SUMMARY KEYWORDS

tolerance, tolerate, low tolerance, bananas, people, respect, iguana, life, violent movies, community, taught, listeners, very low tolerance, irreparable, healthier, violence, episode, picture, wall

SPEAKERS

Kathi, Daisy

Daisy 00:03

Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the mindset evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are. And here are your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.

Kathi 00:27

And hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution. I'm your host from Down Under, Kathi Tait the Baldwarrior and with me, as always, is our host from the Florida Keys, Daisy Papp. Hi, Daisy, how are you?

Daisy 00:46

Hi, my dear friend Kathi, so good to see you and hear you it is just what a blessing and for the nice day to celebrate life and what a nice day to celebrate us. And I think we can share this with our listeners because we just got news that we have listeners in 54 countries. Yes!

Kathi 01:05

Yay!

Daisy 01:07

Wonderful. Thank you so much, dear listeners, every single one of you, we are so grateful towards you, because without you this cannot happen. And I know that it must be you who shares because we don't advertise our podcast, so I'm so amazed, I'm so excited and I'm truly filled with gratitude and thankfulness. And I'm thrilled and thank you so much, I send each of you a big hug, truly, and maybe close your eyes for a moment and just imagine if you like hugs, of course, if you are culturally not open for hugs, then that's fine, too. But all those who are open to receive hugs, please receive my hug. I hug you right now. Thank you so much.

Kathi 01:50

It is truly amazing. When I as the accountant in our duo do the calculations, 54 countries is actually nearly 27% of the world. So we are super, super excited, and hello to you guys out there all around the globe, it is great to have you with us. We're excited to talk to each and every one of you and encourage you all to share this with as many of your family and friends as you can because we know it will help you all in your day-to-day life to be happier and healthier, and build better communities.

Daisy 02:28

Simply absolutely, yes.

Kathi 02:30

I think in the spirit of building better communities, today's topic kind of fits right in because with this element in place, I think that they can be really healthy and happy communities. So today we're going to talk about

tolerance, Daisy.

Daisy 02:48

Oh, okay. So I'm not sure what I'm going to speak about tolerance. No clue yet, but okay, so I caught it, because you just threw it at me. Got it, (laughter) tolerate it.

Kathi 02:58

Would you agree that if you had tolerance in a community, it makes it a healthier community?

Daisy 03:05

Truly, yes, I totally agree. It is an ability, okay, so let me rephrase this. What is tolerance? Tolerance is something also they have it in science, right? There's a tolerance, or when they measure things, there's a tolerance. So it's very interesting that we call it as tolerance and what we define it as, mmh?

Daisy 03:30

So I believe tolerance is something that I can endorse. So how far can I go? What is it that I can tolerate, and when is it when I build up my Chinese wall? Literally, you know, that protection wall that most of us have, the capability and ability of putting up virtually, and in order to keep these walls down, so I don't need to artificially pretend that I can protect myself, because actually, I'm just pretending it because it's not really protecting me when I put an emotional wall out there. It's almost I think, rather a filter. It's not really a wall that keeps something out. It's an illusion. But when we are tolerant with one another, amongst another, within a community, within a group, within a business, within partnerships, within friendships, within families, then I believe there's an additional addon to it. What are the rules? Because without rules, things get wishy-washy, and then the tolerance gets wishy-washy. So I tolerate that you throw a topic at me, the moment we push record, and I don't know and I didn't even check your sleeves to have a peek what's under there or what do you have up your sleeve and then you just throw it at me I tolerate that. So it's also a level of tolerance. Why? Because I will handle it somehow, worst case I say I have nothing to say and then the that's the end of the topic. (Laughter)

Kathi 03:30

Yes.

Daisy 05:01

Well, the end of the episode, or we will just detour and speak about something else. I'm sure we can do that as well. So tolerance, it is also related to opinions. Can I tolerate that you have a different opinion? Can I tolerate that you have different likes? Can I tolerate that you have a different sound of voice? Can I tolerate that you have a different pronunciation? We all have our kind of allergies, so I call, so they're things...okay, I give you a little insight into my life. When I smell banana, I'm out of here. The smell of bananas drives me, I must leave, I'm escaping. I've cannot explain why. I ate bananas when I was a child, I ate bananas when I was a teenager, I ate bananas as a young adult. And all of a sudden, I think it happened maybe two, three years ago, I just can't stand the smell anymore. And within my family, it's funny, so my son, he likes to chase me.

