READ & LISTEN
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
grizzly bear, anxiety, absolutely, people, happened, laughter, experienced, life, create, canada, reptilian brain, ferocious, podcast, feel, suffer, senses, perceive, future, walk
SPEAKERS
Kathi, Daisy
Daisy 00:01
Bald and Blonde. Welcome to the mindset evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are. And here your hosts Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.
Kathi 00:25
Hi everybody. This is Kathi Tait the baldwarrior and hello from down under in Australia. It is great to be back with another episode and great to have you all with us listening in and with me, of course is Daisy Papp from Florida Keys on the other side of the world. Hi Daisy, how are you?
Daisy 00:44
Hi, dear friend, Kathi, thank you so much. I'm doing fine. It's a wonderful, wonderful day, actually the end of the day and I'm ready for the weekend after a long week filled with clients and editing and writing and all kinds of exciting, exciting tasks. And I'm just very, very content at this time. And of course, I'm very content to see you and speak to you. And how are you?
Kathi 01:11
I am wonderful Daisy, I'm really excited right now as well, even though this is probably the fifth or sixth episode you're listening to out there in real time. We're recording right before we launch. So we launch in a few days. So we're very, very excited about that. And we're really excited about the work we're doing with our tribe in Facebook in our group dream life creators, which is going to be a lot of extra stuff around the podcast, but also giving people a dream life blueprint. So we're very, super excited about both the podcast and the work that we're doing in there. And of course, working with private clients is also extremely satisfying.
Daisy 01:52
Absolutely. So fulfilling. It's like the applause for an artist after a great performance. That's the bread.
Kathi 02:01
Absolutely.
Daisy 02:02
To Life elixir.
Kathi 02:04
Yeah. And in fact, I was inspired this week to pick our topic by my son who actually got on Facebook and shared some deeper meaningful experience he has had with anxiety.
Daisy 02:18
Hmm
Kathi 02:18
And so I thought, I bet Chris is not alone in that. I bet there are millions of people out there that do also suffer from anxiety. So I wanted to make it a topic and talk about it today.
Daisy 02:31
Okay,
Kathi 02:31
But it's not something that I have personally experienced Daisy, so we're going to lean a lot on you today. I know that you've told me you've experienced it personally, yourself. So what I want to do is talk to the audience about what anxiety is, and then give them some tools on how to handle it when they experience it. How does that sound to you?
Daisy 02:52
Yes, ma'am. (Laughter). Another great pick of a topic, like always, because to our listeners out there, Kathi is picking the topics. And then she throws it at me. So I'm always like, I know like a team player and I'm waiting for a ball to come, but I have to unwrap it first before I see what's in there.
Daisy 03:17
Well, great topic. And I agree there are millions if not billions of people experiencing anxiety at times at least once in their lives.
Kathi 03:25
Absolutely.
Daisy 03:26
Yes. So what is anxiety?
Kathi 03:28
And of course it comes in different degrees, doesn't it from mild to debilitating.
Daisy 03:34
Absolutely. Panic attacks and where you're really frozen so where people are disabled,
Kathi 03:39
Yeah
Daisy 03:39
to live on their own or live a life that could be joyful.
Kathi 03:43
Yes
Daisy 03:44
Absolutely. Terrifying and horrifying for some people, really, really extraordinary experiences. And then for somebody who never experienced it, it may look weird, and maybe somebody thinks oh yeah, they're just making it up to get attention. No, no, anxiety is a very real thing. When I think of anxiety, I believe how I would describe it is anxiety is your body's reaction to perception.
Kathi 04:10
To perception.
Daisy 04:11
Yeah.
Kathi 04:12
So let's explain that further because that's probably going to confuse a little.
Daisy 04:16
Okay. So there are five senses we have agreed?
Kathi 04:20
Yes.
Daisy 04:21
We see, we hear, we smell, we taste and we feel either something happens outside of me that I perceive through my five senses and my body is going to respond with matching feelings, emotions, energy in motion.
