soothing and just gentle to everyone. So you see where it comes from, doesn't really come from self? So back to the stubbornness though. So when I try to control with all I have, with all my energy I have, the uncontrollable, well it's like me trying to hit the wall against the concrete with my head. I wonder if I will succeed and what are my chances to succeed or I just say, oh, there's a wall. You know what, let me walk out the door.

Kathi 05:15

I wasn't sure where the wall and concrete was going there. (Laughter)

Daisy 05:18

Okay, you got it.

Kathi 05:19

Don't make your own door , just use the door that's there. Uncertainty does leave it wide open for people to run with any direction they want. And the reason I wanted to talk about it is because I see a lot of fear out in the world today because of the uncertainty, and I wanted to share with people that uncertainty does not equal fear, we can go a different way with uncertainty. And I think it's important for people to understand that just because things are uncertain doesn't necessarily mean that they're negative.

Daisy 05:33

I agree with you wholeheartedly. And the other aspect, I think, would be worthwhile to put a little bit spotlight on, gently and have a look, stop being a control freak. (Laughter)

Kathi 06:14

I have to laugh because I used to be one. It was the only way I felt like I had any

Daisy 06:22

power,

Kathi 06:23

any say in my life, because so many things were out of my control that the things I could control I grasped really hard, and not to great outcomes either people. Carry on Daisy.

Daisy 06:39

Thank you. Well, so I do believe that the uncertainty and the level of uncertainties may be different individually and may be perceived differently individually. No matter the time, no matter the age, no matter the era, no matter 2020, no matter 1982, no matter 1956, depending on the geographics where you were at those times. But it really requires the skill to focus on what you can control. And that is when then we can make the best out of it. Now some people are fortunate they learned that early on, some people are fortunate they never had to learn that at all in their lives. And let me go back in time a little bit and, not to share so much about my personal story because that is really not important, but the lesson in it might be valuable to our listeners. I believe that I was so fortunate.

Daisy 07:39

When I grew up, I lived in the perfect family setting. My parents were loving, caring, my father did what he was just super good at and he enjoyed doing it. And my mom did what she loved doing. And then they just went into one direction I had a brother who was the best brother in the universe, truly, bless his heart. And when I was eight years old, an accident happened and my parents got in an accident. My father and his parents died. My mother was the only survivor. What was left over, there was no doubt based on my creativity, to me it became obvious to make the best out of it as a little girl, eight years old. Now, why was I able to think that way at all. My parents were very creative people. My father was an inventor, my mother was a fashion designer. My father had his own business and he was ahead of his time a lot. And to me, it was just normal. Okay, so this is what we have, let's make the best out of it. And I do remember one specific situation, because my neighbors, our neighbors, were my parents' best friends. And of course, they were grieving along with my brother and I, because they lost their best friend, and they didn't know if my mother would survive.

Daisy 09:00

And when I went over there, this little girl I was, I tried to make the best out of it. And when I saw the mother of my childhood friends, Ingrid, and when I saw her being sad, or when she looked at me with the worrisome look, oh, this poor little girl, what happens to her, what was going to happen with her? I tried to put a spark of hope in there. Now how was I capable of doing that? Because I was very creative child based on what I was exposed to. Lucky, that was really fortunate for me. And I learned early on to make the best out of any situation. And then later on, I don't know if anyone is aware of my art. I also have an artistic side to me, and I just do love steel nails. Now I didn't even know why I love steel nails. Steel nails are random fasteners and what's the beauty in it and why would someone think okay, so there's this blonde lady, she's an author, she's an international excellence coach. she was in the music industry, she has quite a curriculum. And then why steel nails could be anything else, could be feathers, or butterflies, or gold petals, whatever it is, why nails? I didn't even know but what I know that I took these nails, steel nails, big ones, five inch, six inch, I'm talking quite a size here. And I can make beauty out of it. So out of this uncertainty, let's say you have a pound of nails, when you see them, they seem like insignificant. When I see a pound of nails, I see them as very significant. And yes, out of this uncertainty out of this mess of one pound of nails, I'm going to create something beautiful.