Kathi 06:06

With bananas?

Daisy 06:07

Yes, bananas. He shows me the banana and then I'm leaving. It's not funny. So I have a very low tolerance for bananas. Even the look of it makes me kind of ugh, so I'm sitting on edges, I want to escape. So I have low tolerance for bananas. I have high tolerance for pineapple. So now the question is, can my son tolerate that I have a low tolerance when it comes to bananas?

Kathi 06:33

Well, I think he likes it just fine. He gets a giggle out of it.

Daisy 06:37

Yes, certainly. But now when we take that into community, so how much can I tolerate what you cannot tolerate? So it has a lot to do with respect, I believe, because the more respectful a human I am, the more tolerant I can be. Don't you think it goes hand in hand?

Kathi 06:58

I think that definitely makes sense. And I would also, I'm looking at this going I think healthy boundaries are also a part of this picture as well, aren't they?

Daisy 07:07

Mm-hmm. Now can we tolerate other people's behavior? And how much can we tolerate other people's behavior? For example, mathematics, it's very interesting when you listen to a mathematics professor who was teaching all his life or her life, and you show them a different way how to get to the same result? Because the result is either correct or it's not. Does it really matter at all how we get to the result? Now, when you listen to these professors, they are almost allergic, so they have very low tolerance, when you show them another way, how you get to the result.

Kathi 07:45

Hmm.

Daisy 07:45

So it also has to do with the pictures we have in our head, how we believe the world is, how we perceive it, and what we believe to be true. Now, I think key is, how can we increase tolerance?

Kathi 08:00

Definitely, that's the key.

Daisy 08:02

That does not mean to make any foul deals. Okay, so I'm going to tolerate it now because he said so. My son asked me to tolerate his banana-eating in front of me, well, I could if I wanted to, but I don't want to you see, now we can build a bridge and make an agreement. You can have as many bananas as you want, and I even buy them for you. I bring them home for you. I even serve them to you until the peals close because otherwise, they start smelling, and make sure that you get rid of them one way or the other before they get too ripe and really stink the whole house. Now, in order to have that tolerance, we must have respect and also have a communication somewhat. Why? Because no one's a mind reader. Now how can we increase it? How can we increase tolerance? It may sound boring that I say it again, but it all starts within. How much do I tolerate myself? Can I stand the way I think? Can I stand the way I stand? My standard, the art of standing, can I stand the way I speak? Can I stand the way I present myself? Or can I not? I remember when I moved here to the United States many years ago, I still was much more small squared. I call it this way in geometry, you have the paper that has millimeters and squares so that you can draw more precisely and such.

Kathi 09:32

Yeah, it's called graph paper.

Daisy 09:33

Graph paper, thank you. We call it a German millimeter puppia. And I was so organized in specific areas of my life that I considered myself being small squared, or graph paper-like, so then I went into bigger squares and now I don't have these lines anymore. I freed myself from the rest of those, I say limitations that I was aware of and then sometimes some more limitations show up. So when I now look back at me, my tolerance was much lower regarding specific ideas, regarding specific behaviors, regarding specific tolerable settings and I think I said it in one of the early episodes that I went out with someone who was fond of me, and I was invited for lunch, and it was really very nice, but the way he ate I just couldn't stand it, truly. But he was a very nice man. Back then, I did not tolerate it. Today, I would probably tolerate it much more, because my values have changed too. Because to me today, who has a good heart has a good heart. And if you have a good heart, come on in, I'm here and my world is open to you. Because you can't buy that.

Kathi 10:47

Yeah,

Daisy 10:48

Can't train that.

Kathi 10:49

So these squares, this graph paper, and the squares becoming bigger for you, it sounds like an analogy for, as you learned, and grew, your mindset opened with it, which then part of that was your tolerance growing?

Daisy 11:07

In regards to very specific things? I believed back then, so I still do today that I was very open-minded back then, otherwise, why would I move continents? I'm not sure if someone with really small-mindedness. habitual thinking can make steps cross country is the thing, but then cross-continent, I think it requires some open-mindedness and courage. Now, nevertheless, it's not about aging. It's about the experience that we collect or acquire throughout life. I know a young woman, she's German, she's 23 years old, she has the wisdom and she sounds experienced as if she was 80 years old. Some like to label that as oh, she must be an old soul. Well, maybe she is, I don't know. Nevertheless, she also has low tolerance towards cameras. She's camera shy, she does not like when people take pictures of her. There's very rare occasions that she allows herself to be photographed, for whatever reason, she has her reasons and I respect that. Now, the question is, do the people in her little world, in her environment respect it? And I do remember when she mentioned to me that sometimes it was challenging to help people understand that I understand that you like to be photographed, can you respect that I don't, you see? So, tolerance is not about age. It has a lot to do with how we grew up, I believe, by the surroundings, what we were taught, what we were conditioned to and into.