Kathi 04:34
Yes
Daisy 04:35
Let's say you and I, we walk in Canada and then all of a sudden there's the grizzly bear. We probably knowing what the grizzly bear is and can do.
Kathi 04:43
Or in Australia, the dreaded drop bear! (Laughter)
Daisy 04:48
Which is a myth. Whoever goes to Australia don't get into the....
Kathi 04:54
Don't ruin it Daisy! It's a real thing. (Laughter)
Daisy 04:56
No, no, no, no, no. Not going to support anything that's causing science.... (More laughter)
Kathi 05:04
So just aside everybody out there, it's a joke I have just let Daisy in on before we recorded. Go to YouTube in Google dropbear, and you'll be in on the joke, and that's all we're going to say on that one.
Kathi 05:17
Back to the grizzly bear.
Daisy 05:18
Okay, so you and I walk in the woods in Canada, and all of a sudden there appears in front of us this great big well grown,
Kathi 05:26
ferocious,
Daisy 05:27
huge, grizzly bear. Yeah, well,
Kathi 05:29
I imagine,
Daisy 05:30
exactly. You see the word you chose. When you think of ferocious, it already feeds to your brain a wow, it's ferocious, ohh (quick indrawn breath sound) fear. Ohh
Kathi 05:38
Yes. Yes, absolutely, because words have connotations and some have stronger connotations than others. That's an English word meaning we put emotions under words.
Daisy 05:49
Yes, but only if you know the word.
Kathi 05:52
Right, yes.
Daisy 05:53
Because again, let's go back to perception. Everything you perceive through your five senses goes through an evaluation process, positive, negative or neutral?
Kathi 06:03
Yeah,
Daisy 06:04
So when I hear "Oh, that's terrifying. It's horrifying, ferocious", then that's probably not a fun word like YouTube cute animal babies, funniest videos of the century.
Kathi 06:16
Yeah.
Daisy 06:17
So we give meaning to it. Because of the meaning we give to a specific word, or then other things that we perceive through our five senses can be smell, can be taste, can be something we hear.
Kathi 06:29
Yes
Daisy 06:30
Can be something we see or we feel. Let's say somebody grabs my neck and tries to choke me, that's terrifying as well. But when I give the choking itself a meaning my body will respond already when I have a reference to it.
Kathi 06:43
Absolutely.
Daisy 06:44
So back to the grizzly bear. So you and I, we see the grizzly bear that is something we perceive in the right here, right now. It's a real threat.
Kathi 06:52
Yes.
Daisy 06:52
What happens in our brains? We have a switch. No, we don't have actually a switch in there. Well, let me put that correctly. We don't have literally a switch in there, but actually we do.
Kathi 07:04
There's a chemical switch.
Daisy 07:05
Yeah, well, yes, yes. Something that kicks in, in our reptilian brain or brainstem or our complex, primitive brain, that Oh my god, ohh, threat and all that really matters now, lots of circulation goes into your legs and arms to either run away or fight it with your hands, or you freeze and faint.
Kathi 07:09
Yeah
Daisy 07:09
So with a grizzly bear, I would probably most likely run. That's what I think now. I don't know, I've never been face to face with a grizzly bear.
Kathi 07:30
I saw that if you come face to face with a bear don't run because it will chase you.
Daisy 07:41
Well, don't take that for granted. Make your own research. We are not responsible for what you do with a grizzly bear. Go do your homework.
Kathi 07:48
It was a comedy movie. (Laughter)
Daisy 07:53
See, I had the feeling, I had the feeling. We're not like it.
Kathi 07:58
And I've never seen a grizzly bear either, folks, so...
Daisy 08:00
No, but now let's say when I am sitting here in my office, and I'm just starting to think, oh, what if I ever plan to go to Canada with Kathi? And what am I going to do when we are going to face a grizzly bear? Now what happens? There's something that happens verbally. So the words I speak and the pictures I make up in my head, the pictures, I create, construct, reconstruct, mmh? and then my body will respond to the self-talk, the story I'm telling myself and the pictures I have in my head. So for the reptilian brain, it is really not important if it's a real threat that actually happens right here right now in front of me while you and I are in Canada walking in the woods, and the grizzly bear appears in front of us or if we imagine the grizzly bear being there in front of us while I'm walking in Canada in the woods with Kathi.