Daisy 10:47

Now, long story short, or short story long, or the question why nails, why steel nails? The last sentence of my mother was, she's going to hang the family business on a nail. Meaning in English, that would mean I'm hanging the gloves or I'm throwing in the towel. So she was just fed up. And as hurtful as it was losing my mom and my brother and my godfather in a plane crash when I was 17, that nail, that last sentence, it worked on me subconsciously, it just was there constantly doing something. And I felt drawn to steel nails all of a sudden, it's really weird. Not all of a sudden it happened like 12 years later, and I made beauty out of them. Well, to me art and beauty is really in the eye of the beholder.

Kathi 11:36

But I think that they are quite beautiful. And you've just proven the statement that I opened with that uncertainty can drive creativity. So I love that example.

Daisy 11:47

It is absolutely true. But this is very important to know, if and when uncertainty switches on our reptilian brain, meaning fear, constant fear, that's what happened here over the past 12 months globally.

Kathi 12:03

Yeah,

Daisy 12:04

Then we cannot be creative. Because the creative genius lives, doesn't live. It's not like a persona being disconnected from us, but it's located in the left frontal lobe of our brain. So that's where the genius is and when the reptilian is active, and it says oh, it's so scary. Oh, it's so scary. Oh, it's so scary. Oh, it's so scary. And then you switch on the TV, you switch on the radio, and what happens? Like you open the faucet, water comes out of it. And always the same water from the media, always pushing that fear, always pushing that fear. When we are in constant fear, we cannot access the genius within, and therefore it becomes very challenging to have creative thoughts and have a positive outlook or make out something beautiful of a disastrous circumstance you see.

Kathi 12:58

So that's a really important point. So actually, what that says to me is if an uncertainty is creating fear within yourself, then what you need to do is figure out how to switch off that reptilian brain first, and then connect with something that will help with the uncertainty.

Daisy 13:21

Well, I do believe what will help with the uncertainty is the moment when the reptilian is already domesticated, temporarily calmed down, it's possible to do that.

Kathi 13:33

Okay, so that's what I meant by switched off. There's no switch. We all know there's no switch

Daisy 13:40

No!

Kathi 13:41

But metaphorically, we want to turn off the fear, so we can access the other parts of our brain.

Daisy 13:49

Yes, that's true. That's what I believe. And that's what I'm learning from neuroscientists who do studies on that. They're watching brains doing what they're doing on the MRIs, the magnetic resonance imagery, why they do what they do, and then they can see exactly which parts and pieces of the brain light up or overheat.

Kathi 14:10

Yeah, actually, interesting story to interject here. I've had that done. I've had an MRI, and they actually got me to do four different exercises while I was in the machine. And part of it was to study which parts of the brain lit up in response to each type of problem-solving activity. And it was so interesting, and I got the most beautiful picture of my brain all lit up Daisy, it's a very beautiful brain.

Daisy 14:43

I've seen it and I find it amazing. And it's a beautiful opportunity that you experienced, that you were part of that study. That's wonderful.

Kathi 14:51

Yeah

Daisy 14:52

The brain is one thing, but let me go into the mind a little bit, because that's a little bit broader. The mind doesn't mind, if you believe it or not, what you think about is real, made up, imagined, remembered, reconstructed, it doesn't matter to the mind.

Kathi 15:12

So the mind doesn't know the difference.

Daisy 15:14

That's right.

Kathi 15:15

It only knows it's thinking it.

Daisy 15:18

Well, I'm not getting into the technical part of it because I don't feel certified in speaking about that.

Kathi 15:24

Let's just do a little disclaimer, we're not technically qualified. We're talking about this in layman's terms.

Daisy 15:31

Yes, so I'm not a neuroscientist. I'm not a neurologist. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a medical doctor.

Kathi 15:38

Our brains cannot tell the difference between real, not real, fantasy, made up memories, all it knows is that it's thinking that, it just knows that that thought is there.

Daisy 15:53

I'm not even sure that it knows that it's thinking it.

Kathi 15:56

Oh, okay.