Kathi 12:41

Yes, it certainly sounds, all those things in our personal comfort zones, we tolerate very well.

Daisy 12:47

Probably yes. Although I know of people who are claiming that they are in their comfort zones, although it's very uncomfortable for them because it's familiar to them and that's why they stay in it. And they still have low tolerance towards the setting they're in.

Kathi 13:05

Hmm, well, that's interesting. But that was just something that came to mind when you're talking about this young lady, obviously, being photographed was something that was not in her comfort zone and she wasn't willing to change that.

Daisy 13:18

Yeah, that's good. And you see, now here's the thing. That is why respect and tolerance and acceptance, I believe they're somewhat one family, or at least the same bloodline. When it comes to that, they're related very much, because I enjoy when my wishes are respected, my wants are respected, or my levels of tolerance are respected and accepted. Because respecting something does not necessarily mean that it's accepted as well. But we all wish to be accepted and tolerated, of course, and respected. So let's start that within. And there's one more thing that's very important to add here, judge less, judge less. And if your last name is Judge, or if your occupation is judge, then use your last name, that doesn't mean because your last name is Judge that you have to judge all the time and when your occupation is judge, you don't need to judge all the time. So judge less, because judgmental thinking and judgmental behavior lowers the tolerance. The more judgmental I am, the less tolerant I am.

Kathi 14:31

Yeah, that certainly makes sense. Do you think that sometimes when we're intolerant of something, it might be because it triggers us?

Daisy 14:41

Yeah. Something must happen within us in response to something happening outside of us.

Kathi 14:49

Yeah.

Daisy 14:50

And then again, I'm not obligated to respond in any way.

Kathi 14:54

Yeah.

Daisy 14:55

So I know of people they are just sitting there and they are just observing. There's nothing that could trigger them. Nothing.

Kathi 15:04

Well, I would say that about you, too Daisy, and then you bring up the bananas! (Laughter)

Daisy 15:11

Well, yes, I could even go back to the iguanas! By the way, dear listeners out there, can you believe it? A lady who's a graphic designer, she sent Kathi an iguana; a graphic of an iguana sitting on my lounger with a cocktail and Sunbrella. I couldn't believe it. She did it. That was so nice, so thank you so much, dear listener, that you send it to Kathi. Because now listen to this, the lady listened carefully to the podcast episode, apparently, because in the podcast episode, I said, well, okay, send it to Kathi, I don't want it, and so they respected my low tolerance towards iguanas. Of course, I giggled about the picture, I sent it to my friends all over the globe because I find it hilarious. And I have to say the graph is really awesome. And the smile, that smirk that this iguana has! But, yes, I have low tolerance towards bananas and there are probably some other things. I also have low tolerance when it comes to potty mouth; potty mouth on Daisy's gone, that's it?

Kathi 16:18

Yeah.

Daisy 16:19

And I'm not willing to change that, for many reasons.

Kathi 16:24

And obviously, a low tolerance towards iguanas sleeping on your sun lounge as well.

Daisy 16:29

Yeah, I'm not really happy about it. But I have to say, I'm glad I turn towards gratitude, so I'm glad I can see it. So I'm grateful for my eyes at the same moment instead of being really upset. But yes, do things upset me at times? Yes, and sometimes I like to be upset. I spoke about that in one of the episodes as well, when I was really upset because of the electrician who finally wanted to do something and then it wasn't done by the time I was finished with my session with a client and I go out and it doesn't work. And then I was really upset, and I said, I'm so upset. And you know, I am allowed to be upset, and then it really doesn't take long. And then I thought okay, so let me extend this upset moment. And then my son started playing this, I feel good, da, da, da, da, da, da, da! (Laughter). So that wasn't successful, either. But thank you so much, Kathi, for seeing me that I have high tolerance, I do believe I do have, I have low tolerance when it comes to violence. And I don't say that only when it comes to violence, I have low tolerance towards violence when it happens in my community, or where I live or where I hear about it. No, personally, I don't watch violent movies, my tolerance is so low that I don't. And oh, well, some people may think, well, you must live a really boring life. Oh, well, I wonder how is it related to watch violent movies and having a boring life? I have a very content life without violent movies. So one does not exclude the other you see.