Kathi 08:04
Right, I get it. So you're saying that whether it is actually happening in the physical world or whether we are just creating it in our minds, it is the same thing to our primitive brain.
Daisy 09:03
Yes. And now when the reptilian brain switches on your fine motor skills to, for example, put a thread through your needle, it's not really opportune to at that point we because probably you have shaky hands, and most of all, you have everything that you have inside of you instinctively, genetically to either fight, flight or freeze.
Kathi 09:25
Yeah,
Daisy 09:25
That's it. That is the moment when you for example, you have this beautiful credenza in your living room and all of a sudden you bump into it. It was there since 10 years, you know it even blind, even when it's pitch dark at night and you walk to the kitchen around that you know exactly where it is. But the moment your reptilian is on, you may miss it or you drop the vase. That's oh my from grandmother's inheritance, and oh, what did I do? So we're not that refined when the reptilian is let's say the captain.
Kathi 09:53
Yeah, yeah.
Daisy 09:54
So what can we do? Let's say I'm sitting here, and I think wow, there's so many planes crashing in the world. Well, nowadays less because there's less air traffic. And then I start thinking, yeah, well, I'm going to travel quite soon overseas, and then what's going to happen when I'm sitting there on the plane? And oh, and actually when I remember then, yeah, well, my mom, my brother, my godfather, they crashed in a plane and so now I'm kicking in one picture inspires me to think the next picture, the next picture, so it's a spiral.
Kathi 10:26
Yes
Daisy 10:26
Like one thing leads to another or in an argument, one word leads to another, same mechanism in the head, and then my body will respond automatically. It always creates the matching feelings to the thoughts we're thinking or the pictures we're making up in our head. Now, what are thoughts, thoughts are the words we say to ourselves, or we rehearse inside internally, or the pictures we remember or reconstruct or imagine. Oh, you're imagining things. Exactly. But for me, it feels very real. What I'm imagining it feels very, very real. The husband who has cheated on, suffers just as much as the husband who believes and suspects that he's cheated on, both the same. It doesn't matter if it's really actually happening or if you make it up in your head based on past experiences, or based on your fears towards the future. Doesn't matter. Where do you suffer, when? Right here right now? Stop it, where it's easier said than done.
Kathi 11:23
Well yes, yes. But you make a good point that both of those things you've said about living outside of the moment.
Daisy 11:31
Well, almost always correct. Because when you and I are in Canada in the woods, well, by the way, we're not getting paid to advertise travel to Canada visit the grizzly bears. (Laughter)
Kathi 11:41
We're open to it though, Canada.
Daisy 11:44
Yeah. Well, we have some listeners I already know in Canada, because I got some feedback who heard about
our project and our podcasts. So hello to Canada.
Kathi 11:54
Hi Canada. I have a couple of friends in Canada too, actually.
Daisy 11:59
You see, soon, not one grizzly bear yet, so I'm open. No, kidding. So the pictures I'm creating in my head based on I see what happens right here right now. Because the grizzly bear's in front of me, my body will respond to it.
Kathi 12:14
Right. So in the instance where the grizzly bear's actually in front of you, yes. But we're talking about anxiety, which is actually kind of living in the future, right. I mean, it's a product of thinking thoughts that aren't happening right here right now.
Daisy 12:18
Yes. Or it is copying the past and projecting that into the future.
Kathi 12:38
Right
Daisy 12:39
The husband who divorced his wife, beloved, an absolutely amazing beautiful wedding but then something happened, all went wrong, whatever went wrong, and he did not solve the pain, the grief, the blame, the shame within him, he most likely, but surely very often, will just when he meets Miss Right, this is why she's amazing but what if she is going to do exactly the same? So what does he do? He takes a snapshot from the past and projects it in the future and suffers right here right now and makes his life in the present miserable.