Daisy 15:58

Because then it would have its own mind. No, it's just doing it. So we have 70,000 thoughts a day. It's not like a little man in the moon is sitting there in the mind. And that is that say, okay, so let me think this, let me think that. No, thoughts come and go and that's okay. But let's take our power back and choose thoughts to which our body, our system will respond differently. Because the mind cannot distinguish if it is made up, fantasized, imagined, terribly reconstructed, or very well reconstructed. It doesn't know the difference; the body will respond. So the biochemistry that we're experiencing, that is an automatic response mechanism. Now we can use that for our own benefit. There are laboratories worldwide that are making experiments with that, and it's measurable, they can measure the stress hormones, cortisol, adrenaline, and so forth. And the other way around, also endorphins, dopamine, so we can use that for ourselves. Therefore, uncertainty can be actually a great inspiration. But only when the reptilian is not overly active and saying or signaling to us that this is life threatening, this is horrible, there's nothing we can do, hopelessness, helplessness, out of control, and then everything else shuts off. We cannot possibly think realistically, rationally, creatively.

Kathi 17:28

Here's a good question for you, Daisy, is there a good way to quieten the reptilian brain in less than a minute?

Daisy 17:37

So are you trying me to compress a book that I don't even know 58,000 words into three words?

Kathi 17:46

Well, I'm going to give you 10 words. (Laughter)

Daisy 17:51

Just think of it, the situation, whatever the situation you're in right now. Is it truly life threatening, or does it just feel as if it was life threatening? I do believe that is a question we can ask ourselves that already, probably most of the time, based on my humble experience, will put things into perspective.

Kathi 18:13

Yeah, I agree. And that is what I was looking for. I think that's one of your best lines is to just sit there and ask yourself is this really life or death? Now, I know that in today's world, where there's this virus running rampant, and there's a lot of fear around it, having the ability to make people sick and hurt our families. But at the end of the day, we're exposed to those things every minute, it just happens to be that this one is overwhelmingly large. But regardless,

Daisy 18:51

overpopular,

Kathi 18:53

regardless of this particular world event, normal everyday life has the same uncertainties. You could get in a car accident, you could be crossing the road and have an accident, you could be doing anything at any time, you don't know what's going to happen. So there's always uncertainty. It just feels bigger right now, because of what's going on. That's my take on it. Then the media, getting on board and driving the fear, which is what concerns us the most, I think that we would both agree that we're concerned that the fear is being driven out into the world. And so our answer to that is to talk about it in these sorts of ways so that we can help you cope with that. So here's how you turn down your reptilian brain. Ask yourself, is it actually life or death for me in this moment? And if it isn't, well, then there's your answer. You can calm your reptilian brain down and access the other parts of your brain to cope with it better, whether that be your creativity center or something else that you like to do.

Daisy 20:09

Yeah, well, I think this episode is almost like an extension of what we did on anxiety and fear a little bit, it's going into this direction. But nevertheless, I do believe uncertainty is not controllable. It's out of our control how much uncertainty is out there, I do believe the level, or the count of uncertainty is rather mostly the same, but how we perceive it.

Kathi 20:34

Oh, you took the words right out of my mouth. I was just going to say that I think it's probably perception, because I know that it affects me less than it effects other people. But then I have tools in place to make sure that that's so.

Daisy 20:50

So when we stop trying to control what we cannot control anyways and create some certainties in our everyday lives. For example, okay, what am I certain about? Technically, it's not correct how I say it. I know that because it's not like the sun rises, because technically how things move around this a little bit differently, but we call it sunrise, and the majority of our listeners would agree that they've seen a sunrise. And yeah, I know that tomorrow the sun is going to rise, because it was so since I remember, that's a certainty. So focus on that, if that gives you some stability. Because most of the things in our lives, we cannot control. So the sooner we give up the uncontrollable or trying to control the uncontrollable, the better off we are. Because life is a series of uncertainties, period. Now you've got your in between of the 30 seconds episode.

Kathi 21:54

There you go. I just did 30 seconds into 30 minutes. I have a gift. (Laughter)

Daisy 22:02

Yes, you do, many.