Kathi 18:03

Yeah, it's interesting, you bring up violent movies as an example. And I would even add the gaming market to that because I definitely think that they're actually exposing a generation of young people to a lot more violence than previously people have been exposed to at such a young age. And that does give me great concern that is happening, because that's got to affect a young psyche, surely, exposing them to that amount of violence, whether it's in movie form, game form, yeah. What do you think about that?

Daisy 18:41

I'm very much with you on that. When we have look, where it's originated, where these video games originate, they were created to train military to be more sufficient and efficient, having a faster response and numbing them to the levels of violence. So when we now think that something is used for military, for them to be more efficient, and more brutal, let's face it, and colder and Okay, so I don't have a problem killing, da, da, da, da, da, whatever, in military. Well, when you sign up for military, that's what you sign up for. So it's not about going and meditate in Tibet. Just, I know, this is a stretch, but you know what you signed up for. Now, when we look at it, that it was made for training a specific group of people for a specific purpose, and now it's released or unleashed on the public and in addition to it, it's very addictive, huge damage to the brain. Irreparable, by the way, one of the neuroscientists I very much like to listen to, he's a German scientist, Professor Dr. Gerlad Huether and he mentioned in one of his lectures that its irreparable because in the stages of development, where we would develop healthy bonding, creativity, belonging, and that's all missed. And we cannot develop in that, while we're playing these video games, more and more in specific age groups, and also later on, and as you mentioned too, it's numbing even more. They just released, I do not say which company it is because I'm not going to have this as my low tolerance level, you see, I'm not going to make advertisement for a company that I do not appreciate what they just released as a program, a video game, where it is stay home. It's a video game where people who are in the lockdown, and they see someone is violating the lockdown, or they're exempt from the lockdown for whatever reason, that then they take measures on them. Now imagine what it is a teaching to the population? What a sicko group of minds is behind that. Now you see, this is low tolerance.

Kathi 21:06

That's extremely concerning.

Daisy 21:10

I agree with you.

Kathi 21:12

Wow.

Daisy 21:12

Yeah.

Kathi 21:13

Wow,

Daisy 21:14

and well, so now let's take our power back. Only because we are taught, do not have tolerance, I don't tolerate that, all these violent movies, violent video games only because we are taught that's cool to do, only because we know okay, so this is what the youngsters do nowadays, does not mean when you dear listener out there are a youngster that then you must do it too. No, go back to yourself and notice. Because when you need to increase your tolerance for violence to be capable and adaptable at all to play these horrible games, then it actually gives you in your conscience that something's off. Now listen to your own tolerance levels and take inventory, and then start asking questions. Okay, is this still up to date? Or is that maybe a low tolerance level that I learned from my parents, from my grandparents, from my teachers, from the community, from people in the congregation, from people at the sports club? Because all of them had low tolerance towards ABC. Question it! And the same goes now towards racism because is it truly that it's the skin pigmentation, the amount of pigments in a skin that you have low tolerance for? Are you kidding? Not you, I'm talking to myself about my thoughts somewhat, it's just burping out. So I do not believe that we were born with that. No, we were taught, oh, because oh no, you cannot have tolerance. Let's stop it. I do believe this crisis around the globe nowadays teaches us a great deal. Great opportunity here to grow and evolve as humanity, evolve as homosapiens. Take back your power, stop the brainwashed systems, you can exit. I did it. I don't watch TV since 25 years, very rarely. So I know when once in a while, there's something I would like to watch, let's say there's a horse race like the Kentucky Derby or something that I would like to see on television that I need to call for help on the phone because I forgot how to switch on the TV. That's how rarely I use it because I have three different remote controls to switch it on and then channel and this and then you have this HDMI, so it's really challenging when you don't do it all the time. So it is possible to exit. When I was able to do it, you too, if you feel like it, or go forward and continue numbing yourself. When you exit though, be ready that you will become so much more sensitive to so many things that are not really going well nowadays and maybe decades, centuries. I think it is important to check your tolerance and why is it that you have low or high tolerance towards something.

Kathi 24:07

Yeah, so start with a self-analysis. We always say everything begins within, yes.