Kathi 13:18
That actually happened to me.
Daisy 13:21
Oh, yeah, let's discover that. But I'm not talking about the cheating but the anxiety and projection.
Daisy 13:26
Okay, for sure. So I know I have a glass ball. Actually I truly have but I don't see thing in it, so apparently there are some people who look in a glass ball and they can predict the future. I have a different thinking about that, because I believe that free will I can always choose in the present moment where to go. I do not believe that is predestined. I believe in opportunities showing up and I can choose.
Kathi 13:26
No, no, there was no cheating but I'm saying that it was projected upon our marriage something that happened in the past, I believe. Yeah.
Kathi 14:00
I agree with you, but I also agree that you can have visions of a possible future.
Daisy 14:06
Well, that's great.
Kathi 14:07
Because that has happened to me. But I still see it as a possible future, not the only future.
Daisy 14:13
That's right. It's a possibility. Well, it is very possible that one day in my life, I'm going to sit on a plane, and it may crash. It is possible. I cannot know that it's never going to happen. Statistically, though, because there were so many accidents in my past of my ancestors, statistically, it will not happen to me,
Kathi 14:31
It will be highly improbable.
Daisy 14:33
So I'm lucky so I can travel wherever I want. That's at least what I tell myself. Now, that is also no trick because the stories I tell myself and the pictures I make in my head, I construct or imagine in my head.
Kathi 14:46
Right. So let's talk about that because that's something that can help our listeners if they are suffering from
anxiety. Let's tell them what they can do to alleviate it.
Daisy 14:58
Okay.
Kathi 14:58
So if anxiety is a symptom of our perception then it makes sense to me that the root cause is the perception itself?
Daisy 15:07
Well, in order to be able to change your perception, we also need to change the meaning that I give to what I perceive.
Kathi 15:15
Right. So that's the root.
Daisy 15:18
For example, I can only change the support of symptoms by going to the roots and solve it there.
Kathi 15:27
Yeah.
Daisy 15:28
When I solve the root, there is nothing that supports the creating of the symptoms.
Kathi 15:33
Yeah, that makes sense. Yes.
Daisy 15:35
So if somebody out there was abused, hijacked, abducted, or raped or murdered, whatever happened to you out there, there's some people for them, the worst thing that ever happened to them is when their pet died.
True story.
Kathi 15:50
Well, as we said in the beginning, that it comes in a lot of degrees. So mild anxiety right up to debilitation, it is real for the person experiencing it, regardless of how it is compared to someone else's experience, right?
Daisy 16:04
That's right. Very, very to the point. And who am I to judge how severely you're supposed to feel about what happened to you?
Kathi 16:12
Yes.
Daisy 16:12
So whatever happened to you, address things around that time, events, your memories around events around that time when it started, that's where I would start. And when you heal that part within you, then there's no need to copy paste into the future.
Kathi 16:30
Right
Daisy 16:31
Copy from the past and projected into the future.
Kathi 16:34
So then I would say that anxiety clearly shows that there's some trauma that's happened that has not been dealt with.
Daisy 16:40
Yes and no, what is trauma? Somebody can perceive a traumatic event that you and I would, we would just walk by and say, oh, yeah, was it raining or wasn't it right, like a minor thing to us?
Kathi 16:53
Absolutely.
Daisy 16:53
We don't know because maybe a person has a memory where something shocking happened or unexpectedly happened, something they absolutely did not think of could possibly ever, ever happen in their life, and that created such a big stressor and therefore, they never dealt with the memory itself. And therefore everything and anything that may trigger in the outside world or in their inside world, through their five senses the same way as what happened back then, when it reminds them, it relates, and it does not necessarily have to happen consciously. For example, sometimes you walk into a room and it smells so wonderful and you feel like cozy.
Kathi 17:34
Yeah,
Daisy 17:34
Let's say the same smell reminds a woman of the circumstances when she got raped, where she got raped. She's freaking out. Same room. Same smell.