Kathi 22:03

So there you go, people that's our take on uncertainty. We hope that talking about it has helped you and we

hope that reminding you of your reptilian brain and how it works and how you can dim it allows you to access the other parts of your brain that will help you cope with the uncertainty. So whatever it is for you that helps you cope, I want to see you go do more of that. For me it is painting. I love painting. I love putting on music, pouring a glass of wine, putting my paint apron on, getting all my stuff out and just getting right into the experience and not even thinking about the rest of the world. What do you do Daisy?

Daisy 22:47

Oh, there's so many things I do. I write scripts for empowering audio programs, then I test them. Then I look at the results from the beta groups. Then I'm writing poetry, I compose music. I do of course, lots of nail work. I truly love steel nails. And well, I research and I find things that allow me to understand the uncertainty instead of trying to control it.

Kathi 23:18

I like that.

Daisy 23:19

For example, I had a time in my life where I painted roses. And I had a specific technique and I did it with a knife. I didn't even paint them. It was very interesting. I didn't even know why I did it. It was just I had the feeling and then I had that canvas and I put it on the floor and I had the canvas actually between my legs between my feet, it was there on the ground, and I bent over and then I just did it and all of a sudden it was a rose. And before I painted on this empty canvas or knifed on this empty canvas, I thought to myself, may you become what you want to become. So that was like an internal conversation that I had with a canvas. Imagine them talking to a canvas? Well, not but the intention was there.

Kathi 24:03

Yeah, actually, that's how I always paint funnily enough, I have only ever planned two paintings out of all of the ones I've done. And when I say paint, I use crystals and feathers and all sorts of other things in my paintings too.

Daisy 24:18

Mixed media.

Kathi 24:19

Yeah, but I like it to just be able to evolve into whatever it's going to be. And for me, that's the fun part. It's not as much fun to plan and create something that I know, you know, I mean, that was fun. But this is way more fun for me. So I'm spinning the uncertainty around and go, come on, show me on canvas. And that for me. It's great fun.

Daisy 24:42

Yeah, and actually, I believe one more thing is important to be mentioned here. The control is an illusion. There's only so little we can control and we were taught that control is power. And we see it in certain aspects around the globe. But when we start focusing on what we can control and start enjoying the opportunities instead of trying to spend our energy on making something differently than it is, that we cannot change anyways. Let's talk money. What's your return on investment on this? If you consistently spend your energy onto something that you cannot control anyways, if it was money, no one would do it. No one would invest in that, because their ROI is just below zero. So why would you do it?

Kathi 25:30

Yeah, good example. Again, I think it's still perception because money is something that is needed to survive and so it becomes much more important to people in certain circumstances. So it's a good example to use.

Daisy 25:44

But if I'm spending my energy on things that I cannot control anyways, it's a full loss. It's like throwing my energy out the window.

Kathi 25:55

So might as well burn the money.

Daisy 25:59

Yeah, yeah. Or rip it into pieces, so why would you do that to our energy. And I do believe when we just accept that uncertainty is existent at all times, and the level of control that we are taught we'd have is rather an illusion and when you look into that deeper, you will find a great piece of peace.

Kathi 26:23

Yeah, I 100% agree with that. So that is our final thought for you today, guys. We've had a great time bringing you this episode. Thank you to all our listeners. Thank you to all our supporters. We hope that you share our episodes with your family and friends because we know that there's something in them for everyone.

Daisy 26:45

And if you did not check out yet the Change Your Life in 8 Minutes, you can go onto the baldandblonde.live website and check it out there. It's really something that's life changing in eight minutes. Check it out. It's fun.

Kathi 26:59

It is amazing. Go and check out what that's all about. This is us for today. We will see you next week. Not literally, but there you go. We are Bald and Blonde

Daisy 27:12

Mindset Evolution. Talk to you soon.

Daisy 27:16

Thank you for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. If you love what you're hearing, please subscribe to our podcast. In our show notes, you'll find the link to our Facebook group where you can personally connect with Daisy and Kathi and the link to our website where you can find all of our previous episodes and much more of goodies so you can get more value. Please leave us a review on Apple podcast or Podchaser, that really helps out the show and help us to get some powerful feedback from you. Talk to you soon.