Daisy 24:13

Inventory, because analyzes, I'm not so sure of analyzing is a good thing. I think inventory. So fact check what's in there, I think analyzing has a little bit of overthinking to me by my definition. And then let's say when you have a co-worker who's treating you a certain way, and you still tolerate it, although it bothers you really, really, really very, very, very much. Then ask yourself, why am I tolerating that? How come I have such a high level of tolerance, that I'm enduring that the person is cussing at me or I don't know, bad-mouthing me or maybe even threatening my character, like my reputation, character assassination. So why am I still tolerating it? Very important that we start having a look.

Kathi 25:03

And I would say, why don't I put up a boundary around that for my own self-respect.

Daisy 25:10

Mm-hmm. Because that's learnable. I have a great example, I just recently started working with a lady who was unclear with her boundaries. And she learned within nine days, and three sessions, how to set healthy boundaries, and no one is treating her as they did before. So nine days, so it's possible to learn it, and learn how to respect yourself, and make sure that you can tolerate what you're doing.

Kathi 25:40

Yeah.

Daisy 25:41

Be at peace within you. So the more at peace I am with me, the easier it is for me to tolerate even things that are usually not so my precious likes on the list, let's say the top 10. So when I'm in a very good mood, which I usually am, then the banana is really a giggle. Let's say I'm not feeling so good, let's say I overworked and I didn't sleep because I worked until 7 am or something, it happens in my life, yes, more than once a month, at least sometimes even five times a week. So I believe that my tolerance towards bananas lowers. So therefore, self-care is so important. You see how everything is intertwined and interconnected?

Kathi 26:27

Absolutely. Yes, it certainly is. And I 100% agree with that last point that our tolerance changes, probably with our moods and our patience levels. It is such a subjective thing, even within oneself.

Daisy 26:44

Mm-hmm

Kathi 26:44

And I think really when I'm faced with situations that I find hard to tolerate, I either try to remove myself, or I try and step back mentally and take a bit of a deep breath to separate myself. So I try not to react emotionally. Things I do first, if and I'm probably like you, I do love bananas, but oysters and mussels and hairy fish, they're out! (laughter) So, I have zero tolerance for a hairy fish anywhere near my dinner.

Daisy 27:23

And that is okay. Now there can also be a tolerance in health, those who have, let's say, shellfish allergies, there's a low tolerance.

Kathi 27:33

Oh, absolutely. I have a lactose intolerance. And they actually call it that they don't call it an allergy. They call it an intolerance, which is interesting within itself that they call it that. But yes, absolutely. So it's a very wide-reaching topic, tolerance and I wanted this to be a discussion that covers a lot of those things and I think it has, and I think to close, we just need to bring it back to our point of doing that self-inventory, making sure that you communicate your boundaries, that you have respect, and acceptance, they are all things that will grow tolerance within yourself and within your community, within your family. And we truly hope that you take these lessons and share them with people within your family and your community because we do believe that they will help you build better, healthier, happier families and communities, life.

Daisy 28:32

Yes, and judge less.

Kathi 28:36

Yes, and judge less, love it. And we'll end on that note. Thank you, Daisy, thank you to our audience for your time and for your respect for us in giving us your time by listening to us each episode and sharing it with your family and friends. We really appreciate you.

Daisy 28:55

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. And please continue sharing and when you like what you hear, give us a review, give us a five star of course we love that because five stars is more than four if you feel like it because we want sincere reviews. And also if you can, support us because we want to keep our podcast ad-free because I believe that our conversations and our episodes deserve to remain ad-free. And Kathi and I we're doing everything and anything to keep it this way and we appreciate all the help that we've received so far. And when you can, we appreciate your help too. Thank you so much.

Kathi 29:35

Yeah, that's a great point, Daisy. You can go over to baldandblonde.live and there's a button to support us on Patreon if you would like to do that we would love, love that, thank you so much. And that's it from us today. We'll see you next week for another awesome episode. We are Bald and Blonde

Daisy 29:54

Mindset Evolution. Bye.

Daisy 29:58

Thank you for tuning in. To the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. If you love what you're hearing, please subscribe to our podcast. In our show notes, you'll find the link to our Facebook group where you can personally connect with Daisy and Kathi and the link to our website where you can find all of our previous episodes and much more of goodies so you can get more value. Please leave us a review on Apple Podcast or Podchaser that really helps out the show and helps us to get some powerful feedback from you. Talk to you soon.