Kathi 17:42
Yes. So we can't attempt to address deeper roots in the podcast, obviously,
Daisy 17:48
no
Kathi 17:48
because they're so individual and personal, but we can say to people, here's something you can do right now. If you're experiencing some anxiety.
Daisy 18:00
Change your physiology.
Kathi 18:01
There we go. So Daisy always has something wonderful and very simple to do for us.
Daisy 18:07
Well, you can do it immediately. Anyone can change their body, the way they stand, their body language, put up your arms, because when you just imagine a depressed person is usually crawled up, shoulders low, chin
down.
Kathi 18:19
Yes,
Daisy 18:20
Eyes down, and a person who just won something amazing whatever is amazing to them, an award, a new
job.
Kathi 18:27
The lotto
Daisy 18:28
The lottery, yes. (laughter) Or they just embrace the birth of a new baby. Right?
Daisy 18:35
and they are just so Wow. So their body language when you think of it in front of your own inner eye, you see that there's a big difference already in the body language in the physiology, so what you can do the quickest is change your physiology. Get up, walk two minutes, up and down your hallway, or in the room in circles, or do jumping jacks if your space is limited, and then focus on something that really always makes you feel good.
Kathi 18:35
Yeah,
Kathi 19:03
Yeah, for me that's music. I have a playlist that is very uplifting and so that's my go to exercise.
Daisy 19:10
Super.
Kathi 19:11
I've known other women who've got a face cloth and screamed into it and then danced around the room to a song.
Daisy 19:18
Yeah?
Kathi 19:19
And so that got their frustration out and then lifted their spirits with the music, so I think it is different people.
Daisy 19:25
Yes. Also, depending on what type they are. Are they more visual? Are they more auditory? Are they more kinesthetic? Mm?
Kathi 19:33
Yeah,
Daisy 19:33
Maybe hey, you know what? I feel so anxious, this moment, would you give me a hug, please?
Kathi 19:38
Yeah
Daisy 19:38
That might already bring them out. That doesn't solve the root though.
Kathi 19:42
Yes
Daisy 19:42
I have not once during the over 25 years of working with clients experienced that something goes away without addressing the root.
Kathi 19:52
Absolutely.
Daisy 19:53
It never happened. I've not witnessed it. Maybe it happens with some other people. I personally have never seen that.
Kathi 19:58
I don't know that it can, Daisy. Like we can only cover it up, compartmentalize, try and forget it, like none of those things, though will actually address the pain or the fallout from whatever trauma it was.
Daisy 20:13
No, in order to change what happened in that traumatic event or what you imagine is going to happen in the future, look at the pictures, change the pictures and listen to the words you're telling yourself or you're rehearsing and change those.
Daisy 20:28
A very good exercise also is write on your mirror "I love you".
Kathi 20:28
Yeah,
Kathi 20:32
Ah, yes, I love that one.
Daisy 20:33
I love you.
Kathi 20:34
I'm big on this. I actually have a whole presentation called mirror love based around that exact thing where I sort of tell people that you're trying to embrace self-love to do that every single day and the people I've done that with have reported back amazing changes in their self esteem. Amazing.
Daisy 20:54
Absolutely. But then you can only do that when you also believe it.
Kathi 20:59
Yes.
Daisy 21:00
I stand in front of the mirror and I love you. I love you. But I but I didn't do that and I feel that that and now I'm divorced and I lost my dog.
Kathi 21:09
There are other exercises that go along with it, but the repetition, the repetition helps them learn to change the way they think about themselves. And no, it doesn't stand alone. But yes.
Daisy 21:22
The repetition and it always links back to your body because it will always tell you what's going on in there,
Kathi 21:29
I think so,
Daisy 21:30
based on the feeling.
Kathi 21:31
Yes.
Daisy 21:32
So when I tell myself, I love you, because you're amazing. You're awesome. You're lovable, and you're loving and caring and creative and brilliant. And then I really then feel it because my body when I really, really, do it convincingly.
Kathi 21:46
I we should do this for ourselves. Wow, look, if we can't be our own best friend then how are we going to be anybody else's right?
Daisy 21:53
That's right. Exactly. I so agree with you. Now when I noticed the feeling, remember wherever your focus goes everything grows. So I repeat the word. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you until you believe it and feel it. And when you feel it, then that will be your new standard. Now when somebody out there has severe anxiety, please go and seek in person professional help.
Kathi 22:15
Yeah, absolutely.
Daisy 22:16
If you want to learn more, there are a lot of things that we cannot actually explore here and explain in the podcast because we're limited to the audio, right here.
Kathi 22:26
Yes, but reach out. Yes, please, please reach out,
Daisy 22:30
Reach out, please. We're here to help. That's one thing. And there's also in two of my books or tools in there. I have one that's software update for your mind, whether it's only about tools and skills that you can really do actually, and we're planning on putting that in an online course that's really kind of a quick course not like so many weeks and so many hours, no quick visual, all senses will be really inspired and awakened and you can do it really quickly.
Daisy 22:58
And there are very powerful self-talk rituals, how you can calm down your reptilian brain. I really believe what's helpful for you guys out there, for everyone who wants to share that, you can invite as many people as you wish, your family, your friends, your co-workers, anyone who matters. We even embrace entire groups or teams. And please join the dream life creators on Facebook, because we're going to give so much away there, that is visual that you can really do in an instant. And we give so much information for free. So please go and join us. We're just really excited to embrace you and welcome you there.
Kathi 23:39
Yeah, it's going to be fantastic. Daisy, and I have lots of things planned. We're going to do some workshop style zoom groups, live in the group. And we're going to do some interviews with some people and we're also going to give you some tools as well as our posts about stuff that sort of follows the dream life roadmap, because we really want to help you guys create change and transformation. Like once you get to the other side of the shit you're going through, you're going to be so much happier. I can guarantee it.
Kathi 24:16
So please do join us in the group. And we hope that today has been helpful talking about anxiety, what it is, how it affects you and how you can sort of deal with the symptoms in a quick way. But also we do urge you again, if you are experiencing a serious anxiety to place a professional, at the very least reach out to us so that we can have a chat to you and point you in a direction we think that would help you.
Daisy 24:46
Absolutely
Kathi 24:47
So don't suffer alone. You are not alone out there. And so we're going to wrap up today's episode, thank you for your time, we do appreciate it so much. We love having you tune in. Please share us out with your family and friends and don't forget to jump on over to Facebook and look up Dream Life Creators. There will of course be links down below.
Daisy 25:10
Yes. Thank you so much to everyone and anyone. One day many, many years ago I was asked Daisy, so what is your definition of success? (which will be another episode). And I said, well, if I can reach the heart of one soul, I already succeeded. So every single one of you out there you can personally feel that we're grateful for you being here.
Kathi 25:37
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I agree. I started this journey myself to help other people and I know I've helped some already. And so that just urges me on to keep going. And you know, to keep speaking out, because for a long time, I had no voice and I want to be the voice for those who have none until they can find their own.
Daisy 26:00
Yeah, for those who are yet to discover their own.
Kathi 26:02
Yes, exactly. And it is a process and I believe a life lesson. So I'm blessed to have found you, Daisy.
Daisy 26:09
I'm so grateful
Kathi 26:10
Blessed to have this audience in this platform to speak about things that really matter to us as human beings and that can change our lives. No matter our circumstances, our minds can change everything. And that was what we'd like you to remember as we leave you. You are how you behave.
Daisy 26:31
That's right. Thank you for listening in. Talk to you soon.
Kathi 26:35
This is Bald and Blonde
Daisy 26:36
mindset evolution.
Daisy 26:38
Thank you so much for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde mindset evolution podcast. Make sure you like our podcast, comment, and leave us a five star review. Subscribe on iTunes or wherever you consume podcasts, share with your friends and loved ones. Leave a comment and reach out to us with questions and how we can help you change your life. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Talk to you next time